[talaniman]

Don't be confused as we all get into things we are not ready for and can't handle. I think if you just chalk this up to experience and keep working on your own personal issues, then next time you will do better having gone through this and survived.

Never let fear stop you from trying, no matter what happens.

[HeartTrips]

I don't know why allie wanted me to list what I had.

It kills me to look back and see how I watched her pull away, and could not see anything for what it was. I don't know how I could have been so blind.

U know I'm over the relationship,

Im just being hard on myself for letting this fall apart, I don't know how I could have let this happen.

[talaniman]

I don't know why allie wanted me to list what I had.

I think she was trying to show you that you must have had something going on that was good about you for the girl to get with you in the first place.

Stop being so negative, and fatalistic. Relationships fail all the time for many reasons, even when you are doing all the right things. Humans are that way, as what we think is good, is not so good, and sometimes we just change our mind, feelings, and attitude.

Keep living, as you will experience being with someone, and though they are good to you, and good for you, your feelings can change.

Then you will understand, and not take it personally. We all have issues that are unique to us, and whether we like it or not, others just can't handle us, and even in time don't want to.

Happens to us all, no matter what our issues maybe. Let go, and do better latter. Someone who can and wants To deal with you and your issues will be along. Keep your chin up fella. Your still learning how to deal with yourself.

[HeartTrips]

Thanks for the comments tal, I do appreciate.

I really messed up a good relationship and it stopped me cold in my tracks when she left me.

Its been 6 months now, and 17 days since I stopped texting her, I went a period of almost 50 days where I didn't text her,

I say this because looking back at these six months I just wish I hadn't done the calling her phone thing and texting profusely.

That's not me, I don't do those things yet I did them. That's not the kind of person I am.

I would do anything to have her back, a chance to be on my feet with a clear head and try it over again... God knows how much the relationship meant to me and how much my heart was in it.

[HeartTrips]

I still feel the same way, as my last post. It was everything I ever wanted and I fkd it up, I don't know why she could hang around for so long and now hate my guts, never wanting to speak to me again. She thinks I'm a stalker and that I totally manipulated her.

I'm not a stalker or manipulated her, I just know things would have been so different if I could have just made the right choices and been who I am today,

I don't know where to go from here, I lost everything I looked for in a woman, my dream. Everything reminds me of how special I had it and its as if I am crasy, like its not even true because how she feels now, how Im without her.

Im a good guy, big heart, I feel like I help these women so much, and then I get thrown to the side of the road, left with so much pain.


How do I get into a new relationship with this kind of past? I feel like I have no right to get into any kind of relationship because if the new girl met the old girl they wouldn't want anything to do with me... I made mistakes... the old relationship shouldn't have ended let alone get to the point where she is threatening to call the cops and believes the whole relationship was a big manipulation... church, restaurants, conversations, laughs, day trips, movies.


Does any women have any comments?

I can't believe how badly I screwed up,


If I couldn't make it work with her, how I am going to make it work with someone else? How do I go through that again?


I feel like a stranger in my own body, I feel that my truth isn't even the truth, I feel like everything I do now isn't what I should be doing, I feel so used and taken advantage of.

[Enigma1999]

does any women have any comments?

i can't believe how badly i screwed up,

First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's not very becoming.

Stop dwelling on what you HAD and start thinking about what you can HAVE. Take all of this as a learning lesson. Move forward. She doesn't want to have any thing to do with you. You said it yourself, she thinks you are stalking her and she has threatened to call the police. She is obviously scared of you. As a woman, that is a scary feeling to have.

Please leave her alone.

I know you don't want to hear any of this, but you need to let this woman go. You will have love again. You are young (29) and this isn't the only one out there.

Stop putting so much focus on her and focus on you. It's good that you have been reading up on relationships.

Once you are in a place where you feel comfortable, then put yourself out there to meet other women.

I had to reread this entire post, considering it has been a while since your original post. Reading through I noticed that you had financial problems? How is that now 6 months later?

