[graystar55]

My husband did not tell me prior to our marriage that he and his daughter slept together until she was 15, I had seen what I deemed inappropriate behavior (such as snuggling, walking arm in arm, just not your normal father/daugher stuff)
She told me about three years ago,and after that, we were the three of us out and they were like a May/December romance (she is 27)
Again this weekend (she does not live in this town) we were at her house and she said the same thing, this time in his presence. I have told him 99% of father's don't sleep with the daughter.
His wife wanted nothing to do with him, so he allowed her into his bed.
The debate, which is on the verge of ending this 5 year marriage, because he won't tell her it was not right. She told me I was jealous of the relationship.
I just don't feel it was the correct thing to do and I think he need to tell her that it should not have happened.
She would not scream on the roof top the three back to back abortions that she had, but this seem to be just fine for both of them.

He thinks I am over reacting to this... What does everyone else think?
Lynda

[ScottGem]

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

His wife wanted nothing to do with him, so he allowed her into his bed.

Let's get this straight. We aren't talking about about sleeping in the same bed, but a sexual relationship, correct?

A sexual relationship between a father and daughter is not only morally wrong, but illegal. If it is found out, he could be prosecuted under the law. Any man who did this is mentally sick.

If it was just a matter of sleeping in the same bed with no sexual intimacy, it was still not right, but there may have been extenuating circumstances that we are not aware of.

[Invicta]

In the case of the father allowing his daughter to sleeping with him in his bed because his wife "would not have anything to do with him". This is actually a circumstance where the man has lost "consortium" with his wife and is substituting his daughter for the absence of his wife. Even if actual sexual conduct does not occur the message is unhealthy here. H is "spousifying" his daughter. Instead of having the natural specialness of a father daughter relationship with the normal restrictions that entails, a boundary has been crossed caused by the vacuum created by the absence of relationship with her mother. Children are vulnerable to being drawn in to meet their parents emotional needs. Again even if there is no sex involved this is called EMOTIONAL INCEST. The father is crossing a boundary with his child. Mothers do this, too. Even if it is the child who initiates this the parent is responsible for keeping the appropriate boundary up. If a girl is "afraid" she can sleep with a light on, not in her father's bed.