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    walkbyfaith's Avatar
    walkbyfaith Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 3, 2012, 03:29 PM
    Grown abusive kids
    I have never found a site like this... I have a son who was the most loving and amazing son a mom could have. Now he's 32, on drugs and blames me for his terrible life.
    We don't speak and every now and again he sends me abusive irrational text messages about how I've abandoned him.
    Every time I text back suggesting he just pick up the phone or to meet somewhere to talk, he writes again... How I won't have nothing to do with him and how I'm destroying him etc... I write again, " Can we talk" and this cycle goes on and on until I just can't respond anymore.
    The messages are terrible abusive and they make no sense.
    I've decided to just continue to stay away from him and his abusive attacks against me.
    It's really sad and I still sit and wonder how someone who was your best friend could turn so cruelly on you one day...
    He has distanced himself from all his family and calls his Dad by his first name when referencing him... But all the hate and anger is being spewed out on me. I won't even explain his upbringing because I believe good parents can have kids turn bad and bad parents have kids turn good... This is the part that will make a good parent CRAZY...
    Boundaries is the key to wholeness and peace of mind with abusive adult children... Parents have to realize they have given more than half their lives away already and not to let these entitled adult children take any more of it.. We must spend whatever time we have left with those who love us and celebrate us. Life is short... Live in peace...
    God Bless..
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jun 3, 2012, 04:04 PM
    Life is short for all and even shorter for substance abusers, so if untreated this problem will eventually take care of itself. Make certain that you are resolute in your decision and that you will be comfortable with your decision for the rest of your life. Make certain you have made your decision to live your life regardless of whether it is living and having this son, or living and not having this son. In other words make sure that you won't live a significant portion of your later life asking yourself if you could have done more. I am not judging you but I know from experience that this is a terrible phase to have to go through if and when it happens, and the odds are very high that it will. And during those times you will remember the loving son, not the one who is presently under the control of mind altering drugs. If you have done all you can do I understand how you feel but if there is one more treatment possibility out there, pursue it if even remotely possible.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jun 3, 2012, 04:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by walkbyfaith View Post
    I have never found a site like this... I have a son who was the most loving and amazing son a mom could have. Now he's 32, on drugs and blames me for his terrible life.
    We don't speak and every now and again he sends me abusive irrational text messages about how I've abandoned him.
    Every time I text back suggesting he just pick up the phone or to meet somewhere to talk, he writes again........How I won't have nothing to do with him and how I'm destroying him etc.... I write again, " Can we talk" and this cycle goes on and on until I just can't respond anymore.
    The messages are terrible abusive and they make no sense.
    I've decided to just continue to stay away from him and his abusive attacks against me.
    It's really sad and I still sit and wonder how someone who was your best friend could turn so cruelly on you one day.....
    He has distanced himself from all his family and calls his Dad by his first name when referencing him... But all the hate and anger is being spewed out on me. I won't even explain his upbringing because I believe good parents can have kids turn bad and bad parents have kids turn good... This is the part that will make a good parent CRAZY....
    Boundaries is the key to wholeness and peace of mind with abusive adult children...Parents have to realize they have given more than half their lives away already and not to let these entitled adult children take any more of it..We must spend whatever time we have left with those who love us and celebrate us. Life is short...Live in peace...
    God Bless ..

    What is your question?

    It's the drugs talking.
    walkbyfaith's Avatar
    walkbyfaith Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Jun 3, 2012, 06:29 PM
    Very good advice... You always remember the good when someone you love is gone.
    Your right as I could never put the whole story on here but just the result of many many stories...
    It's good your not trying to judge.
    If you've lost someone you love due to substance abuse then let me write how sorry I am. I can't imagine nor do I want to ever go through that type of loss..
    Of course I will never give up on my son.. EVER.
    walkbyfaith's Avatar
    walkbyfaith Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jun 3, 2012, 06:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    What is your question?

    It's the drugs talking.

    You answered it...

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