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    determinedmom's Avatar
    determinedmom Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 7, 2011, 09:55 PM
    My 11 year old wants to be adopted by my husband do I need her bio dads permission?
    Do I need my daughters biological fathers permission for my husband to adopt her even though she wants this for herself? My 11 year old daughter wants to be adopted by my husband who is not her biological father but has been the only man she knows as a father and has supported her since she was 3 years old. She does know who her biological father is but wants nothing to do with him. Recently she informed him that she wants to be adopted by my husband and he told her no way but he is thousands of dollars behind in child support and has had nothing to do with her since she was a toddler and has a drinking habit. My husband is military and we don't live in our hometown where her biological father lives but he has always known where we have lived and was welcomed to see her and be part of her life but he made the decision not to. What should I do in this situation?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Apr 8, 2011, 06:00 AM

    You really need to do a LOT more research on this... its not as simple as you both think it is... nor as cheap as you think.

    It takes a court action... and permission of the birth father if he's alive. It would be rare for a court to do it without the permission of BOTH living birth parents.

    You will have to hire a lawyer and it will take time, and it will likely get expensive. This isn't like buying a car or even a house... its far more complicated.
    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
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    #3

    Apr 8, 2011, 06:06 AM

    I have been through this.

    Yes, you will need an attorney to handle it for you. The court will send a communication to the biological father. If he objects, then your attorney can advise you as to how to proceed from there.

    If the biological father does not reply, then the court will (in my opinion) probably grant it since the biological father has not supported you or his child in so long.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #4

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:40 AM

    Have you offered to fly the father out for visitation or pay the costs of the trip? Since he is objecting at this time then your going to have to prove him unfit and a danger to the child, can you do that?
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #5

    Apr 8, 2011, 12:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by determinedmom View Post
    Do I need my daughters biological fathers permission for my husband to adopt her even though she wants this for herself? ...
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    Have you offered to flu the father out for visitation or pay the costs of the trip? Since he is objecting at this time then your going to have to prove him unfit and a danger to the child, can you do that?
    Huh? What trip? I don't see where OP said the father has objected. Are you referring to something from another thread?
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #6

    Apr 8, 2011, 03:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by AK lawyer View Post
    Yes.



    Huh? What trip? I don't see where OP said the father has objected. Are you referring to something from another thread?
    This part here shows objection,
    (quote):
    Recently she informed him that she wants to be adopted by my husband and he told her no way but he is thousands of dollars behind in child support and has had nothing to do with her since she was a toddler and has a drinking habit. (end quote)

    This implies distance between the NCP and custodial parent,
    (quote):
    My husband is military and we don't live in our hometown where her biological father lives but he has always known where we have lived and was welcomed to see her and be part of her life but he made the decision not to. (end quote)


    Note: changed flu to fly (typo)
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Apr 8, 2011, 03:27 PM

    An adoption requires the permission of both parents in all US states. However, there are provisions for situations where the parent has disappeared, refuses to agree or just ignores the request. Those provisions vary by state.

    Another possibility here, since the father owes back support is to forgive the arrears if he agrees to the adoption. Make sure he is aware that his support obligation ends with an adoption. But the bottom line here is you NEED an attorney to prepare the paperwork. So retain an attorney and the attorney will advise you what you need to do to get court approval.

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