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hopeless3200 · Aug 10, 2010, 10:24 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and 5 months. This past January, I found out that he has been addicted to an opiate for more than 2 years. He has tried to quit once but was unsuccessful. Just recently, he told me that he 100% ready to quit and is in the process as we speak, but he is doing it on his own, which I know the success rate is a small percetage. The way he is detoxing is taking less of the opiate everyday and then switch to suboxyne afterwards.

I am skeptical about the whole thing. I told him he needs professional help and that he can't do this on his own but he truly believes that he can. He told me it will take a couple of weeks but for some reason, I feel I am being fooled. Should I stay with him while he is trying to quit?

DoulaLC · Aug 10, 2010, 10:33 AM

I give him credit for trying to quit.

You could see how things go, but have a plan b to move out if need be until he either gets himself sorted out or comes to realize he needs more help than he can do on his own.
I'd let him know that you will support and try to help him, but that he needs to know that you will be out of there if necessary until he receives professional help with it.

Opiate Addiction Facts

hopeless3200 · Aug 10, 2010, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

I give him credit for trying to quit.

You could see how things go, but have a plan b to move out if need be until he either gets himself sorted out or comes to realize he needs more help than he can do on his own.
I'd let him know that you will support and try to help him, but that he needs to know that you will be out of there if necessary until he receives professional help with it.

Opiate Addiction Facts

I do give him credit and try to stay positive about it. The thing is though, he has tried once before but couldn't handle it so he went right back on.

He said if detoxing himself doesn't work then he will seek medical help. He is iffy about receiving professional help because of money and his job. I told him it would be worth it in the end!

DrBill100 · Aug 10, 2010, 10:37 AM

What type of opiate, how much used and in what form?

hopeless3200 · Aug 10, 2010, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by DrBill100

What type of opiate, how much used and in what form?

Morphine, pill-form and over 100 mgs per day.

shade3shades · Aug 14, 2010, 01:46 AM

YES YES YES, stay with him if he is loyal to u

hopeless3200 · Aug 18, 2010, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by shade3shades

YES YES YES, stay with him if he is loyal to u

Why do you say yes 3 times and in bold? Have you been through this before?

Devorameira · Aug 18, 2010, 02:39 PM

Try to support him during the process. I wish him well with his efforts, but it may take some professional help to be successful in the long run.

hopeless3200 · Aug 19, 2010, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by Devorameira

Try to support him during the process. I wish him well with his efforts, but it may take some professional help to be successful in the long run.

I told him he needs help but he refuses because he is so confident that he can quit himself. I'm not too sure about that. I've read the statistics of quitting that stuff cold turkey. They are very low.

DoulaLC · Aug 20, 2010, 05:00 AM

Originally Posted by hopeless3200

I told him he needs help but he refuses because he is so confident that he can quit himself. I'm not too sure about that. I've read the statistics of quitting that stuff cold turkey. They are very low.

Support and encourage him, but remember to keep yourself safe as well. If a situation arises that you feel unsafe, you need to be out.

Again, I would let him know upfront that you will support his getting better, but that you will not stay around if it looks like things aren't getting better and he then continues to refuse professional help.

The hard part is that even if he does get clean, it is something that he can easily fall back into if he doesn't make life changes.

You will have to decide the importance of the relationship to you and quite frankly whether this is something you want to go through with him as a girlfriend. There would be nothing wrong about choosing not to go that direction if it isn't something you wanted to do. You can always be a supportive friend without continuing to be his girlfriend.

slapshot_oi · Aug 20, 2010, 05:18 AM

Originally Posted by hopeless3200

Morphine, pill-form and over 100 mgs per day.

Jeez, that's a lot.

Good for him. Junk is the toughest habit to kick, so your absolutely right about the low success rate of cold turkey. Even after he kicks it watch and make sure he doesn't replace it with another substance, usually alcohol. I've had a couple friends who started as junkies and became alcoholics, it's tough to see.

Honestly, I don't know what to say about sticking by him. All I can say is for those two years, he was looking out for himself and feeding his habit behind your back, so if you decided you need to do what's best for you and leave, no one would judge you.

If your interested, you may want to read Junky to gain some perspective. It's a semi-autobiographical account of Burroughs's habit from the late 40's through the 50's.

Good luck!

hopeless3200 · Aug 24, 2010, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Support and encourage him, but remember to keep yourself safe as well. If a situation arises that you feel unsafe, you need to be out.

Again, I would let him know upfront that you will support his getting better, but that you will not stay around if it looks like things aren't getting better and he then continues to refuse professional help.

The hard part is that even if he does get clean, it is something that he can easily fall back into if he doesn't make life changes.

You will have to decide the importance of the relationship to you and quite frankly whether or not this is something you want to go through with him as a girlfriend. There would be nothing wrong about choosing not to go that direction if it isn't something you wanted to do. You can always be a supportive friend without continuing to be his girlfriend.

My biggest fear is that he will relapse.

He has been detoxing himself for 2 weeks now and Friday he is starting Suboxyne. I let him know prior to detoxing that if he doesn't succeed then he needs to get professional help, otherwise, I will not stay with him.

Thank you for your support.

hopeless3200 · Aug 24, 2010, 08:18 AM

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Jeez, that's a lot.

Good for him. Junk is the toughest habit to kick, so your absolutely right about the low success rate of cold turkey. Even after he kicks it watch and make sure he doesn't replace it with another substance, usually alcohol. I've had a couple friends who started as junkies and became alcoholics, it's tough to see.

Honestly, I don't know what to say about sticking by him. All I can say is for those two years, he was looking out for himself and feeding his habit behind your back, so if you decided you need to do what's best for you and leave, no one would judge you.

If your interested, you may want to read Junky to gain some perspective. It's a semi-autobiographical account of Burroughs's habit from the late 40's through the 50's.

Good luck!

At first when I found out, I didn't want to to stay with him. Everything that happened during those two years that didn't make sense now do. I was in shock, heart-broken and felt betrayed. I played this through my head over a thousand times.