[jzsprinter]

Are girls into shy, quiet, reserved guys? I'm able to open up to people and be very social and friendly with them but I just have trouble taking that first step. I've only had 1 girlfriend ever and I feel like since she was much more outgoing, she's used to approaching shy people and liked talking to me because I was shy.

[kctiger]

How old are you?

[jzsprinter]

18

[kctiger]

Here's the deal my friend. Girls aren't a general category when it comes to likes and dislikes. Sure, you will probably have the opportunity to meet more girls if you opened up a little, which takes practice, but that doesn't mean a girl will like you because you aren't afraid to talk. You are young and it takes time to develop the nerve to go up to a girl and make up an opening "line" (which, by the way, is a stupid and cliché thing to say). I can offer you tons of advice, but I'm no expert. It is really about being comfortable with yourself. Never go into a situation just because you think a girl is hot. Practice talking to girls, and guys for that matter, just to be able to have a conversation with strangers.

[joypulv]

I'm a socially outgoing woman who fell for a shy quiet but friendly man.
I have nothing against outgoing men, but I despise guys with lines.

[jzsprinter]

Thanks for the answer. I just feel like I never get a chance with girls because I don't know how to take the first step.

[talaniman]

Like KC says, learn to be able to talk to any one, and taking that first step with a female is a piece of cake.

Next time you are in a store, make eye contact and smile and say hello, hi, how's things, just a friendly greeting and go about your business.

After a while, it becomes second nature, and your confidence will grow. Its only as big a deal as you make it.

[jzsprinter]

Comment on talaniman's post

Thank you for your answer. I think I just need to work on that flaw and turn it into a strength. But aren't there girls who like talking to shy guys though? Is it wrong to hope to meet girls like that? That would surely make it easier.

Comment on kctiger's post

Thank you! Looks like I have some work to do. But aren't there girls who like talking to shy guys though? Is it wrong to hope to meet girls like that? That would surely make it easier.

[talaniman]

But aren't there girls who like talking to shy guys though? Is it wrong to hope to meet girls like that? That would surely make it easier.

Yes there are girls who will talk to a shy guy, and no its not wrong to hope to meet one, but lets be real, what are the chances of actually running into one? Sure you can wait, but where do those girls hang out? That's what all the single guys want to know, an easier way to meet girls.

Get your people skills together, and you will have more options than just waiting for a female who likes shy guys. You may as well enjoy yourself, while you're waiting, right?

If by a female who talks to shy guys you mean one that will tell you what to do, and how to do it, then be careful what you ask for shy guy, that may not be as much fun as you think!!

[jzsprinter]

Those are some great points. I wasn't implying a female who tells you what to do and how to do it. My ex girlfriend probably liked talking to me at first because she knew I was shy and liked that. I'm still extremely hurt by her leaving me though...

[jakester]

Comment on talaniman's post

Thank you for your answer. I think I just need to work on that flaw and turn it into a strength. But aren't there girls who like talking to shy guys though? Is it wrong to hope to meet girls like that? That would surely make it easier.

Comment on kctiger's post

Thank you! Looks like I have some work to do. But aren't there girls who like talking to shy guys though? Is it wrong to hope to meet girls like that? That would surely make it easier.

Jz - listen man, don't look at the fact that you are a little reserved as a flaw... everybody is different, man. You could strengthen that part of yourself but there's no saying that to be a social butterfly is a strength and to be quiet and reserved is a flaw. Some people are always talking... talk talk talk and don't have **** to say, really. It's good to be a little of both: able to speak and share your mind and able to be still and listen. Both are strengths.

Tal is right, "learn to be able to talk to anyone." In order to be able to do that well you have to be observant. You also have to read about different topics so that when a conversation happens, you'll have something to say. Maybe even today you'll be out someplace and you'll notice a girl... a simple smile followed by a hello is a huge start. And that's all that you really have to do. Practice that and the next step will be to try to start a conversation. Don't think too hard about what to say or else you'll come across awkward and nervous... be you, man.

Lastly, you can't take rejection personally. Not all people are that interesting and fun to talk to... girls with a mean scowl on their face have insecurity problems. When you attempt to socialize with a girl, if she isn't very fun to talk to, keep moving on. And when you meet a girl who is fun to talk to and is friendly, feed off her energy and go with it.

Just practice and set aside your fear... remember what Yoda said:

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering"

[slapshot_oi]

Going of tal and jakester...

Smiling is super-important for making new friends--that is, a genuine smile--it's body language for "hi, I like you, you make me happy", it's the simplest, and most effective, non-verbal compliment.

And, according to lady friends of mine, smiling increases handsomeness.

[jzsprinter]

Thank you. You had a lot of great points. I just feel like something I'm doing or some part of me is flawed because this is the one area of my life that I've had success in only once. I just have trouble taking the first step.