[lifequestion]

I really don't care that half the world or more is watching porn. But I don't and I had share my strong feeling against it with my boyfriend.

He had a long history of watching porn. When he was around 7, he and his cousins found porn just laying around at their house and they watched it. Thus began this spiral, to him watching porn is normal.

I don't feel insecure about our relationship. I am capable of making him happy. But I am firm on the no porn policy. For me porn is for singles who are not getting laid and need release.

He's getting laid and I'm open minded. But he had lied to me, he said he've stop looking at porn but yesterday - I borrowed his phone to check out something online and the history search said: Youporn - I confronted him and ask him what is this and he proceed to lie and said his friend told him someone from his old high school was on youporn so he checked it out. I pressed on and saw that he was looking at multiple porn and it wasn't just to find this girl.

He said he was looking up things for us to do. THen he said he doesn't watch porn, he just listen to the sound and think of me.
This is complete bull. I'm always willing to include phone sex or do things with him why would he say those things. It's not flattering it's just hurt that he proceed to lie and keep things from me.

Yes I've heard that guys need release or they will have wet dream but if he love me and want this relationship to work then I told him no porn.

Why is porn so important to someone that they would be willing to throw away a one year committed relationship for? How can people justify porn as not cheating if their partner is against it? People in relationship make compromise and make up the rules for relationship together - if one is not willing to abide by the rule then why even bother build something together that's made of lies?

Seriously does EVERYONE watch porn - EXCEPT me??

[Fr_Chuck]

No, you are a women, many women do not watch porn. But most men watch it at least some, your demand that he does not watch it is unrealistic unless you want to become a nun and never have a boyfrend.

And unless it is effecting your sex life at some point you will have to accept it, or accept being lied to. Since they will be too scared to be honest with you

[C0bra_M3nace]

This post, for a minute actually scared me because I was in the same situation with my girlfriend not long ago. She found mine, got upset and told me exactly what your saying now. I stopped, it was hard, but I stopped. Now the question I have for you, is this.

Have you told your boyfriend how you feel about it, and by that I mean, have you told him everything you just posted.

Because if you did, and he's still doing it, just get up and leave. Pornography can be part of a normal functional relationship, but some girls, like yourself feel cheated and left out by it. It's your life, and your decide, but don't let him keep doing that to you. Lay down the line, or leave.

[mmresd]

Nothing wrong with watching porn. You need to calm down. What someone does on their own time is their business, not yours. If everything in the relationship is going OK, what is it that you are complaining about? Now if he is watching porn, and therefore does not want to touch you because he is already "satisfied" then I would understand your concern. But if your sex life is as good as you make it seem, and he watches porn because he is bored (not of you) from time to time what is wrong with that. Tell him not to do in front of you, and if you are also very self confident as you say, then what is the problem? You cannot complain about him lying to you whenever you have this CLOSED (not open) point of view, he doesn't want to ruin the relationship and therefore keeps it hidden, I would recommend a don't ask don't tell policy. However, if this really is as big an issue as you have made it, break up with the guy now, I can guarantee he won't stop watching porn, maybe just get better at hiding it from you.

[C0bra_M3nace]

Nothing wrong with watching porn. You need to calm down. What someone does on their own time is their business, not yours. If everything in the relationship is going ok, what is it that you are complaining about? Now if he is watching porn, and therefore does not want to touch you because he is already "satisfied" then I would understand your concern. But if your sex life is as good as you make it seem, and he watches porn because he is bored (not of you) from time to time what is wrong with that. Tell him not to do in front of you, and if you are also very self confident as you say, then what is the problem? You cannot complain about him lying to you whenever you have this CLOSED (not open) point of view, he doesn't want to ruin the relationship and therefore keeps it hidden, I would recommend a don't ask don't tell policy. However, if this really is as big an issue as you have made it, break up with the guy now, I can guarantee he won't stop watching porn, maybe just get better at hiding it from you.

Watching porn is fine until it directly affects your relationship, which it is doing.

[talaniman]

What kind of relationship demands that people change to accommodate a partners fears and insecurities? If you cannot accept him for who he is then leave for the kind of guy you want. At least compromise, he gives up something you ask, and you give up something he asks of you!

But never make it about change for me or I am gone, because good bye is what you hear! That's not love, or being willing to compromise. I have dated many females who hated porn and they made the same demands you do of your guy, and if he cannot reassure you he will eventually tire of you because like it or not this opens a door to cater to YOUR issues, that YOU should be dealing with NOT him.

Why did you even agree to a committed relationship in the first place with a guy who watched porn? Don't answer, because you thought he would change, but didn't/couldn't. He lied! He shouldn't have, he should have just told you NO!

Does he have to give up Monday Night Football too? The movies on HBO?? Come on, this is only as big an issue as you make it. And if you are open minded about sex with him, why are you not as open minded about porn? Its his thing, not yours, and honestly, its none of your business what he does when you aren't around. Does he make similar demands on you? What if he doesn't like the way you dress, or some of your friends, or the soap operas, or your love of shopping? Can he make demands on you to quite do them? If not, think, and hold your peace.