[jgordon]

Should she move to me or should I move to her?

[Alty]

More info would be great.

As is, the answer to your question would be "it's up to you, and her".

[odinn7]

I say yes... however, I asked my wife what she thinks and she said no. I then went to my daughter and got an answer from her and she said she isn't sure. I will ask around at work tomorrow and see if the guys there think you should move or she should move. If that doesn't work, I'll put an ad in the paper and ask for people to give opinions.





Really... I think we need a little more information to work with.

[Alty]

I say yes....however, I asked my wife what she thinks and she said no. I then went to my daughter and got an answer from her and she said she isn't sure. I will ask around at work tomorrow and see if the guys there think you should move or she should move. If that doesn't work, I'll put an ad in the paper and ask for people to give opinions.





Really....I think we need a little more information to work with.

Funny, I asked my dogs, the bunnies, the bird, the fish, and the kids, and they all said "ask me tomorrow". I guess we'll know then. ;)

[jgordon]

I live near the city and she lives an hour away in a small town. I am very close with my friends and family who live near by and she isn't close with anyone really. I love her to death but she can be very selfish. We broke up a year ago and she came back crying telling me she would move down once my lease is up. She has a condo she owns and was worried about renting it out. I offered to help remodel her condo with my dad and get it rented out and take care of it. I work with a company I have been with since I graduated college and she is working at a restuarnt. The restaurnt chain has one right next to my job and they told her they would hire her. We have been dating on and off for 3 years. I love her to death but the commute was killing me. I would drive up after work and wake up on 4 hours of sleep to drive back in the morning and with traffic the hour commute quickly turns into 21/2 hour commute. Then she tells me she signed back up for school near her town and basically told me we weren't moving in together. I just didn't want to move to her town because it didn't have much for me in terms of a career/family/friends. She says she is OK with being alone... I don't get it.

[Alty]

It sounds like she's not ready to make a commitment to you. Everything has been set up for her to move to be with you, and she's clearly said that's not what she wants, she prefers to stay alone.

I would talk to her about what she expects from this relationship. Is she just biding her time until something better comes along, or does she see this as a long term thing? Not that she has to move in with you right now in order to prove her love. But I do have to wonder why she's so reluctant to be with you.

[jgordon]

I think it stems from a rough childhood. Her mom has mental issues and her dad takes care of his step family better. My girlfriend is close to 30 and still dwells over her childhood. I just wish she would change but I guess its time to move on.

[odinn7]

It really sounds like she isn't going to move no matter what. I would say that you're better off staying where you are. Talk about it with her but don't expect too much. It may be time for you to consider breaking it off.

[jgordon]

I failed to mention something. I broke up with her in 6 months ago because I felt she didn't deserve me. Now, I hear she is moving near me. Don't forget I almost quit my job and moved to her less then 7 months ago. I find out now she is moving less then 10 miles away but we still have not talked in 5 months. What is her deal!

[Alty]

I failed to mention something. I broke up with her in 6 months ago because I felt she didn't deserve me. Now, I hear she is moving near me. Don't forget I almost quit my job and moved to her less then 7 months ago. I find out now she is moving less then 10 miles away but we still have not talked in 5 months. What is her deal!?

It sounds like she wants to break up, but just doesn't know how to go about it.

Make it official. Call off this relationship. It's going nowhere.

[Cat1864]

I live near the city and she lives an hour away in a small town. I am very close with my friends and family who live near by and she isn't close with anyone really. I love her to death but she can be very selfish. We broke up a year ago and she came back crying telling me she would move down once my lease is up. She has a condo she owns and was worried about renting it out. I offered to help remodel her condo with my dad and get it rented out and take care of it. I work with a company I have been with since I graduated college and she is working at a restuarnt. The restaurnt chain has one right next to my job and they told her they would hire her. We have been dating on and off for 3 years. I love her to death but the commute was killing me. I would drive up after work and wake up on 4 hours of sleep to drive back in the morning and with traffic the hour commute quickly turns into 21/2 hour commute. Then she tells me she signed back up for school near her town and basically told me we weren't moving in together. I just didn't want to move to her town because it didn't have much for me in terms of a career/family/friends. She says she is ok with being alone...I don't get it.

I failed to mention something. I broke up with her in 6 months ago because I felt she didn't deserve me. Now, I hear she is moving near me. Don't forget I almost quit my job and moved to her less then 7 months ago. I find out now she is moving less then 10 miles away but we still have not talked in 5 months. What is her deal!?

This is starting to not add up.

You were off and on for three years. You broke up a year ago and got back together. Then you broke up six months ago, but you don't mention getting back together. You haven't talked to her in five months and have 'heard' that she is moving closer to where you live. When did you hear this 'news'?

What is the longest you were together in when of your 'on' periods? What was the longest you were apart in one of your 'off' periods?

Who usually does the 'breaking up'?

Why would she want to lease out her condo to move in with you when he relationship wasn't stable?

Why would you want to move closer to her (if you learned about her moving in the past ten days) if you haven't talked to her in five months and broke up with her six months ago? You aren't a couple unless you have failed to mention more details.

Just leave her alone and let her live her life and you live yours.

[Alty]

I had to spread the rep Cat, but you said it all. I couldn't agree more.