[jillybean187]

My boyfriend wants to browse for girls on myspace and talk to his exgirlfriend even though I told him it bothered me. We have been in a relationship for 2 years and I'm starting to realize he has talked to other girls supposedly as "friends" most of the time. We talked about it he said he stopped but then he tells me one day that he needs to add me to his new myspace so he can stop checking them both. He hasn't been with anyone that I know of but he still won't stop. What do I do?

[Enigma1999]

Hello Jillybean,

Here's what you do... You say "Bye Bye".

Let me break it down for you, Nobody should be browsing for the opposite sex when they are supposedly in a relationship with someone. Plain and simple. Whether it is that he is trying to reconnect with an ex or finding new women. It's not right and clearly he doesn't respect your feelings or else he wouldn't do these things knowing that it bothers you.

Does that make sense?

[jillybean187]

Yes he tried to turn the situation around on me saying it was petty jeoulosy, I didn't trust him, and I didn't want him to be happy. I felt guilty that he might be right. Hearing this from an outside prospective makes me feel better thank you

[Enigma1999]

yes he tried to turn the situation around on me saying it was petty jeoulosy, i didnt trust him, and i didnt want him to be happy. i felt guilty that he might be right. hearing this from an outside prospective makes me feel better thank you

You have no reason what so ever to feel guilty. You are not the one doing this to him. He is doing it to you. The only way for him to not fel bad or guilty is to put the blame on you and say that you are acting jealous and being petty.

You aren't. He is doing this.

How would he feel if the tables were turned?

[jillybean187]

I asked him this and he told me there was a double standard. I have tried everything to keep us together I love him and gave him an ultimatum to stop. He now refuses to discuss the issue. Is there anyway to fall out of love with a jerk

[Enigma1999]

I asked him this and he told me there was a double standard. I have tried everything to keep us together I love him and gave him an ultimatum to stop. he now refuses to discuss the issue. is there anyway to fall out of love with a jerk

Unfortunately time.

I am sorry for you.

Perhaps it is time for you to make a decision if you want to spend any more time on/with him.

Double standard? It is a double standard on his part.

He shows no sign of compassion for you. He disregards you. That's not love nor respect in my book.

[talaniman]

You are trying to hard, he is not trying enough.

What's wrong with this picture. For sure if you put up with this behavior it will surely continue. Double standard my a$$, trolling for females crosses the lines of good behavior in a committed relationship.

[BMI]

I think you should feel terrible. I mean how dare-you as his girlfriend-you not let this gentleman have fun adding whomever female friend he wishes? Also, you probably should not ask what they talk about or bother him if he actually goes out with one of them else you'll ruin his fun and stress him out.

Who needs this? Tell him he can add as many dudes as he likes. Now that is a comprimise:)

[adam_89]

I think you should feel terrible. I mean how dare-you as his girlfriend-you not let this gentleman have fun adding whomever female friend he wishes? Also, you probably should not ask what they talk about or bother him if he actually goes out with one of them else you'll ruin his fun and stress him out.

Who needs this? Tell him he can add as many dudes as he likes. Now that is a comprimise:)

I thought you were being real for a second. I was about to have a few words. Anyway, good post.

[adam_89]

Get rid of him. He is unworthy of you so you should not put up with it. Everyone know what he is doing is wrong. I bet he even knows.

[jmjoseph]

How old is this guy? He sounds young, yet sexist.

This guy is a tool. He already has a great girl, however feels the need to "shop" for another one. He thinks that he "deserves" one a little bit better than the one that "he already has got in his back pocket". I'd bet that you would do anything for this punk, and he still treats you like dirt, right? Why allow yourself to be treated with such disregard?

I'd also be willing to bet that he's already cheated with at least one of these girls. That's what it's all about to him.

The world is full of guys of all sorts. Go trade that monkey for a man.

A REAL MAN wouldn't have you on a site like this, trying to figure out how to make him behave like he even has a girlfriend.

The way to get over someone like him is to be mad at how that person can TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED, and pretend to be single. Like you were not even there.

Invest your life, and love, on someone who respects and loves you back.

[jillybean187]

You are all right. I'm 23 and this was my first serious relationship I just thought that all couples worked through issues but everything started to seem wrong. He is 30 and I thought that meant he was going to act like a real man but now I'm starting to see him as a jerk wanting someone to take care of him while he goes out looking for girls and a good time. I feel so deceived and hurt by his actions.

[adam_89]

I am sorry for what happened to you. Not all guys are like that. I am 21 and I know way better than to do something stupid like that. It sounds like he was using you until he found what he wanted. I don't mean to make that sound mean, but that is what it seemed like to me. You will find a better guy who appreciates you and does not take advantage of you. Maybe try guys a little closer to your age. You might have more in common that way. Good luck and again sorry for what you are going through.

[choirgirl]

Just an interesting story to tell you...
I had the same thing with my boyfriend for 2 years. He added attractive girls on Facebook, most 10-12 years younger than him. Whenever we saw these girls they were throwing themselves at his car (mitsubishi evo) and throwing their arms around him whenever we went out. Then the text messages started. These girls were totally rude and ignorant to me and failed to acknowledge that I was actually his partner of 2 years when we were seen out together. Of course we had arguments about it, he called me possessive, controlling, insecure, jealous etc and told me I had absolutely nothing to worry about...
We split up just over a month ago... within 2 weeks he had moved one of these girls into our house! Just proved to me that my suspicions were right all along!
Social Networking and mobile phones/texts are a bain on relationships as they allow people to keep secrets and "emotionally cheat" on their partners! Just be cautious!

[jillybean187]

Thank you for sharing choirgirl. I'm sorry this happened to you too. We can only hope that there are nicer guys out there

[BMI]

Lol. I pressed agree by mistake!! Nit that I have anything against what you wrote, however, I do not hope there are nicer guys out there. They represent my competition:) so please disregard.

[vanheart]

Of course he knows. That's what he's denying it with things like "double standard"

He wants a girlfriend around while he does what he wants.

Pack your bags. Don't even tell him your leaving/breaking up. Just do it.

Don't ever talk to him again. You have already expressed your hurt and concern. He doesn't wish to acknowledge it or change. So be it.

Nothing left to say to him, EVER.

Hes a complete jerk. Not ready for a relationship. Disgusting, actually.

Be glad to get out.

[jillybean187]

I'm slightly worried how he will take the news. I'm at familys house taking care of them after a surgery, he refused to come with me. I still need to get the rest of my stuff I want to do this when he and his mom are not there but he doesn't have a job so I am never sure when he will be there. He usually changes the subject if I ask when we talk which is rare now. Probably has a cyber date or something:(

[vanheart]

If the stuff is really important, then make a time when he's not there.

Get it, then be done.

If you don't feel safe, then get a friend to help.

You should make a point anyway of letting your friends & family know that this is what you are doing, just as support.

[jillybean187]

What should I do if one of the utilities is in my name