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    my_love_j's Avatar
    my_love_j Posts: 13, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Jan 21, 2011, 04:06 PM
    Relationship
    My boyfriend and me have been going out for two years we're long distance so it makes it harder I found out on Facebook that he was cheating I asked he about he lied at first then finally told the truth I keep asking him if he wants to take a break we can but he keeps saying he loves me and wants us to be together 4 life I don't know what 2 do should I stay or leave??
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #2

    Jan 21, 2011, 04:36 PM

    I read in another post that you are about 16. Is your boyfriend the same age?

    Long distance relationships are very difficult. Were you always long distance? How much time do you spend together? If you are around 16 and have been going out for 2 years, I'm worried that you haven't really explored yourself and relationships enough to make a life-long decision. My parents always advised me to finish college and get started in a career before I chose whom I wanted to marry. The idea was to allow myself to grow up, mature, get to know myself, etc. I had a 3-year relationship in high school. It was a great relationship, but when I look back on that compared to who and where I am today - it's a world of difference. I'm 28 now, just got married a few months ago, and have no doubt I chose the right man.

    I think he may be telling you that he wants to be together forever because he's afraid of losing you. He cheated and lied to you. Is that the type of guy you really want? Don't you deserve better?
    Mimip's Avatar
    Mimip Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 21, 2011, 04:46 PM
    If he's willing to cheat once, there is no garuntee he won't do it again. If you decide to stay with him, you should take into account the fact that this may happen again. In my opinion, I think he's only saying he loves you for life is because he's sorry he got caught.
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    my_love_j Posts: 13, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Jan 21, 2011, 04:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Looking View Post
    I read in another post that you are about 16. Is your boyfriend the same age?

    Long distance relationships are very difficult. Were you always long distance? How much time do you spend together? If you are around 16 and have been going out for 2 years, I'm worried that you haven't really explored yourself and relationships enough to make a life-long decision. My parents always advised me to finish college and get started in a career before I chose who I wanted to marry. The idea was to allow myself to grow up, mature, get to know myself, etc. I had a 3-year relationship in high school. It was a great relationship, but when I look back on that compared to who and where I am today - it's a world of difference. I'm 28 now, just got married a few months ago, and have no doubt I chose the right man.

    I think he may be telling you that he wants to be together forever because he's afraid of losing you. He cheated and lied to you. Is that the type of guy you really want? Don't you deserve better?
    Yes he is the same age I get what your saying but I don't want to break up with him then lose him 4ever he says our love can withstand anything and never give up

    Quote Originally Posted by Mimip View Post
    if he's willing to cheat once, there is no garuntee he won't do it again. if you decide to stay with him, you should take into account the fact that this may happen again. in my opinion, i think he's only saying he loves you for life is because he's sorry he got caught.
    He is sorry but his dad had just died and he said he just took comfort in her
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #5

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by my_love_j View Post
    Yes he is the same age i get what your saying but i dont want to break up with him then lose him 4ever he says our love can withstand anything and never give up
    I would be very careful if I were you. You are long-distance. You don't really know what he is doing, and he's already cheated once. You are both so young. The odds are not in your favor. You didn't answer the questions about how long you have been long-distance or how often you actually see him. Is this basically a Facebook romance?

    Whatever you decide, I think the best thing you can do is prepare for your future. That includes doing well in high school, going to college or getting some type of specialized training, and eventually finding a good job doing something you enjoy. You have so much time left for romance. Don't make that your only focus now.
    my_love_j's Avatar
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    #6

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Looking View Post
    I would be very careful if I were you. You are long-distance. You don't really know what he is doing, and he's already cheated once. You are both so young. The odds are not in your favor. You didn't answer the questions about how long you have been long-distance or how often you actually see him. Is this basically a Facebook romance?

    Whatever you decide, I think the best thing you can do is prepare for your future. That includes doing well in high school, going to college or getting some type of specialized training, and eventually finding a good job doing something you enjoy. You have so much time left for romance. Don't make that your only focus now.
    Oh well we've never met before so we've been long distance 4 2 years and I don't see him.its actually not even a Facebook romance because we didn't meet that way and we don't talk on there but anyway I know I should plan my future prob. Without him its just hard to let go
    Mimip's Avatar
    Mimip Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:13 PM
    If that's the case, maybe you should ask his friends or people close to him about the affair. Being young as you two seem, it's not totally likely that he's telling the whole truth (no offence).
    my_love_j's Avatar
    my_love_j Posts: 13, Reputation: 4
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    #8

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mimip View Post
    if that's the case, maybe you should ask his friends or people close to him about the affair. being young as you two seem, it's not totally likely that he's telling the whole truth (no offence).
    The thing about that is that he won't let me know any of his friends
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #9

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by my_love_j View Post
    the thing about that is that he wont let me know any of his friends
    I'm sorry but I think he's playing with you. It's been 2 years, you haven't met, you don't know any of his friends, and he's making promises he won't keep. Don't believe him. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to him anymore. Get more involved in school. Make new friends. Date guys you actually know. Most importantly, do well in school and make sure you are going to be able to take care of yourself when you are in your 20's.
    my_love_j's Avatar
    my_love_j Posts: 13, Reputation: 4
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    #10

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Looking View Post
    I'm sorry but I think he's playing with you. It's been 2 years, you haven't met, you don't know any of his friends, and he's making promises he won't keep. Don't believe him. If I were you, I wouldn't talk to him anymore. Get more involved in school. Make new friends. Date guys you actually know. Most importantly, do well in school and make sure you are going to be able to take care of yourself when you are in your 20's.
    Well ill try thanks 4 your help it really has made me think
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #11

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by my_love_j View Post
    well ill try thanks 4 ur help it really has made me think
    I've done my job, then. ;) I can tell you that things will work out better if you put your energies in the right direction. I know it seems like boys are all important now, but if you really concentrate on making a good life you will have some great men to choose from when the time is right. By great, I mean honest men that will treat you right. Good luck.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #12

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:28 PM

    You have not met him in person, nor does it sound like you will be able to anytime soon, he has cheated (once that you know of) and lied to you about it, he took comfort in another girl when he could have called you... the girl who is suppose to be his girlfriend (do you talk on the phone at all?), you have been talking with him for two years and he won't let you know any of his friends.

    If your best friend came to you in this situation, what would you tell her?
    my_love_j's Avatar
    my_love_j Posts: 13, Reputation: 4
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    #13

    Jan 21, 2011, 05:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by DoulaLC View Post
    You have not met him in person, nor does it sound like you will be able to anytime soon, he has cheated (once that you know of) and lied to you about it, he took comfort in another girl when he could have called you....the girl who is suppose to be his girlfriend (do you talk on the phone at all?), you have been talking with him for two years and he won't let you know any of his friends.

    If your best friend came to you in this situation, what would you tell her?
    Well he did talk to me about it and we do talk like everyday yea I get your point rite there I would prob. Tell her to leave him.. . gosh this is still so hard though when the shoe is on the other foot

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