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    dawnmaree's Avatar
    dawnmaree Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 25, 2011, 12:40 PM
    Please help me with this breakup, it's complicated
    So my boyfriend of only one month broke up with me a couple of days ago. It was pretty unexpected considering two weeks before hand he asked me to move in with him and I did. Our relationship became quite much way too fast. Before me he had a girlfriend of over a year who I found out he was engaged to, so obviously their relationship was very intense. But.. She had alcohol problems, they constantly fought, none of his friends or really family liked her, she lied to him about many things, and me and him have never had any of those problems. He broke up with me because he said he couldn't stop loving her, and felt bad being in a relationship with me when he thought about her more. I'm pretty sure she wants him back so I feel really miserable and helpless, and I want to know if there is anything I can do to even try to win him back, because I know he will be happier with me in the long run. When we broke up I feel like I was getting mixed reactions from him as at times he seemed to be considering still marrying her but at other times seemed to think when he 'sorted his life out' he would give us another chance.
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #2

    Apr 25, 2011, 01:31 PM
    I would not encourage you to try and pursue this relationship any longer, sounds to me that you were in fact a rebound for this guy. You don't know that he would be happier with you in the long run. I know you certainly wouldn't be happy. Why? Because you know in your heart of hearts he will always want her... how can any relationship be a happy one if one of the party is thinking and longing to be with someone else?

    You may be able to give him a lot more than she can, so save it for someone that deserves it! You need to suck it up and brave it. You will get over him, it will take time but be strong!
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #3

    Apr 25, 2011, 01:33 PM
    I question how devastating this could be for being with him such a small period. Moving in after a couple weeks, in my opinion, was a big mistake. You just need to move on from this, you were obviously the rebound and now he has noticed that since you are wanting to get serious, he doesn't want to end up hurting you. So say thank you ad walk away, do your life elsewear.

    Good luck,
    Javi
    southamerica's Avatar
    southamerica Posts: 667, Reputation: 400
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    #4

    Apr 25, 2011, 01:37 PM

    This guy doesn't need to be in any relationships right now, least of all with someone brand new.

    Even if he were completely convinced he didn't want to be with his ex (which isn't the case), he still has some healing and soul-searching to do. He's really confused right now, and I give him some credit because he knows that he needs to sort things out.

    You should walk away, let him sort through his mess, and enjoy your life in a more baggage-free environment. I wish you the best of luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Apr 25, 2011, 02:38 PM

    Too Much Too fast, crash and burn. You couldn't replace what he had, and he still feels he has unfinished business with his ex. That makes you his unsuccessful rebound, and as you see it didn't take him long to realize his mistake.

    Leave him alone.
    Sumitkumar7266's Avatar
    Sumitkumar7266 Posts: 91, Reputation: 48
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    #6

    Apr 26, 2011, 12:26 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dawnmaree View Post
    I'm pretty sure she wants him back so I feel really miserable and helpless, and I want to know if there is anything I can do to even try to win him back, because I know he will be happier with me in the long run.
    Don't do the same mistake again.. How you know that he will be happy with you in long run.. He is not happy with you now.. He should be alone because he is confused.. He is leaving one gal for another who is not with him.. They broke up and when he started the relation with you.. he should be committed to you.. And you,how can you spoil your life after knowing everything of him.. This relationship is of only one month and you accepted everything he demanded.. I think you are madly in love with him.. Just give some tym to yourself and leave him ASAP.. I don't think you will be happy with him in long run..
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #7

    Apr 26, 2011, 12:56 AM

    He's not over the ex-you are his rebound-sorry,but you chalk this up to experience.

    At least you know now-sooner is always better than later.
    ken007nielsen's Avatar
    ken007nielsen Posts: 288, Reputation: 211
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    #8

    Apr 26, 2011, 04:08 AM
    I know there's a saying that you should 'Strike while the iron is hot' but damn girl, you really followed that to the letter.

    This is a no go, he had some heart-ache and used you for his convience.

    In future relationships, don't do that. Get to know a fella first.
    The longer you wait with a relationship, the better you get to know the significant other and thus reducing your chances of getting hurt.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #9

    Apr 26, 2011, 07:25 PM
    Be happy you only invested two months.
    The same things happens to many others after
    Years with a person.

    It hurts , I know , but you got off light.

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