[smoothy]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html
PUUUH-lease read the rules .....................please!!!!

I agree, it gave me a headache trying to read it...

[busybee25]

Hiya,
Talaniman, I was really happy to read your statement on this. Its so impressive, touchy and true. I thank you so much for this...

[busybee25]

Well yes, if you have some suggestion or idea that can help me. I'll be happy to take your view...

> But I was never the guy that went years without a date either. I was just the average guy you may or may not have noticed growing up...

Hey Smoothy. Hope you are doing good! Its always good to exchange views with you... I have signed in just today after a long time. Somehow my eyes ran through your last line as I have quoted above... You seem to be lucky enough to be getting females going out on a date with, I have really tried all my means, but funny enough, couldn't get a gentlemen to even make it for a date. What talk of thinking on long term plans with him... LOL!!

Hey Starry Nights, How are you doing? It gives a lot of peace after reading this message from you. However sometimes it such happens that the past has not treated you so well and even the present is so upsetting that the only future tends to give some hope, so...

Yeah, that's exactly what I do. But actually its really depressing for me cause I lost on a relationship. Its been two years of our breakup but I still haven't been able to forget him. The worst part, he is getting married this Christmas. We always celebrate this festival spreading love and joy around, but it'll be the other way for me. There's so much of vacuum inside me without him. Am indeed very sad :(

[smoothy]

If you wait for someone to come and find you... you will be single your entire life. You have to get up, get out, associate with people, ask some you think might have potiential out, expect that not everyone will be interested and not take rejection personally.

Confidence in ones self is an attractive quality in both men and women. Sit around feeling sorry for yourself and people are going to run away from you.

And since you think God will send someone to you... consider this...

The Lord helps those who help themselves. So get up at take some initiative. Its not going to get easier as you get older and the pool of available people gets married and gets ever smaller.

[busybee25]

Oh, How I wish to get somebody at least worthy to go on a date with at first... But unfortunately can't get even that :(

Yeah, that's what I even told him, can't find a guy to go on a date with even. What an agony... LOL!!

[talaniman]

Holidays are hard when you can't share them with loved ones or someone special. That doesn't mean you can't share yourself. There are a million churches and organizations that need some help, so volunteer your time, and others will appreciate your effort.

Confidence is a must, having faith in yourself is also, so get out and be about yourself, and enjoy it. Exploring, and discovering is what life is about, not wasting time on yesterdays news.

Talaniman Rule - Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18- 80, blind, cripple or crazy.

Why look for a life partner, make friends, and have fun getting to know them. The more, the merrier.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.

A failed relationship two years ago is hardly an excuse for what you are doing now. It is depressing when you have not made enough memories to replace those old ones, but its not to late to start now, yes right now!

Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.
You can't find a needle in a haystack, but you can enjoy the hay ride until the needle sticks you in the butt!

Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.
Lonely, and alone are two very different things, and the challenge is to be happy alone, and take advantage of your freedom to do whatever you want, and be good to yourself.

Its all about finding your thing, and then doing it!! Now find something good to do and enjoy the holidays, just because you can.

[busybee25]

True enough dear, But somehow sometimes we really need someone around to share that little piece of you with...

[smoothy]

True enough dear, But somehow sometimes we really need someone around to share that little piece of you with....

And I refer you back to post #24. You have to get off your butt and look for someone. They are out there. Nobody wants someone that won't take the initiative to even look for anyone else. Act like a lump or doorstop and people will automatically assume you are already attached or not interested.

[talaniman]

True enough dear, But somehow sometimes we really need someone around to share that little piece of you with...

That may be true but if you don't have one what should you do??

Talaniman Rule-Never wallow in your own sh1t!

[altruistvihu]

When you really will deserve a mate, you will find your soulmate. Everything is pre dtermined, you just have to wait to get your best share. Hope you find one soon. Jai Hind

[smoothy]

Nothing is pre-determined...

Sit at home and wait... you are going to die an old single person.

Nobody likes a door stop. And nobody goes looking for the person that doesn't have the motivation to go out and socialize. You deserve what you are willing to earn. Respect, Money, material things... everything.

[busybee25]

I don't know what you are talking about

[smoothy]

You aren't going to find your soulmate unless you go and try and find her.

