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SoAlone · Feb 20, 2007, 03:35 PM

To all of the women/teenage girls,

If your boyfriend was hitting you and beating you up, and one of your friends told you to dump him because of it... what would you do? Listen to your friend or stay with the guy?

Teaching · Feb 20, 2007, 03:45 PM

It isn't okay for anyone to hit you. I would get help and get out of the relationship. Obviously this person needs help. If you stay in this kind of relationship you will not be doing anyone any favours. This is NEVER OKAY, anytime anyone abuses you verbally, physically - get out and get help. Take care of yourself please.

J_9 · Feb 20, 2007, 03:46 PM

Really?

I would get out of the relationship before it escilated to getting killed. Living in an abusive relationship is DANGEROUS.

Why do you think it is okay to get hit and beat up? Do you think that is normal?

shygrneyzs · Feb 20, 2007, 03:46 PM

Listen to your friend. Why do you want to stay with someone who beats you up? Do not tell me you love him. Do not tell me he loves you. That is not real love.

If you have not contacted someone from a women's resource center, like a safe shelter or abuse crisis center, please do so, ASAP. You need some counseling to understand that your boyfriend is abusive and will most likely (99.99%) continue to be abusive. Nothing you can do will change that. Nothing! What you can do is to get help for yourself.

Have you reported his abuse to the local police or sheriff? What he is doing is criminal and he can be prosecuted for it. You need to learn how not to be his victim, but how to overcome the situation and get away from this guy.

Please get some help for yourself. Abuse does not lessen - it intensifies and there have been many a woman in a morgue to prove it.

s_cianci · Feb 20, 2007, 07:12 PM

I'd listen to my friend and get a restraining order against the guy. Then enforce it to the utmost.

Cb1 · Feb 25, 2007, 12:36 PM

Unfortunately a lot of women do not have selfworth that is why they pick up abusers, wife beaters, baby daddys and girlfriend-cursing men etc.

These nasty men know that no self-respecting woman will stay with them that is why when you want to leave they won't let you.

The ball is in your court!

talaniman · Feb 26, 2007, 11:10 AM

Listen to your friend and get him as far out of your life as possible, and then get some profesional help to help you see that you have a dangerous unhealthy relationship, if you cannot see how wrong it is for one human to beat another.

scol409 · Feb 26, 2007, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by SoAlone

To all of the women/teenage girls,

If your boyfriend was hitting you and beating you up, and one of your friends told you to dump him because of it... what would you do? listen to your friend or stay with the guy?

Leave and don't look back. Value yourself. Have some self respect and realize that people treat you how you allow them to treat you. Even though I don't know you - I know you deserve better than to be hit.

firey40 · Feb 26, 2007, 11:30 AM

You need to get out of that relationship. You can't be letting yourself get hurt any more. God put you here to be happy:)

sexybeasty · Feb 26, 2007, 12:11 PM

It may not be about self respect for you anymore, it may be about fear. What are you afraid of? Do you have family? What keeps you there?

The reason I ask? I was abused by my first husband. It came subtly and when he felt he had me, after marriage, things changed for the worse. It was fear that may me feel I had to stay after that. I was fearful of being the first in the family to divorce. I was in fear of my job becoming involved... we were both in the military and that was another "bad marriage" for me.LOL I was in fear of my husband reatliating. He always threatened me with hit men. I didn't believe him, but wasn't sure what he would do, as he was crazy... and physically violent. Mental and emotional abuse were in play also.

If you think things are going to improve in time, think again. Usually violence escellates. My saving grace was that my then hubby got a girl on the side and I left when he was away for training in another country. Timing is everything in these cases. I was just out of the mililtary (honerable discharge) so they weren't in charge of me anymore either.

Get yourself into counselling first, and discuss with the counselor your best and SAFEST options. Bless you, honey. It can be sooo much better. My second husband, who I have been married to for fifteen years is a dreamboat who adores me and treats me like the princess I felt I was born to be, Accept no less. (smile)

SapphireChild · Feb 27, 2007, 09:57 AM

If one of my boyfriends ever put his hands on me, I'd dump him the first time it had happened. There can't possibly be anything good in this relationship that can outweigh the fact that he does this to you. For the sake of everything good in the world, this guy needs to be left.

justme29 · Mar 1, 2007, 04:49 PM

Having been abused by my father while I was younger I realised nomatter what I had 2 get out, I moved into my mothers and am happy with how things are, I have'nt seen my dad since but I have no regrets and feel free from the pain he used 2 cause me, don't let anything get worse you need 2 get away as your friend says to. I have post traumatic stress and struggle with every day, get away and be strong, no person in the world should treat you or anyone else like that, I wish you all the best