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Scotty25 · Apr 6, 2011, 05:11 PM

I recently had an affair with a married woman and after trying for a month to make it work with her husband, he filed for divorce and she and I got together. Shortly after that, she became pregnant with me, and at the 12 week stage of pregnancy, she decided she would go back to her husband for one last attempt to make it work with him. I'm worried I won't get much visitation, child won't have my last name, or I'll end up getting hammered with child support if I fight for custody as lose. Even though she makes over 100k a year and I make 25k.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 6, 2011, 05:23 PM

The women will have the choice of what last name to use.

Depending on where you live, often if the women is still married, her husband will be assumed to be the father of the child legally.

The child will not have your last name, unless the women decides to.

You will not get custody unless she is unfit and nothing here seems to make it appear she is. So you may file to prove paternity ( if your state allows) and try and get a joint custody, but of course most likely you would be paying some child support *** and it is not getting hammared, it is merely paying for the choice to have a child you made.

Scotty25 · Apr 6, 2011, 05:30 PM

Does the fact that the husband has been self checked in at a mental institute in the past month, and her indecisions on relationships and job offerings show any kind of help towards me fighting for custody? I really want to raise my own child

Fr_Chuck · Apr 6, 2011, 05:43 PM

Her husband unless he is proven a threat to the child will have little effect

Scotty25 · Apr 6, 2011, 05:53 PM

So there's nothing I can do to help my case? I really want to be the one in main care for my kid. This is in the state of Kansas if that helps with any of your answers...

AK lawyer · Apr 6, 2011, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by Scotty25

... shortly after that, she became pregnant with me, ...

If she got pregnant with you, that would make her your mother. :p

But if she got pregnant by you, that would make you an adulterer.

Any way, don't count on getting custody just so you won't have to pay child support. It isn't going to happen.

Scotty25 · Apr 7, 2011, 12:55 AM

No its called me wanting to raise my kid.. and fear that if I even try to get more custody than she wants me to.. that she'll somehow screw me over and I won't ever see it. Its my kid.. I want to be the father and raise it. Not let someone else raise it.

kcomissiong · Apr 7, 2011, 08:49 AM

You gave up your options when you chose to sleep with a married woman and gave them all to her. As AK Lawyer and Fr_Chuck have said, the ball is in her court.