If you wait for them to find you... you are going to never find a real partner, much less a soulmate.

There are a LOT of people in the world... most of them are not soulmate material for any one person.

God helps those who help themselves... god doesn't reward the lazy. You have to take some initiative. Most people don't like others who sit back and wait for everything to happen... or someone else to do it for them.

Your next potiential soul mate may walk right by you because you don't make the effort to present yourself.

[shadoushka]

You will find your soul mate once you stop looking.
It all depends on your karma from your past life too.
If you were kind and giving and sharing, you may find your soulmate in this life.
There are some people out there that have never found anyone to love them or opposite.
There are reason behind this, you may find that in this life your lesson is to be alone and be happy with yourself.
The true love is from God and you giving to yourself.
I don't believe in Soul mates as I have never seen even one smooth relationship.
All of us need to compromise in a relationship. f
The best in relationship is not trying and have a smooth ride with your soul mate.
I pray for you to find what you deserve.

[smoothy]

Really? How do two souldmates find each other if they stop looking and sit in their own rooms.

That's like My grass will stop growing if I stop mowing it.

[talaniman]

I think that WE have a potential for MANY soul mates.

[shadoushka]

You don't want to sit home and do nothing, this way nothing will happen to you. Of course you have to go out and be available.
What I meant was when you stop looking desperately for the right person.
I have looked all my life all around the world to find my soul mate and I ended up in marriage that needs lots of learning and compromising to the point that I want to give up, I have experienced Love and being in love but It was lots of heart breaking and stress some times.
My view for Soul mate is the one that you don't have no hard time, everything between you is relaxed and calm and full of Love, no expectation with unconditional Love,

[talaniman]

Wow I have been with my soul mate for more than three decades, and we have had great times, and rough ones, and have had to learn much, and compromise, had stress, and heart ache, and yeah I guess we have both wanted to quit, run away and hide at times, we didn't though, just kept it real, and kept it together.

I have always thought that was what real soul mates do though, hang in there together, no matter what life throws at you.

Why didn't you tell me this sooner??

[smoothy]

You don't want to sit home and do nothing, this way nothing will happen to you. Ofcourse you have to go out and be available.
What I meant was when you stop looking desperately for the right person.
I have looked all my life all around the world to find my soul mate and I ended up in marriage that needs lots of learning and compromising to the point that I want to give up, I have experienced Love and being in love but It was lots of heart breaking and stress some times.
My view for Soul mate is the one that you don't have no hard time, everything between you is relaxed and calm and full of Love, no expectation with unconditional Love,

Yeah... I see your point now... and now that I see it I'm not in disagreement, at least with some of it, not so much the last part however.. But If your focus is purely on finding that one person... you aren't going to find then because you will see faults in everyone... but live for today... date normally, and you are going to find that diamond in the rough when and where you least expected to find it.

But on the marriage part... you are ALWAYS going to have to compromise... soulmate or not. Nobody is going to do exactly what you want, exactly when you want every time. You can't go ut with your friends without having to compromise.

Think I married my soulmate... nope, but I'm not at all unhappy about it either. She's a good woman... we are happy together... we get along well, she has her bad points but I still think she was a good choice.

I've learned this is the real world... technical perfection only exists in ones mind and in theory. We ALL have our flaws and imperfections of a multitude of types.

[Cat1864]

For those who believe that being with your Soul-mate "that you don't have no hard time, everything between you is relaxed and calm and full of Love, no expectation with unconditional Love,": Do you have that type of relationship with yourself?

Think about it. If one person has internal struggles and things he/she likes and dislikes about him/herself, why wouldn't two two people have the same types of issues to work through? The issues don't go away just because you love someone.

I have been with my Soul-mate for 26 years-a month away from being married 25 years. We, too, have our ups and downs. We love each other and keep the passion in our relationship because we don't take each other's presence for granted. We know full well that we are individuals with our own minds and personalities. We know that everything is not going to be perfect between us. However, those differences make us stronger. We see problems in different ways and by communicating we figure out the best way to handle them.

There should be some friction. Friction is what keeps objects together. While too much friction can cause things to become stuck, remove all the friction and they slide apart.