[_helpless_]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and half.. when we first got together he couldn't keep his hands off me. We did it everyday. As soon as we moved in together it slowly started to decrease.. now its maybe a couple times a month but every time I practically have to beg him to have sex with me.. I've tried spicing things up, role playing, lingerie, dirty talk.. everything.. nothing works.. he's always told me I'm the best he's ever had so why doesn't he want me? I've never had this problem before. He always talks about sex and how its so important and how he could never stay with a girl who didn't have sex with him.. so then why do I have to basically force to him have sex with me?

[Enigma1999]

How old are the both of you?

[88sunflower]

I am also wondering how old you are.

What is your life like? Sometimes work or stress in general can really play a role in someone's sex drive. Does he work long hours?

[Tammy_Gray]

Don't beg and don't ask just take what you want, I had the same problem with my boyfreind and that's what I did and wow it works wonders... if he says no just say "i didn't give you a choice did i?"and then laugh... he'll soon realize underneath that asking and beggeng is a dominate take charge woman and I bet he'll love it and want more ;)

[CravenMorhead]

Tammy gray. If there is any doubt of the posters age, as in this case, we need to verify they're over 18 and can't answer until this has been verified.

[Synnen]

Any posts after this that happen before the OP gives an age will be deleted.

[_helpless_]

I am 20 and he is 26.. we both work day shifts.. he works 4 days a week from 6-230 and I work 4 days also from 7-3.. We never go out anywhere anymore.. he wants to stay home and play video games which is cool sometimes but every once and a while I want to do something with him whether its going out to eat or sitting at home watching a movie together.. but he's never interested in going out unless his brother comes with.. and every time I kiss him hell give me a quick little peck then hurry and turn his head before I can kiss him again. It never changes... I don't know what to do

[CravenMorhead]

Have you talked to him? What are his reasons?

Also, please take an extra moment to compose your posts. Chat speak, i.e. before and anywhere, is not allowed on this board and is grounds for the question being deleted.

I would say move on. Quite throwing good money after bad so to speak. He does not seem interested in you any more. The fact that he requires his brother to come along when you go out is a HUGE red flag. The fact that he is constantly in front of his computer/console is another big problem.

He is comfortable and thinks he has won you. This sense of complacency causes him to believe that no more effort is required. You're already his so he doesn't need to work on the relationship. This is wrong.

So what you can do is based upon what you want.
1). If you want to stay and try to work this through. You need to talk with him. Lay down the law. Tell him what your expectations are and what you want. Do this in terms of yourself not him. Don't say he is lazy and a video game addict. Tell him that you're feeling neglected and your needs aren't being met.

This has about a 50/50 chance of going wrong and ending the relationship. It will get you on the same page at the very least.

2). It isn't worth it. This is the option that I think is better for your sanity. Take a moment and think. This will not change easily. Is it worth the time and effort? Will he back slide? Is this a sign of things to come?

I honestly believe that he is taking this relationship for granted and you need to leave this. It will turn toxic fast. For the sake of your sanity.

Regardless of what you decide I wish you the best of luck.

[Enigma1999]

I would say move on. Quite throwing good money after bad so to speak. He does not seem interested in you any more. The fact that he requires his brother to come along when you go out is a HUGE red flag. The fact that he is constantly in front of his computer/console is another big problem.

He is comfortable and thinks he has won you. This sense of complacency causes him to believe that no more effort is required. You're already his so he doesn't need to work on the relationship. This is wrong..

So you think that she should just throw in the towel so quickly? Is this what YOU would do in a relationship?

I disagree.

I think that he may be oblivious. He may not realize whathe is doing wrong, if she has never guided him.

How will one know to change if not spoken to about it?

I don't see "HUGE" red flag here. I see lack of communication on HER part, therfore he may think everything is peachy keen.

I just don't understand why people have to jump to conclusions by saying, "I would leave" OR "you should leave".

What ever happened to trying to work things out with one another?

C'mon!

[CravenMorhead]

So you think that she should just throw in the towel so quickly?? Is this what YOU would do in a relationship??

No. I fought and lost each time.

I think that he may be oblivious. He may not realize whathe is doing wrong, if she has never guided him.

How will one know to change if not spoken to about it??

I don't see "HUGE" red flag here. I see lack of communication on HER part, therfore he may think everything is peachy keen.

I just don't understand why people have to jump to conclusions by saying, "I would leave" OR "you should leave".

What ever happened to trying to work things out with one another?

If I may. In this case it is the sum of what is going on. Year and a half, 20 & 26, He's obsessed with video games, intimacy is completely gone, and she's begging for everything.

I know you probably read my entire post, but only quoted a part of if it, you will see I did suggest for her to talk with her guy. Figure out what the hell is going on. See if she can jump start things.

My analysis and opinion is that he's checked out of the relationship. She can get him back and work things out. It depends on the how and why. Is she just a "Call of Duty" widow or is it more serious? I way I figure it here is that she can whip him into shape again and things will be good. But things might cool down again and he could back slide into his old comfortable habits.

I don't see that this guy realizes what he has, and I don't think he is going to. I think it could just be prolonging something that is already painful for the woman.

I am all for fighting for something, but she really needs to talk to him to figure out if it is worth it. I just don't see that it is.

[Enigma1999]

I know you probably read my entire post, but only quoted a part of if it, you will see I did suggest for her to talk with her guy. Figure out what the hell is going on. See if she can jump start things.

Yes. I did read your entire post and yes, I only quoted what I didn't agree with.

It almost seemed as if you were making assumptions and jumping to conclusions about something that WE don't even know in it's entirety.

Of course these are just your opinions.

I don't condone the video games being played on a regular basis. There should be a happy medium.

I also do believe that she needs to communicate that she desires attention from him.

Bottom line... communication is where it has to start.

[CravenMorhead]

I could be reading into this more then what we know. That is completely possibly.

The video game thing here is what worries me the most. Especially when she tries to interact with him. I have played a lot of video games in my life. A LOT. I could always be distracted. I knew when to put them down. He doesn't, and I am not sure he'll learn until he see the result of it. Be it her leaving or her ALMOST leaving.

You're right that there needs to be a balance. He is balancing his desires and wishes more so than the balance of his relationship. He is being selfish with his time and affections. I have doubts he will change. Just based on what she said.

Maybe I am relating these to people I know, maybe unjustly so. *shrug*

[Enigma1999]

Maybe I am relating these to people I know, maybe unjustly so. *shrug*

All in all, you were just stating your opinion.

I can be an argumentative little girl I suppose. No harm.

I just hope she communicates with him is all. Some people may need guidance. He may be one of those people...