[rnfly29]

I don't have an specific question. Basically, I've been just thinking. I am considered not juts by myself but by others that know me as attractive, respectful, decent woman, I am 29 yrs old. My first boyfriend that was supposed to marry me, cheated on me and also declined the offer. Then I meet a loser who married me, but he not only cheated, he lied, when around with others around my back, mentally abused me... finally I asked for divorce, we were married only five years, I didn't take a penny of his, in fact he kept some of my stuff, he didn't even give me a car, he left at the street, but to me that was way better than continue to live with him... now I am in a new relationship, for about one year and a half. This man treats me very well, I can feel that I truly love him, we have both sacrificed things for each other already, like he got deployed 10 months ago. He shows me his love and everything... but... even thought we have talked about getting married, he says, that's a noble idea, but I guess he is waiting to get home first... who knows.
I have waited and still continue to wait for his proposal... he is just coming back from the war... but I hope maybe he can propose sooner..
I just don't feel like I want to live with someone without being married. Somehow I have lost my identity in the process, I know I am his girlfriend, but for many reasons... I can't help to feel like a nobody when other things come along.

Sometimes I don't know what to do... surely, we will talk about this soon... but I will totally prefer it to be his idea to bring this subject up.


Im still a student... I still have 3 more years before I finish my bachelor in nursing.
I can't stop asking myself, why is this world so mess up?
Everything is so backwards..
When a woman asks a guy to get married, then runs the risk to be ditched forever.
Then if we live together is like our honor is up to the trash.

I love this man, but at the same time God knows if would have a place to go I could just go live on my own.. and with this I don't mean I am with him just because of whatever help I get from him while I go to school, I really love this man and I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him with all that this imply.

Most people I know think that I get hit all the time, because me being atractive having big boobs like size 36D, nice body, etc, etc.. Nice personality.. you name it.. but when it comes to reality, most guys are like afraid of me.. I can have good friendships I just avoid them (specially with guys) because I am always prevented againts who they may just want to be with me for a moment, and I do not play those games...
I have always said, to be in bad company better alone..

My actual boyfriend is a great man... but many days even thought he has expressed that I am great cacth, I wonder if he can't see it. What is he afraid off...
He is divorced too... maybe that would do it...

Oh well, who can understand this world.

[mmresd]

Why are you getting all stressed out about not being married? I am 19 and maybe I am missing the factor that you are older than me and maybe after a certain age people feel the NEED to be married? But anyway, your relationship seems fine and there is nothing wrong about not being married if the relationship is going well. You are stressing about something that is not really important, not that marriage is not important, but if you have a good relationship with someone then just be happy about it and don't get hanged up on small details... enjoy his company and enjoy being his girlfriend, especially if you two love each other.

Good Luck,

Javi

[talaniman]

Your path is easy, forget marriage, and living with someone. Just keep doing your own thing, and dating to get to know the guy better. There is no hurry to make a life changing decision, or even live with a guy. He is obligated now anyway so just be patient, and busy until he can be there in person.

No need to put extra pressure on yourself. Heck like you said it's a crazy world.

[flowerchildfala]

I understand your point about wanting marriage! I'm against sex before marriage and living together without being married because I don't want to end up pregnant and then single because the guy wasn't committed enough (I also have other reasons)!! Maybe talk to him about this. With my ex, after a year of dating I really wanted to know what was going to happen, if he saw marriage in our future and to be honest it was the best decision I made to talk to him about because I wanted marriage in 1-2 years and he didn't want to get married at all!! It's so strange how women have to ask men for marriage these days but I think it's because women have become a lot "easier" so if he's got the milk, then why buy the cow situation. Make sure you guys are on the same page from the beginning about where you want this relationship to go so that you don't waste time with him and get your heart broken!! Good luck hun!!

[slapshot_oi]

I can't stop asking myself, why is this world so mess up?.

1. If you expect the worst—in this case, it's to never marry—then it will become a reality. I saw Steve Jobs's commencement speech at Stanford(?) and he shared this quote with the graduating class: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right". That really stuck with me.
2. Blaming the world for your own problems is pitiful and completely backwards. It's all in the eye of the beholder. The world is not messed up, that is just how you see it. Louis Armstrong thought otherwise.
3. You don't get hit on because of you assume the worst in men, such as they want you for the moment as you said, so they react to your attitude. See rule #1.

If you change your negative outlook for the better, great things will happen and good people will walk into your life. This is fact.

Best of luck!