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    dilemna's Avatar
    dilemna Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 23, 2010, 12:01 PM
    My boyfriends ex says she's pregnant and he's the father should I continue to date
    I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. Before we even met he was dating his ex for 8 months. She came to him last month and says she's 6 months pregnant and he's the father. She never contacted him the entire pregnancy, but now she says he's the father and he says he wants to be in the child's life if that's true. He's already hired a lawyer and once the baby is born he will demand paternity tests. In the meantime, she has moven out of state. He has been very open and honest with me about this whole situation, all his friends say that she had cheated on him many times and she's crazy, she also has another child from a prior boyfriend.

    Should I bother in continuing to date him. He's otherwise a wonderful guy and perfect for each other. I'm afraid that if it is his child he will permanently have to share his life, affections and income with this other child.
    FoxCash's Avatar
    FoxCash Posts: 160, Reputation: 125
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    #2

    Aug 23, 2010, 12:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by dilemna View Post
    I'm afraid that if it is his child he will permanently have to share his life, affections and income with this other child.
    Why is that a bad thing?

    If you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who might be attached to his ex for the next 18 or so years then it would be best to end it now.
    flores95's Avatar
    flores95 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Aug 23, 2010, 12:40 PM

    Well you should just wait and see if its his baby . There's nothing wrong in my opinion with him having a baby and you still dating him . But be aware he will spend the next 18 years in contact with his ex. Just be patient and wait to see if its his :) good luck
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Aug 23, 2010, 09:05 PM

    I would give this a lot of thought because having children is a life changing event, and no doubt what he has in front of him will change him. And it may be years before he gets himself straight from this.

    Not a good thing for such a young relationship, plus as nice as he is now and as much as you like him, there is still much to learn about him, and this only adds to the drama.

    Take your time with this, what's the hurry, the drama hasn't even started yet.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 23, 2010, 09:45 PM

    Hello,

    First off, I applaud him for wanting to take on the responsibilities if this is his child... Good for him!

    Also, it shows he is upstanding, which is a good quality to have in a partner.

    However, if this is his child, then you have to understand that not only this child, but the child's mother will be apart of his life forever. It is up to you if you can handle that.

    If you don't think you can handle it, then perhaps you should end it.

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