[ubaidullah]

My understanding of istikhara is when you have to make a decision you pray istikhara namaz. And then leave the situation to allah. You then make a decision as in go ahead or not if you go ahead then if allah knows this is going to be good for you then it will if allah thinks this isn't good for you he removes you from a situation as it just doesn't happen? Is my understanding of istikhara right or not. As I am having severe doubts around 9 years ago I had a proposal from someone for marriage. He seemed islamicly educated and I thort I could see a future with him. However I prayed isthikhara namaz and constantly in my salat I use to make dua that if this person was not good for me then to not let the marriage happen and vice versa. To cut the story short the marriage went ahead so I thort allah swt wanted me to get married to this guy. However after marriage he didn't care for me or look after me and the maaraige ended up in a divorce even though I kept making dua for allah not to let the marriage end up in a divorce. I was so gutted and I lost faith in allah I had constant nagging thorts that why did allah let this happen as you know for a girl to go through divorce in our society is so hard. Due to the divorce I suffered severe deppression which lasted for years. I kept and thinking allah knew what this person was going to be like so why did he think this was the best for me. Did I pray my istikhara wrong? Or simply did allah not listen to my duas?
Any way my brother in law introduced me to someone for marriage about a year and a half ago. I was ready for a marriage as I needed physical comfort and I didn't want to obtain this in haram ways and felt the only way it was allowed in islam was to get married as it had been 7 years since I was divorced. Anyway He was turkish and couldn't speak english. Where as I could only speak english and gujerati. However I was introduced to this guy he seemed to have good characters so I thort and my brother in law also said that he was a genuine guy. Everyone kept and telling me to get to know him but I didn't because how could we communicate. I thort to myself that when he comes to england he will learn english. So I performed istikhara again and made so much dua to allah swt that he knew the future and he knew what was best for me. I prayed and again made a lot of dua saying to allah that if this person was not good for me and there would be someone better than for allah to not let marriage take place and vice versa. I said yes and believed that if he wasn't right for me than allah swt would not let the marriage take place as I had performed istikhara prior to this. I got married. It has been 1 year since we are living together. As I have got to know him I feel we are so different in so many ways our thinking everything etc. He is more materilistic and I am more hereafter orientated. I really was looking for a partner who would guide me and teach me about islam. I feel in this marriage I am teaching him manners, etc etc etc. He suffers from excessive odour and his breath stinks. I tell him so many times that he needs to take care of this issues as at times I don't want to even have a physical relationship with him he doesn't even have a shower when he knows he is smelling. I feel drained I feel why me as if I haven't suffered enough. I feel so angry with allah as I so believed like it says so many times allah knows what is best for us and he knows everything. He is the best planner so why did he let the marriage go ahead if he knew the second time it was going to be so hard. Everyone says be patient how much patience can I have I am only human. I need help as I am having doubts and don't believe in istikhara namaz? Did I make the mistakes in choosing these people? I don't understand or did allah want me to be with these people as it says he is the best planner and knows what is best for us.

[bluefairy_nebul]

Assalamu alaikum,

Islam Question and Answer - How to pray istikhaarah
Q & A: Confused: My Marriages Failed Despite Istikhara

I understand that you are living a very unhappy life.All I want to say is- have faith on Allah. Allah does well whatever he does. Remember those verses -

"....Your possessions and your off spring are but a trial..." surah: Anfal,Verse:28

“and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know”

[al-Baqarah 2:216].

Please read the following article:

Tawakkul

[ubaidullah]

Jazakhlaah for your reply. Maybe allah swt wants me to hang in my marriage

[Clough]

Jazakhlaah for your reply. Maybe allah swt wants me to hang in my marriage

Hi, ubaidullah!

What does what you wrote above mean, please?

Thanks!

[guest1]

Salaam,

I am in a similar situation. I am afraid whether to marry a particular muslim brother, have read istikhara many times and have decided to just go with it. IA it turns out well and I too have been praying for it to end if he in not right for me. In interim , another brother came into my life whom I was keen to marry , read istikhara for him too and decided not to marry him after that. My heart is not entirely contented, I feel that perhaps I made wrong decision to say no to the other proposal , but I am not sure whether I should go ahead with the current proposal.