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Jeanly · Feb 25, 2012, 10:55 AM

He was actually asked to stop making his child support payments and cease all form of comunnication with his son so that his sons stepfather could adopt him. Will my husband have legal problems with child support because of this.

excon · Feb 25, 2012, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by Jeanly

Will my husband have legal problems with child support because of this.?

Hello J:

If done in consort with the adoption AND the family court, he'll be fine. He's probably going to be giving up any visitation rights too, but it doesn't sound like he's using what he's got in any case.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Feb 25, 2012, 03:37 PM

Yes, he can give up his rights and not pay future child support at the day the adoption goes though. If he owes back support normally he will still have to pay that.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2012, 05:34 PM

He should NOT stop child support until the adoption is finalized. At least, not without something in writing.

Jeanly · Feb 26, 2012, 08:08 AM

Thanks and no because she would not alllow it not even letters, only permitted money gifts through mail. And since we live in different countries (the child is state side). That's the problem we don't know what she is doing. She only told us what she was going to do and for my husband to cease all contact and payments.

excon · Feb 26, 2012, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by Jeanly

She only told us what she was going to do and for my husband to cease all contact and payments.

Hello again, J:

You got good advice. I hope it works out for you...

I COULD leave it at that, but I'm not going to. I understand that you're not in the same place, so being a father was made more difficult.. I understand that she TOLD you certain things, and there was nothing you could do...

Nahhhh...

Unless you were deported, you CHOSE to relocate. You CHOSE not to fight for your son, and it appears now, that you're only interested in what happens to the child support...

Now, I'm no better than you.. In fact, I'm a lot worse in many ways. But, when I was confronted by the same choices you had, instead of moving overseas, I moved 3 doors down from my son.

I'm an old fart now, and my son lives 6 blocks from me. I've got the greatest grandchildren in the world, and I spend a LOT of time with them... Yeah, I don't mind if this makes you feel bad.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Feb 26, 2012, 09:08 AM

First the mother can not tell the father what he can or can't do in contact with the child. If she is not allowing letters, take her to court for contempt, If she will not allow visits, take her to court to take custody of the kids away.

He has chosen to let his ex control him, and take his blessings of his children away. Personally I feel this is a disgrace.

He has the RIGHT to visit with his kids. To have them in his home over holidays and more.
He has just chosen not to fight for those rights.

AK lawyer · Feb 26, 2012, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by Jeanly

He was actually asked to stop making his child support payments and cease all form of comunnication iwth his son so that his sons stepfather could adopt him. ...

In many states, if the father refuses to consent to an adopiton, the step-father's attorney will need to find grounds to work around such refusal. One of them might be failure to support &/or communicate with the child. So this may be a tactic they using to get an adoption approved.

I don't know if your husband is willing to consent to an adoption. He will have to be given notice of an adoption petition in any case. But if he is willing, I don't know why she is refusing support and communication, unless she is misunderstanding what her lawyer has told her.

ScottGem · Feb 26, 2012, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by Jeanly

Thanks and no because she would not alllow it not even letters, only permitted money gifts through mail. And since we live in different countries (the child is state side). Thats the problem we dont know what she is doing. She only told us what she was going to do and for my husband to cease all contact and payments.

I have to side somewhat with the others. The mother has NO right to block a father from being part of his children's lives. Therefore, your husband has decided to not fight for his rights to be a part of their lives. Personally I find that disgraceful. But since I don't know the whole story I will leave it at that.

The bottom line here is if there are court orders dictating support, then he cannot stop support until he receives a court order not to pay. He also needs documentation of the adoption to end his involvement.

JudyKayTee · Feb 26, 2012, 11:23 AM

I'm coming in late but only a Court Order can change a Court Order - a verbal agreement to stop support (or a written agreement, for that matter) is meaningless. If support is to be stopped after having been ordered a Court must do so. If father doesn't pay (with mother's consent) and mother comes back at him some time in the future, he owes the arrearages.