[bmichelle]

My fiancé has been involved in my daughters life since she was 5 months old, she calls him daddy and he is the only father figure she has had in her life. Her biological father is unknown so there is no name on her birth cert, can my faince adopt her? Any advice would help, thanks!

[joypulv]

Each state has different laws about this and all matters of paternity.
Many states require a good faith effort to find the bio father, and that may mean several different things.
With more and more bio father rights being made into law all the time, because of DNA, courts don't make it easy for a mother to claim she doesn't know who the father is - because of course many times she does, or has a good idea, and just doesn't want that man in her or the child's life.
So.. what state are you in?
Are you prepared for probably needing to pay a lawyer?

[cdad]

Can you explain how you have no clue who you have slept with to create a child ?

[AK lawyer]

Can you explain how you have no clue who you have slept with to create a child ?

She was sound asleep when he crept into her bed and had his way with her, while all the time she kept on sleeping. Isn't it obvious? :rolleyes:

It should also be noted that, in most places, the "fiance" needs to actually marry the OP before he can adopt her child.

[joypulv]

Getting snide over an event you have no clue about how it happened..
You each owe a fine to the AMHD Legal Aid Fund. I've paid hundreds, but not for sniggly remarks.

[cdad]

Getting snide over an event you have no clue about how it happened....?
You each owe a fine to the AMHD Legal Aid Fund. I've paid hundreds, but not for sniggly remarks.

Mine was in the form of a question. Motion denied!!

[AK lawyer]

Can you explain how you have no clue who you have slept with to create a child ?

For Joypulv, who seems to want a more serious answer, I suspect that OP at the time slept with more men than she can remember, but is reluctant to admit it. There, Joypulv: this guess was not as much fun, but it will hopefully make you happier. ;)

[joypulv]

I never asked for an answer to who the father is, or who she thinks it is, or why she doesn't know, or anything except what state she is in and if she is prepared to pay a lawyer.

Women, in case you haven't noticed, can get drunk at parties and not even know they are 'having sex,' but since they were flirting and whatnot, they are too ashamed to admit it. Men have a tough time having sex without knowing it.

Plus, OP never said that she had so many partners that she doesn't know which one it could be. She said he is 'unknown.' This could mean that she had a fight with her boyfriend of many years, had sex once with an old boyfriend, and doesn't know which one is the father. Or got pregnant with a one night stand she really doesn't know, but it's her only one night stand. She could very well know who the father is, but she refuses to reveal his identity because of embarrassment, or even the rare case of being paid off.

That's why I warned her that courts are more cautious these days, with bio fathers coming forward after adoptions.

[ScottGem]

Ok first lets show a little of diplomacy and sense here. I do believe it's a valid question of how the father can be "unknown", but we need to be aware of the fact that it could be a child of rape. I can understand the OP not discussing that initially. So the snide comments were out of place.

To Michelle,
The fact of the matter is, unless your child was the result of a forcible encounter by a stranger, it is likely the court will require that you identify all potential fathers. And that these fathers be contacted and tested to determine who the father is. So that father can be given the opportunity to be a father to his child.

My advice to you is to hire an attorney who can explain what you will need to do put an adoption through. Most likely this will mean getting married for at least a year and identifying the bio father.

[AK lawyer]

...
Women, in case you haven't noticed, can get drunk at parties and not even know they are 'having sex,' but since they were flirting and whatnot, they are too ashamed to admit it. Men have a tough time having sex without knowing it. ...

No, actually I didn't know that. Maybe I haven't been to the "right" parties lately.


It's a slow day. I was suggesting a possible answer to Califdadof3's rhetorical question pending OP's return.

Hope we haven't scared her off. :cool:

...
Plus, OP never said that she had so many partners that she doesn't know which one it could be. She said he is 'unknown.' This could mean that she had a fight with her boyfriend of many years, had sex once with an old boyfriend, and doesn't know which one is the father. Or got pregnant with a one night stand she really doesn't know, but it's her only one night stand. She could very well know who the father is, but she refuses to reveal his identity because of embarrasment, or even the rare case of being paid off. ...

Most of this could be true, except that if's a choice between a discrete number of candidates (as in your example with steady BF and old BF), it would be skirting the truth to say that his identity is, simply, "unknown".

[cdad]

Mine was not a rhetorical question. I was asking to see how the OP was making the claim as it could be one of many outcomes. As Scott has already stated there isn't just one answer to the question.