[HeartTrips]

I get made out to be such a bad guy, its friggn bs. I made a mistake. But I'm such a bad guy, all the memories mean nothing, I didn't care or mean any of it. I didn't mean to make the mistakes. Yet it changed her feelings to the point where I'm such a bad guy

[Enigma1999]

i feel like a stranger in my own body, i feel that my truth isn't even the truth, i feel like everything i do now isn't what I should be doing, i feel so used and taken advantage of.

How do you feel taken advantage of?

I get made out to be such a bad guy, its friggn bs. I made a mistake. but im such a bad guy, all the memories mean nothing, I didn't care or mean any of it. I didn't mean to make the mistakes. yet it changed her feelings to the point where im such a bad guy

Dear, please quit posting new things over and over, I can't keep up with you. LOL Just calm down and answer my first two posts so that I can try to help you.

Thank you.

[HeartTrips]

Dear, please quit posting new things over and over, I can't keep up with you. LOL Just calm down and answer my first two posts so that I can try to help you.

Thank you.

Okay, I do appreciate your listening.

How do you feel taken advantage of??

I feel taken advantage many ways. I feel taken advantage of because of how she turned the tables on me after I made my mistake with the money situation. I feel taken advantage of because of how she wouldn't give me the time or day after she used me to make sure she had her life setup without me in it, as we had spent the previous nine months together everyday. I feel used by the different perspectives on life she took from being with me. With God, with relationships, with everything. With letting me completely bury myself after she made sure she was set up without me.
With making me out to be this bad guy... not the guy who helped her believe in God and Jesus, taking her out on an ice rink since she was just a kid and getting her over her fear, so much.

First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's not very becoming.

Tell me about it.

Stop dwelling on what you HAD and start thinking about what you can HAVE. Take all of this as a learning lesson. Move forward. She doesn't want to have any thing to do with you. You said it yourself, she thinks you are stalking her and she has threatened to call the police. She is obviously scared of you. As a woman, that is a scary feeling to have. I understand that.

Please leave her alone.

I know you don't want to hear any of this, but you need to let this woman go. You will have love again. You are young (29) and this isn't the only one out there.

Stop putting so much focus on her and focus on you. It's good that you have been reading up on relationships.

Once you are in a place where you feel comfortable, then put yourself out there to meet other women.

I had to reread this entire post, considering it has been a while since your original post. Reading through I noticed that you had financial problems? How is that now 6 months later?

my finances are in much better shape, and only getting better

[Enigma1999]

I feel taken advantage many ways. I feel taken advantage of because of how she turned the tables on me after I made my mistake with the money situation. I feel taken advantage of because of how she wouldn't give me the time or day after she used me to make sure she had her life setup without me in it, as we had spent the previous nine months together everyday. I feel used by the different perspectives on life she took from being with me. With God, with relationships, with everything. With letting me completely bury myself after she made sure she was set up without me.
with making me out to be this bad guy...not the guy who helped her believe in God and Jesus, taking her out on an ice rink since she was just a kid and getting her over her fear, so much.

Le me ask you this, do you want to be with someone who makes you feel used?

[HeartTrips]

It bothers me that she can go from loving me so much to fearing me to this point, like?

I feel so at a loss as to what happened, I don't know how I could have screwed up so badly. It bothers me knowing I finally am the guy that she had seen in me then, but couldn't be then because I couldn't feel it myself or see it myself, which I tried telling her when she told me why she like me, even though telling her otherwise fell upon deaf ears.


No enigma I don't want to be with someone who makes me feel used. I know how much she cared and wasn't using me while we were together but after that night I changed her feelings about me for the worse, that's all I can feel... used... thus my frustration.


I was given everything I could have asked for and didn't capture the moment. Now I'm left with no relationship, no everything I asked for, a whole pile of wisdom, confidence, passion, desire, romance that I have but with no one to give it, and a tag of being the bad/stalker/feared guy by her.


I know I'm not sounding very becoming.

