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Ironman1130 · Feb 25, 2011, 09:15 AM

First off let me start by saying I appreciate every answer no answer is a wrong answer or right answer being that they're just opinions.. me and my ex girlfriend of 3 years recently broke off after I cheated on her.. we've spoken to each other hang out with each other you know casual things.. before our break up we were extremely serious about our future together (marriage,children etc.).. she's told me she met someone else and that she still loves me and that she still sees us in the future.. she also explained to me that she couldn't take me back because her friends would think of her as a fool.. she recently stopped talking to me and it's killing me (as a man that's hard to say).. I know a few of you are going to say ONCE A DOG ALWAYS A DOG.. it was an honest mistake and since then I have deleted Facebook,emails,changed my number,EVERYTHING possible to show her she's the one I want the one I need.. am I doing something wrong?

pandead · Feb 25, 2011, 09:51 AM

You're not doing anything wrong, you are just paying for your mistakes. I don't know about "the dog" but I do believe in "once a cheater always a cheater." You cheated, she left you, moved on and now is happy with someone else. You should move on too. Trust me, if she was "the one" you wouldn't cheat on her in the first place.

Ironman1130 · Feb 25, 2011, 10:24 AM

Ok thank you for your input it is much appreciated.. a mistake it was indeed lol.. but thank you

joypulv · Feb 25, 2011, 10:35 AM

A mistake is when your hand accidentally brushes against her breasts fully dressed. You can't accidentally put an out of the way body part, under at least one layer and usually 2 layers of clothing, inside another out of the way body part.

If you were drunk and it happened once and you barely remember what happened, that still isn't a mistake. It might be poor judgment though.

TIME and an exemplary life are how you prove yourself to someone. Actions, not words.

Ironman1130 · Feb 25, 2011, 10:46 AM

Lol @usually 2 layers.. but seriously I appreciate the input.. as we speak I'm already in a better mood.. Its just sometimes it catches me off guard and I just can't focus on anything.. I've always respected her wanting her space.. but like man we were just talking 2 days ago

Cat1864 · Feb 25, 2011, 10:52 AM

I am glad you have learned from your mistake. The problem is she learned a lesson, too-that she can't trust you. It is a lesson that she may never unlearn.

To be honest, she was right in stopping communications. She needs to move on and let go of the past and she needs to be careful that she doesn't end up emotionally cheating on her new boyfriend (if their relationship has gotten that far.)

You are doing the right things now with one exception. You need to let go and heal. At this point it sounds like you are still trying to hold on to her and what you had.

I know it isn't easy and it hurts to think of what you have lost. Turn that around and see what you have gained: A new understanding of yourself, a greater understanding of what a relationship means to you, and knowledge of what happens if you don't take care of it. Take all of that with you as you move forward.

Take care of yourself and see the opportunities ahead instead of longing for the ones you missed.

Ironman1130 · Feb 25, 2011, 12:29 PM

Yea it's slowly growing on me but I'll eventually get over it,everything happens for a reason... Thank you for your input

roxypox · Feb 25, 2011, 02:40 PM

I agree with cat. It does seem that you have both recognized the mistake you've made and youmight have learned from it. Which is a good thing in your case... now that you're paying for it you might learn to not make the same mistake twice.

I'm not going to say once a cheater, always a cheater.. because I do think that people can recognize such an act and avoid doing it twice. In your case you might learn that you should not cheat in your next relationship.

My opinion on the matter, however, is that once you cheat on the person you're with it does send a message... you're not as committed as you think you are. Once you venture out of a relationship and cheat you change everything.

What you should do for yourself is to heal and move on.

On her part. If she feels its right for HER to not have contact with YOU. Then you need to respect that.You need to give her space. After all, the hard reality for you is that you are no longer together and she has to be allowed to choose whom she has contact with.

You should do yourself the favor of moving on. Like you say. Maybe everything does happen for a reason and maybe in the end it turns out that this experience in yourlife can lead you on a different path.