[deadtotheworld]

OK me and my girlfriend are both 14 now and she had sex with someone I hate with a passion (at the time he was 15 and she was 13). It was before I knew her we've been dating now for 2 months and 6 days and every time I hear about it I get feelings of hate, sadness, and rage! I mean don't get me wrong I love her dearly no matter what ANYONE says but every time now when we get the least bit sexual (meaning intence kissing and touching and things like that) but every time we do "that" crosses my mind she can tell it makes me upset and then we both feel like ****. Any advice?. please

[Imabadman]

Learn to deal with your jealously.

[deadtotheworld]

Learn to deal with your jealously.

Its not a jealosy thing its just... it bothers the **** out of me

[Enigma1999]

I guess I am old fashioned, but 14 is too young to be having sex.

Let me ask you, are you ready to be a Daddy if you get her pregnant?

I was playing with barbie dolls at 13 and 14.

[deadtotheworld]

its not a jealosy thing its just... it bothers the **** out of me

Does anyone have any GOOD advice

I guess I am old fashioned, but 14 is too young to be having sex.

Let me ask you, are you ready to be a Daddy if you get her pregnant?

I was playing with barbie dolls at 13 and 14.

Its not me and her havng sex it was him and her

[Enigma1999]

its not me and her havng sex it was him and her

"every time now when we get the least bit sexual (meaning intence kissing and touching and things like that)"

That's still pretty close.

Meaning, still to young to be doing even that. Don't you think?

Just be careful.

[deadtotheworld]

OK, so her old boyfriend is a total fag, but I got a bit jelous because she wants to hang out with like some dude and two other girls, and I trusther just not him and then a talked to her about how I felt and she got mad and sayd "oh wow you dont trust me? sorry but your kinda acting like my old bf" advice/help?

[Kitkat22]

You did receive "GOOD" advice. Too bad your girlfriend didn't come here and ask for help before she gave her body to someone at 13.

You are fourteen. Too young for sex. Too young for driving. Too young to vote.

Reality check here young man.Do you want to be a daddy at fifteen?
Do you want to drop out of school and get a job?

When all your friends are enjoying football games and dating, you'll be sitting at home with the girlfriend and a baby.

This will happen if you do not stop with the kissing and touching.

She had sex at thirteen and you need to learn about STD and Aids
Before you let your hormones take over.

Grow up and get away from this girl and both of you need to stop acting like grownups. You're not.

You were given good advice, by Enigma.. if you came here looking for sympathy I have none, not for two fourteen year olds who apparently share a brain.

[talaniman]

At 14 you may be to young to see that your feelings for your girls ex, is making you jealous, and mistrusting of her and will push her away no doubt.

You really don't have the coping skills yet to deal with your feelings so you project them to her with words and actions that turn her off.

Stop doing that, and letting her ex live rent free in your head, and making you look like the bad guy. Its not him, its you, thats allowing your feelings to make you act like a needy kid, who has no control over himself.

[deadtotheworld]

OK I got jelous cuas she wants to hang out with some guy alone I had every right to be jealos, but then she said "wow your acting like like my old bf" and I'm scared she's going to leave, what should I do or say to her

[Stringer]

Two scenarios I see here as a possibility. Since we do not have any background histories on either of you.

Either she is correct and you are over jealous or you have some reason to be.

Two, what she has said could be a defense of the fact that she is conscious that she does things that make a boyfriend jealous and might indicate the problem has a history...

How long have you two been going together and may I ask how old you both are?

Stringer

[Imabadman]

Here's some good advice. Abstinence.

• Abstinence because you're too young to understand the long term effects of teen pregnancy. Have you even considered what this would do to the parents involved, loved ones, your lives, or even the burden on society?
• Abstinence because you care more about what others are thinking than the persons involved.
• Abstinence because you're unable to recognize and understand when you're jealous of others, nor are you able to deal with it with these emotions and feelings in an mature manner.
• Abstinence because you wouldn't know GOOD advice if it...

[ScottGem]

There are two issues here. The first is your question about dealing with your girlfriend's past. The second is her having sexual activity at 13. Despite what you might want to hear, we need to deal with BOTH issues.

So first is dealing with her past. You refer to her as "had sex". But you and she have had sex as well ("intence kissing and touching and things like that"). So I'm assuming you mean she lost her virginity. We have no idea of the circumstances. Was she a willing partner, did the boy take advantage, was it a one time, in the heat of passion thing? You need to understand the circumstances to help you deal with the issue. But YOU have to deal with it. Her past is just that HER past and should have little if any bearing on your relationship with her. As you get older you will have many relationships where you will have to deal with the relationships they have had before you.

As to her sexual activity, again we don't know the circumstances but its clear you are risking things going too far again. You are too young to deal with the hormonal problems of growing up. And that brings me to your insistence that you "love her dearly". I am very sure it feels that way to you. But dating at 14 for just over 2 months tells me that you haven't a clue what loving someone "dearly" really means.

So the bottom line here is you need to put aside her past and deal only with your present. And you need to start backpedaling on the sexual activity.

And despite what you may think you have gotten VERY good advice here. It may not be what you wanted to hear, but its been very good nonetheless.

[Imabadman]

Spreading the rep.

Tal - nicely said.

[Jake2008]

For some reason, there are two versions of this question.

The first one did not indicate age.

No comment. They are both underage.

[ScottGem]

OH, and stop creating new threads for each aspect of your relationship. I've merged your threads for you, keep everything in one place.

[Kitkat22]

Please refrain from using slang such as "total fag".

[Enigma1999]

For some reason, there are two versions of this question.

The first one did not indicate age.

No comment. They are both underage.

No problem.

He had started several threads. It was confusing once all merged together.

[Stringer]

I do not know what is going on here. The answer I gave was not to the present OP's question. Did the OP change or edit the question??

EDIT: Ok, the threads were merged, Now I don't feel as stupid... geeze...

Stringer

[Kitkat22]

I do not know what is going on here. The answer I gave was not to the present OP's question. Did the OP change or edit the question????

Stringer

His threads were merged. It confused all of us. They are both 14.