Check out some similar questions!

PirandelloLuigi · Feb 17, 2011, 12:33 PM

Hi friends, recently my girlfriend moved out of her moms place to get her own place and yesterday after only 10 days in her new place, she decided to break up with me. Her family did not like me and I think they kind of convinced her to leave me.

She kept saying to me that we don't understand each other and that I was not there for her when she needed me. Then she started to say that I am selfish, meanwhile all she spoke about was her business and her new apartment and totally forgetting our relationship.

Then she said that I should be seeing a girl that works 9 to 5 because she has a crazy schedule and works on week ends sometimes. She also kept saying that I tried to destroy her business and that I wanted her failure which is totally false. I always helped her with graphics and encouraged her when her business was in a slump.

This is our third break up and I feel like it's hopeless, I feel like she just looks for excuses to break up and she is really quick to bail out on me. This coming from a girl that once wanted to marry me and buy a home together. I also busted her lying to me like 3 weeks ago, I asked her who she was talking to and she said her sister in law, instead I saw the name on the phone and it was a guy. So I asked her again and she became red and said it's my client and we are friends now. I am suspecting she cheated on me with this guy or she was planning to dump me to go with him. She never spoke to clients on week ends as friends. She also kept saying that I did'nt have a business mentality so I could not understand her, so I think this client of hers had the business thinking she was looking for.

Anyhow I don't care anymore, I didn't yell at her for lying to me, but I told her I was dissapointed. It's kind of sad to see how relationships end so easily these days, I had a lot plans for the future with this girl and now it's just down the drain.

When I saw her the last time and she broke up, I told her to don't call me anymore
And leave me alone and that she used me, living at my place until she got her own place.
She had the keys of my place and she didn't pay any expenses while living there.

talaniman · Feb 17, 2011, 03:36 PM

You did the right thing finally. You can only give so much, and if they keep taking, without giving then, who can you blame? Both!! You allowed it by giving your heart to a stranger who doesn't deserve it.

PirandelloLuigi · Feb 18, 2011, 10:15 AM

Thanks Tal, your right, I feel better today, I thought I was going to be depressed again and not be able to function, but I guess because it's the 3rd time in 10 months she tried to end it, enough is enough, I won't try to convince her to change her mind, I will just let her go. I took some sleeping pills last night and I had a great night of sleep and I am able to work. I told her to don't call me anymore. I am going to strict no contact. I don't get her, breaking up 2 days after valentines and on her birthday. Telling me I got her roses and chocolats just because was valentines, not because I love her...

mmresd · Feb 23, 2011, 10:51 AM

Hey man, be thankful that she had the courtesy of breakig up with you before involving herself with someone else, and most importantly, involving you in a three way street. She is out of your life, she is clearly confused as to what she wants and is probably better for you to back away.

Good luck,

Javi

PirandelloLuigi · Feb 23, 2011, 01:24 PM

Your probably right, she did sound confused, and she been confused since at least 4 months, I will disappear from her life and I have been doing no contact since she broke up, deleted all contacts, even from my cell. I am healing faster and she won't be messing with my head anymore, I have a life to live. Thanks for the advice Javi.

pandead · Feb 23, 2011, 02:23 PM

I like the "enough is enough" moments. It means you are ready to get out of it and start a new life. Good luck man.

PirandelloLuigi · Mar 3, 2011, 10:00 AM

Hey guys, I need some advice, new developments, after 14 days straight of no sign of life, she finally budged yesterday.
I got a long text message from her saying: "that she feels bad about the breakup and she knows I am hurting and she is hurting too and she will always remember the good times we had and she still thinks we cannot be together because we don't understand each other. You are a sweet goodlooking guy and you will find a special girl.
Then she said I hope you understand, I will always be there for you, you can call or text me anytime...

I didn't reply , what do you think she is trying to say by these words? You think she is trying
Ease her guilt and trying to make a friendship?

kctiger · Mar 3, 2011, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

hey guys, i need some advice, new developments, after 14 days straight of no sign of life, she finaly budged yesterday.
i got a long text message from her saying: "that she feels bad about the breakup and she knows i am hurting and she is hurting too and she will always remember the good times we had and she still thinks we cannot be together because we don't understand each other. You are a sweet goodlooking guy and you will find a special girl.
Then she said i hope you understand, i will always be there for you, you can call or text me anytime...

I didn't reply , what do you think she is trying to say by these words? you think she is trying
ease her guilt and trying to make a friendship?

I think she is saying goodbye in her own way, officially.

You would do best to not reply and continue moving on and healing. I don't think she is opening up a line of communication for a friendship. Those words, to me, mean she is truly done. I'm sure saying that also helps her validate the break up and feel better about how it ended. Really doesn't matter though.

talaniman · Mar 3, 2011, 10:17 AM

Don't fall for that friendzone offer, its bogus. It would relieve her guilt at dumping you, but gives you false hope, and keeps you confused in the meantime. For you, a waste of time. Your priority is to leave her alone, get your head and heart back in the proper perspective, and live a happy life. Not be an option for her.

PirandelloLuigi · Mar 3, 2011, 12:11 PM

I totally agree with you Tal, I think it's an attempt to remove some of her guilt, because she admitted that she is hurting a lot.
And why would I want to text her or talk to her? Doesn't make any sense, what would I gain? Being her comforting safety pillow? I been doing full no contact and been healing fine, this text message she sentme just messed me up, but I won't let it change my focus, which is healing.

PirandelloLuigi · Mar 3, 2011, 12:17 PM

Yeah I agree KC, probably for her a way of getting closure, although I believe you can lose attraction after a break up, I don't think losing feelings or love for someone can be done that quickly, but whatever happens like you said it does not matter, her interest level now is at zero and talking to her or texting her won't do anything good. I just will disappear off the face of the earth and she will never hear from me again.