[khaos87]

Hello name is Blake I have some questions I hope give me some hope... :.ok I was married to this girl for 6 years cheated on her 2 times got caught the second time she left me for good... she took my 3 kids left state well she called me Saturday and we had talked for awhile she had told me she hasn't moved on but she was talkjng to other guys and some of thrm liked her... she said she gave me her blessings and I could move on anyway she said she was going to call me the next day and never did... well Wed came around she called and I asked why she didn't call and she said she didn't want to lead me on... I asked her if she loved me still she said she didn't anymore I really want my family back what can I do to make her want me again?

Also she didn't call for 3 months I forgot to say that part and we were together 6 years married for 2 of them were 23 and 24 sorry guys just mind is lost today after our conversation...

[Wondergirl]

Are you going to be faithful from now on? Why weren't you before? And why should she trust you?

[khaos87]

Yes now I will because the old saying everyone know u don't know what u got till its gone or u take it for granted its true... my boys need us to b a family again I really want to be how can I win her back?

[Fr_Chuck]

She has lost trust, and to be honest you did not stop cheating till you got caught,? Or did you quit, have you been seeing or dating the girl youu got caught with ?

[khaos87]

I was sort of dating her but then after awhile I was so down I knew I was doing wrong so I broke it off with her... yes I know trust is gone is it possible to win her heart back and how?

[Wondergirl]

She said she doesn't love you any longer. I'm thinking this marriage is over. You know your wife far better than we do. What do you think you can do to repair the situation, even a little bit?

[khaos87]

I mean don't get me wrong I wish I had that answer to just repair it a bit... I want to really be faithful to her now... I mean I can say all that to her but she has the trust issue like chuck said... I want to tell her so much when she calls but she never seems interested in who I am with or what I've even been up 2... I wish I could turn back time after feeling this horrible pain...

[Wondergirl]

I mean don't get me wrong I wish I had tht answer to just repair it a bit

Well, if I were you, I would stay in close touch with my children. How old are they?

[khaos87]

Almost 4 3 and almost 1 I try but she calls blocked so she calls when she feels like it says a little bit and hangs up... u think there is any hope for me getting her back...

[Wondergirl]

Almost 4 3 and almost 1 I try but she calls blocked so she calls when she feels like it says a little bit and hangs up....u think there is any hope for me getting her back....

You've got to stop thinking of yourself and start thinking of your wife and especially the kids. What can you do to put your kids first? Are you sending support money? Cards? Notes? But do not send tons of gifts. Oh, do you know where they are living? The address?

[khaos87]

She says she don't want money and I don't know where she's living... I wish I did cause I would b sending gifts and toys and all that good stuff... I always put them first but right now I just want them back but I don't know what my chances are...

[Wondergirl]

She says she don't want money and I don't know where she's living....I wish I did cause I would b sending gifts and toys and all tht good stuff....I always put them first but right now I just want them back but idk what my chances are...

No, that's the exactly wrong thing to do, sending them gifts and toys. It looks like you are trying to buy them. You don't want to give that impression. If you contact her or she contacts you, all you will say is that you are sorry and is there any way to mend this. Don't get all gooey or apologetic or full of excuses. Keep it short. Give her time to miss you.

[khaos87]

I do understand what your saying but you don't think 3 months of no contact wasn't long enough though? Ok for sure wondergirl you are awesome you make me feel like not all hope is lost I know I can change but its going to take time... I am just going to say sorry and den what hang up till her I have to go or keep talking

And if she says there is no way to mend this what I say?

[Wondergirl]

And if she says there is no way to mend this what I say?

Say you're sorry to hear that, but you do understand.


You DO realize what you've done, don't you?

Is she planning to file for divorce?

[khaos87]

She just called again sorry I was on the phone I said sorry I didn't want her back I just want to get along for the kids sake... I filed for divorce already...

And yes I do realize what I've done at this point I don't know if.there is any hope... but I got to try and c what happens...

[Wondergirl]

What did she say when you told her you have filed for divorce?

[khaos87]

Nothing really just it was for the best she knew a long time ago that I was filling cause I told her friend and her friend told her... but I don't know what will happen as far as me and her she won't give me her number either she calls blocked says I M not getting it till she knows I am not going to try getting back with her I did keep insisting but she wasn't nudging

[Wondergirl]

idk what will happen as far as me and her

The main concern should be the kids -- not you and not her, but those three babies of yours. Make them the center of your life.

If she allowed phone calls, then what would you do?

[khaos87]

Idk probably just b polite and say hi every once in awhile give me a chance to ask if I can call them..

[Wondergirl]

Idk probably just b polite and say hi every once in awhile give me a chance to ask if I can call em..

Always be polite. No excuses. No blubbering. No prying questions. No confessions. Be a class act. Love your kids unconditionally.