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    modernromance09's Avatar
    modernromance09 Posts: 93, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Sep 20, 2010, 10:57 PM
    I'm scared to give my boyfriend oral
    I am 20 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months. I have never given him oral or even a hand job. I have given a ton of oral in the past, but have always for some reason felt awkward giving hand jobs.. I don't know why. For some reason, I am absolutely terrified to do anything to my boyfriend. He will do anything for me, and in the past no one has really complained about what I have done for them. In the past I have been used a lot for sex. I have only had one other boyfriend, and I gave him oral all the time. I know this is strange, but do you think it could possibly be because with every other guy I did things with them right away? Me and my current boyfriend didn't have sex right away and I know this makes me look bad but I used to not care and would just do things with guys right away. Could it be that I really like him and it makes me nervous because I actually care and want to please him? I don't know what to do or why I feel like this. I want to be able to do things for him but just get really anxious whenever I consider doing it.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 21, 2010, 08:32 AM
    More of the background: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nt-503427.html

    Are you still living with him in his parent's house? Do you have a job and transportation, yet?

    It could be that you are afraid of making the same mistake again and are holding part of yourself back.

    It could be that part of you is reacting to some of the control he seems to be using in the relationship (his passive way of getting you to give up your male friends).

    It could be part of you reacting to his lack of trust because you were honest with him about your past.

    Have you tried talking to him about how you are feeling? Discussing it with him may help you find the answers in your own mind.
    modernromance09's Avatar
    modernromance09 Posts: 93, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Sep 21, 2010, 01:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    More of the background: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nt-503427.html

    Are you still living with him in his parent's house? Do you have a job and transportation, yet?

    It could be that you are afraid of making the same mistake again and are holding part of yourself back.

    It could be that part of you is reacting to some of the control he seems to be using in the relationship (his passive way of getting you to give up your male friends).

    It could be part of you reacting to his lack of trust because you were honest with him about your past.

    Have you tried talking to him about how you are feeling? Discussing it with him may help you find the answers in your own mind.
    I am still living with him and looking for work, no car yet. I have talked to him about it.. I've been honest with him and told him I don't know why but it gives me anxiety and he tells me he thinks that's b.s. and it's something else.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 21, 2010, 02:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by modernromance09 View Post
    I am still living with him and looking for work, no car yet. I have talked to him about it..i've been honest with him and told him i don't know why but it gives me anxiety and he tells me he thinks that's b.s. and it's something else.
    So, he dismissed your feelings. What does he think the cause is?
    mrshodges's Avatar
    mrshodges Posts: 208, Reputation: 34
    Full Member
     
    #5

    Sep 22, 2010, 07:58 AM

    Reading both of your posts I think you are in a emotionally abusive relationship. You need to find somewhere else to live.

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