Knowing I am the guy she needed then but wanting nothing to do with me... is difficult... its difficult having a whole pile of exp. Wisdom, confidence, passion, desire, romance that I have but with no one to give it, and a tag of being the bad/stalker/feared guy by her.

Its difficult being seen by a true woman, as a real man, younger then her mind you, and not being it until its too late... its hard to get my mind around...

[Enigma1999]

i was given everything i could have asked for and didn't capture the moment. now im left with no relationship, no everything i asked for, a whole pile of wisdom, confidence, passion, desire, romance that I have but with no one to give it, and a tag of being the bad/stalker/feared guy by her.

If you and the closest people in your life know that you're not a stalker, then that's all that matters.

People are going to say and do what they want. That is beyond your control.

You just keep being a good person who is working on himself. You will have that passion for someone again.

We have all had breakups. Some better than others, but we all have been there. I myself, lost the love of my life. Am I over it? I am now. Did it take time? Yes. It passed though and it will for you.

[HeartTrips]

I'm completely numb, I knew it was going to come to this the whole time, I couldn't make myself feel or put into action the guy that I am and that she seen until it was too late. My life has been so twisted these last two years. I just want it to stop.

[Enigma1999]

im completely numb, I knew it was going to come to this the whole time, I couldn't make myself feel or put into action the guy that I am and that she seen until it was too late. my life has been so twisted these last two years. I just want it to stop.

You are the only one who can make it stop. Dwelling on this won't help you out.

You are in charge of you. The best way for you to let go is to forgive her and learn from this.

[HeartTrips]

If you and the closest people in your life know that you're not a stalker, then that's all that matters.

People are going to say and do what they want. That is beyond your control.

You just keep being a good person who is working on himself. You will have that passion for someone again.

We have all had breakups. Some better than others, but we all have been there. I myself, lost the love of my life. Am I over it? I am now. Did it take time? Yes. It passed though and it will for you.

That makes me happy to hear Enigma. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you. I hate the fact that I became someone I stand against. I wish I could change it all, I wish I could feel and know what I do now, back then. I just want to get it right, I tried so hard with her.


I never wanted to hurt her, or make her afraid of me, she felt so protected and in the right direction when she was with me until that night I screwed up with my words about money. She will forever hate my guts for leading her on like that. I didn't mean to. I didn't see the choices, I felt so pressured, and it led me to wrong decisions that cost me her feelings towards me.

[Enigma1999]

i never wanted to hurt her, or make her afraid of me, she felt so protected and in the right direction when she was with me until that night i screwed up with my words about money. she will forever hate my guts for leading her on like that. I didn't mean to. I didn't see the choices, i felt so pressured, and it led me to wrong decisions that cost me her feelings towards me.

Do you feel like you have learned a lesson from all of this?

[HeartTrips]

You, I feel like I learned too many lessons. I love learning but I hated every bit of the lessons I have taken from this.


It feels so unfair, trying to except that is hardest, God I loved that girl.


How would I explain this to anyone? How do you get over these feelings?

The self defeat, the cruelty?


What am I missing? I can't imagine the regret she must hold against me.

What am I missing?

I have to learn to take it like a man. Realize that I just have to make the next one better?

Give to the next woman everything I didn't with my ex?

Be confident in myself that I learned a lot and will be a stronger guy for the next woman who decided to give me her beating heart?

[Enigma1999]

what am i missing? I can't imagine the regret she must hold against me.

What am i missing?

I have to learn to take it like a man. Realize that i just have to make the next one better?

Give to the next woman everything I didn't with my ex?

Be confident in myself that I learned a lot and will be a stronger guy for the next woman who decided to give me her beating heart?

That's all you can do is learn and be confident for the future.

[HeartTrips]

I never want to break a heart again

[Enigma1999]

i never want to break a heart again

You seem very innocent for a 29 year old...

I wouldn't clasify it as you breaking her heart. I just think that you two weren't meant to be. That's all.

These things happen all of the time.