[vanheart]

Were you with someone else?
If, not. There's insecurities that she needs to deal with.

And if she jumps into someone else's arms just cause she's tripping, then you need to think twice about her.

Especially if she doesn't wish to fix things. Which it sounds like she doesn't.

Honestly, your kids are what's important here.

If she doesn't want seek help, you should on your own. Understand how you can still be a good dad without her drama.

The worst thing is to let your kids suffer & impact their future.

Whenever you get: "she doesn't feel anything for me anymore and that I can find someone better than her"

Then believe it.

[Homegirl 50]

Were you with someone else?
If, not. Theres insecurities that she needs to deal with.

And if she jumps into someone else's arms just cause shes tripping, then you need to think twice about her.

Especially if she doesn't wish to fix things. Which it sounds like she doesn't.

Honestly, your kids are whats important here.

If she doesnt want seek help, you should on your own. Understand how you can still be a good dad without her drama.

The worst thing is to let your kids suffer & impact their future.

Whenever you get: "she doesn't feel anything for me anymore and that I can find someone better than her"

Then believe it.

The drama isn't just her. He started this mess with his drama. There was a chain of events that lead up to her leaving. I don't think it is a matter of her insecurities

[Airfro]

Vanheart, believe me I thought of what you're saying since she told me she's with someone else. I was thinking I should do the same and get with someone else too, but that's just going to make things much worse. It's just much more complicated than that. I don't know if what I did and what I put her through justifies that she can be with someone else. Or it could even be a lie she made up to make me feel the way I made her feel. Who knows. Either way, whether it's true or not, I started this whole mess and I have to clean it up. I admit to my own supidity and my mistakes. I'm man enough to own up to them. But that's just me trying to become a better person for her and my kids. Was your post based off the 1st two paragraphs from my original question, or did you actually read through the whole Q&A's?

[vanheart]

Sorry,

I may have misunderstood.

Keep trying to make amends. Being good.

Maybe an honest, heartfelt letter is in order.

[kartikmistry]

Just wait. My friends. One day she will feel about you. I'm too waiting, I never want to disturb her. I like to live away from her, but love 24hrs. And just and just wait.kartik

[fantasia]

Hello,
I am so sorry to hear that, life is definitely a mystery.

A Wise Man told me once to live by "If you are trying to get somewhere & don't know how to figure it out, figure out what you want to do first & everything else will figure itself out"

"Never let fear the fear of yourself to get in your way" Babe Ruth quote" & don't let it stop you from doing something you want to do so bad, but are scared to do" Face it straight on and then the next time, you will be able to face anything" Can you understand what I am saying? Think for a moment. Speaking of MOMENTS, the other day, "I enjoy writing & poems (mine)." Anyways, back to the MOMENT, I realized that a MOMENT, is just a second, just one second. and that 1 MOMENT can change your life for ever! And I realized in the MOMENT (that split second) you can say things to hurt someone and it really does hurt when someone says bad things or even yells at thier partner. REMEMBER, once something comes out of your mouth, U CAN NOT TAKE THAT BACK!!!
I can tell you that I have been married twice, I am in my 40's and have 2 grown up children in there mid & late twenties, and 3 grandchildren, I have a bit of experience so to say, U know, been around the block once or twice, LOL>.>
Seriously, if U love her, give her space. (Not to much) If you really love someone, let them go. If they come back, it was always meant to be, if they don't come back, it was never to be in the 1st place. For her to walk out just like that "snap of a finger, sounds like" with your kids. right? Something is strange. And it could absolutely be a health issue.

BUT, for some reason, she has been in contact with this person before you ever found out. Rather she knows him from family or friends, but he was there when she needed someone, that sucks, you probably didn't see it coming, did you? See, he told her things that she needed to hear at the time, he knew by the way she acted or spoke that something in her life was not good, he took advantage of that, and put her in the palm of his hand. He was probably a confidont for her, someone she could spill her guts to about you and the problems and he was right there to listen, tell her what she wanted to hear and she fell for it. Really Sucks, but, listen, life is not easy, no one said it would be. U will not make this mistake again.
PS< if she contacts U, don't jump for her and be right there. if you have caller ID< let it ring and get back to her, tell her you were out, sorry i missed the call, and she is probably going to ask, "where did U go the other night". Just look @ her and say, Honey, I need some answers, I don't know where to go and get them, I am hurt, so I just need a friend, I am going out to find out who I am after all these years, and ask her, do you understand what I am saying? Wait for her reply and tell her, I really wish U were there for me with my problem, bigger than life, but I feel I lost my best friend, my confidont-soul mate, I just can't believe it is over. (sad Look of course) and do eye contact for sure, and one more thing, she keeps trying to have you near her, because she really does care, but perhaps she feels trapped in this situation w/the other guy and don't want to get everyone pissed at her or her look like a fool to everyone around her. Tell her Thanksgiving is coming up and you would love to spend that day as a famly with her and the kids & go for a walk, go to the park after, do something U know she would love. Now, go ask her, time is flying by. U know she still wants U, so hurry the grasp U have on her, is slowly being ripped from your arms by another person, twisting her thoughts and changing who she is.

Hope things work out for you

Life, Love and the pursuit for happiness

[Airfro]

I wish would've seen your this a little earlier Fantasia. Wow I haven't been on this site since last year. She has a baby with the other person, but the current situation is that she told me she misses me and that she wished things could've been different. I apologized to her and told her that she will always be my 2st true love, but that I moved on alread. I get my kids every other weekend and I am very happy with my current life. Thanks all for your advice, and Fantasia, that last comment would've really helped me if I read it any soon, because that is exactly what she told me that went wrong...