[sup3rcow]

My boyfriend broke up with me, over a stupid lie. I was emailing one of my male friends, it was a totally innocent email and when he asked me who he is, I lied and said I am writing to a girl. I felt so stupid about this lie, that in the next minute I admitted to him I lied and told him the truth. I lied because he asked me on the spot, quite angry, and I felt scared.

But apparently he felt so insulted by this lie (cuz he could see right through it), that he broke up with me. We were so in love, everything was so magical and beautiful, he was the most caring and gentle man a woman could ask for. And in a matter of minutes he just totally transformed and insulted me saying that I don't worth anything to him now anymore.. that people like me clean his office at work... And only one day before, I was everything for him, the brightest, the prettiest girl in the universe... and now I let him down.

I am so sad, and in the same time, I don't feel guilty because it was a stupid thing to do and I admitted to it. I never lied to him before... ever. I am not like that, I don't know what got into me when I lied to him...

Now he told me to move out, and acts so cold, he doesn't want to eat together, he doesn't want to see me. Even when I talk to him, he doesn't look at me anymore, but at the walls, as a sign of disgust... I've been super good to him, I left all my friends and going out for him. He is very special, and very mature... he told me I am too young and he doesn't have time to play, like I do... What can I do to show him I didn't lie deliberately, it was a crazy moment... :(

He helped me a lot, we live together and we both working, we were having such a great life, honestly, I didn't need anybody else, I never cheated or talked to guys in a frisky way, just pure conversations - especially when he spends a lot of time in the bedroom on his computer, so I get bored sometimes.

I know he is lying to me too, sometimes I snoop in his phone and I know he has about 2-3 girls who is always texting in a flirting way, but although it bothers me, I never confronted him about it - and he lies to me about them. Also, he just registered on a dating site, but because he is so loving, and always puts me in the first place, I never thought anything suspicious about this...
I confronted him about this, when he called me a liar and told me I am worth nothing anymore, but he says that we weren't so committed when he did what he did..

He is everything I ever wanted, very mature and protective... loving but he has strong principles. He told me that I can do anything to him, apart from lying.. he hates it. But it wasn't even I lie, I admitted to it straight away - I even invited to read through my emails, Facebook etc.. but he doesn't want to hear from me :(

What can I do, what do you think? Is it my fault or is it just him not worthy? I mean, if he really loved me, he could get over it, the same way I got over some things about him, because I can see the bigger picture...

Thank you for reading. I am completely heart broke and so confused. All my world and future just crumbled in a matter of minutes...

[CoruptedAngel]

My boyfriend has strong principles also. Listen to me closely. You may have admitted that you messed up and you'r sorry but that doesn't make it go away. His thinking and he is right, if what you have lied before or will again. Little lies can cause a trust issue as bad as little dumb lies. I am speaking from experience. Now you have a big mess out of a little lie. And the trust has been broken. Plain and simple. There is no way around that problem but to start working on repairing and hope he gives you the chance to do it and not mess up again. That little one right answer,"The truth" would have been so much better. If you had just told him might have caused a little argument or none at all. But sure would've been better than lying cause now look at where you stand! Now just talk to him and tell him you will prove to him you will never lie again and DON'T DO IT!!

Honesty is the best policy.

[sup3rcow]

Thank you CoruptedAngel for your answer.

You are very right - he told me that I just broke the trust, and because I defended myself by saying: -it's only a little thing- he said in shock -exactly, because you see it such a little thing, the size doesn't matter to me, you insulted my intelligence-

But he lied to me constantly about the friends he was seeing, I knew he was seeing girls, and not guys, and he was flirting with them. But I saw it as just a stage, compared to the large scale of life (the big picture), I never confronted him about it.. although he was lying to me, I never lost trust in him.

When I asked for a second chance, he didn't want even to think about it. He told me he was relieved that he saw my true colours early enough and no bad damage was done.

I just feel like a piece of nothing now, worthless, I lost all the confidence, I feel like the most horrible person on earth, I hurt the only person who really matter for me, and he doesn't want to hear about me anymore

My heart is broke :(

[LadySam]

I could be wrong but your boyfriend seems to put himself on a bit of a pedestal. That he is mistake free (in his eyes) and his expectations of others to be mistake free is unreasonable.

Yes, you lied, admitted it and it should have been dropped. You made a mistake and owned up to it.
As for going into his phone, well, that is his private business. And if he knows you have done this, there is another reason to mistrust you.
The fact that you're not worth anything to him any more and people like you clean his office at work. Honestly, who does he think he is? I know people who clean offices for a living, it's an honest, hard working way to make living. And think about it those people HAVE to be trustworthy, they are in offices cleaning, after hours around other peoples stuff.

Again, I could be wrong, but he seems to using your little lie as an excuse.

Ever heard this saying?
The guilty dog always barks first.

[sup3rcow]

Thank you LadySam, your answer cheered me up a bit. You are right, he always keep telling me that I will forever regret what I have done because I will never meet anybody like him, who offered me the world, and I don't realise what I have lost. Only later on in life I will realise my mistake... I know he is special, but I had past relationships which worked fine -not as fine as this one... but still

There is an age gap of 16 yrs between us. I am 24, and sometimes he makes me feel like a guilty child who broke a vase, it made such a big deal out of it... and because I left all my friends (Who he considered them to be too low- out of my league to spend time with them and asked me to isolate myself), so now I don't have anybody to talk to and to listen to my story.

I do feel he thinks to good of himself. He did a lot in his past life, he is a great person but I just want him to forgive me, and at least don't despise me and think of me I am that low...

Thank you again LadySam

[CoruptedAngel]

While I do believe he went to far as I stated. Throwing you out etc was extreme. Just try to fix what you can and you and him talk. If that doesn't work and he don't at least let you try to fix things maybe this was an excuse you made for him to leave the relationship. That way he could blame you and not him.

[JudyKayTee]

Your boyfriend has made himself judge and jury - I agree with LadySam.

[sup3rcow]

While I do believe he went to far as I stated. Throwing you out etc was extreme. Just try to fix what you can and you and him talk. If that doesn't work and he don't at least let you try to fix things maybe this was an excuse you made for him to leave the relationship. That way he could blame you and not him.

CoruptedAngel I believe now he wanted to leave the relationship, and didn't have a suitable reason for it.
He was asking me to have a baby and I told him I would never have a baby without being married first, so I think he did not want to commit to that.

Last week he told me a subtle comment: "you don't want any kids, you ask too much from a man", so I believe that's when it started in his brain that I am not suitable for him.

When we talked about the breaking-up event, he said that I should feel honoured that he wanted a kid with Me... he never wanted a kid with any of his 1000 girlfriends he claims he had (big lie)... and I wasn't worthy for him sharing this wish with me...

Thank you so much for reading... I feel so much better after your comments, I really do, it makes me cope with this awkward situation

[Homegirl 50]

It concerns me that you lied to him because you were scared. Are you often fearful of him?
He sounds a bit full of himself. Runs you in the ground because you lied, yet he has no problem lying to you.
I think him breaking up with you is the best thing to happen to you. Your life with him would be a mess. He would hold you to a higher standard than he stands up to.
Be glad you are done with this guy. He is not worth the hassle

[Fr_Chuck]

After reading all of this, no the two people where not deeply in love, and there was not a good relationship in this to start with. I see it as a troubled relationship where they were used to it,

One person scared to be honest, another controlling

Sorry best thing that could happen was the break up so you can move on