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Datinghelp111 · May 3, 2012, 10:17 AM

When we first started dating I lied to him about several things including my natural hairstyle, my fathers occupation and him being retired, me having insurance, and about other unimportant money issues. We've been together almost a year now and he wants to meet my parents but I'm scared he'll find out all my little lies! I'm not proud of how I've acted, all these lies are kind of stopping our relationship from growing since lately all I've been feeling is guilty. That's not even all because when we first started dating, I would tell my friends that 3 months tops and I would break up because I didn't think I would ever like him and now I just feel awful. Sometimes I say that I don't know if I really like him... Sometimes I think, if he wasn't here, I wouldn't feel complete but I don't know if this is because I truly love him or because I feel secure and comfortable in the relationship and would feel lonely without him. I realize some of you will judge me because I myself judge my actions but I really need help here! I can't take the guilt of all these feelings, lies, and backtalking I have done. Should I break up with him because of all of this or should I stick it out even though I might get caught up in all my stupid embarrassing lies (since he says he wants to spend his life with me)? I'm confused, please help me!

starship19 · May 3, 2012, 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by Datinghelp111

When we first started dating I lied to him about several things including my natural hairstyle, my fathers occupation and him being retired, me having insurance, and about other unimportant money issues. We've been together almost a year now and he wants to meet my parents but I'm scared he'll find out all my little lies! I'm not proud of how I've acted, all these lies are kind of stopping our relationship from growing since lately all I've been feeling is guilty. That's not even all because when we first started dating, I would tell my friends that 3 months tops and I would break up because I didn't think I would ever like him and now I just feel awful. Sometimes I say that I don't know if I really like him... Sometimes I think, if he wasn't here, I wouldn't feel complete but I don't know if this is because I truly love him or because I feel secure and comfortable in the relationship and would feel lonely without him. I realize some of you will judge me because I myself judge my actions but I really need help here! I can't take the guilt of all these feelings, lies, and backtalking I have done. Should I break up with him because of all of this or should I stick it out even though I might get caught up in all my stupid embarrassing lies (since he says he wants to spend his life with me)? I'm confused, please help me!

Hey. I am not judging you. I haven't necessarily gone through the same situation, but I have felt some if not ALL of the feelings that you have felt & or still feeling.. I would say if he loves you and wants too spend the whole rest of his life with you, he will understand why you lied & maybe will be disappointed but won't give up on you. & If he just drops you like a "Hot Potato" (best I could describe it) he will probably regret giving up on you because after all he says that he loves you(: and if not... Think about it, if you & him got married and you made ONE little mistake... Would he just drop you because you made a mistake ? But I am not saying what you did was a LITTLE mistake, but it still was a mistake. And you are feeling guilt. So he must know that you care about him because you are feeling guilt. Right ? And if you do choose to tell him, he may be proud but disappointed or maybe he lied to you about something ? I really hope that he finds out the truth.. & That YOU are the person who owns up and tells him. Good Luck(: let me know what happens!

talaniman · May 3, 2012, 11:25 AM

Come clean with the truth and let him decide what he does about it. That's fair!

mmresd · May 3, 2012, 11:29 AM

You cannot undo what you have done. If anything comes up, it will get dealt with as time passes, from now on start telling the truth. Lesson learned, next time don't lie and you won't have this problem.

Fr_Chuck · May 3, 2012, 11:32 AM

Yes, time to tell him the truth, confess and hope he does not lose all trust in you.

You can not keep going in this relationshp based and started in lies.

And 100 small lies are often worst than one large one, since they are done for no real reason and can make them worry about larger issues.

If you have an issue with lying, perhaps professional counseling since with maybe the issue of hair color or something ( who knows that with women or care anyway)

Also you may even want to confess some of this to your parents, since it was about them.