[Kitkat22]

You have 5 days down. Great.
Now go for 50.

After that, go for 500.

In the meantime, enjoy your life.

Talaniman made a good point. Are you interacting with other people?

[BWK10]

To an extent, I don't necessarily have the many most of friends, very few to be quite honest. I always always someone who enjoyed his alone time... but wanted to spend more if it with someone (case in point getting involved with two girls in the past year). That grew, and ever since a few weeks ago I've pretty much went back to keeping with myself.

[talaniman]

Maybe its time to get out of your comfort zone for what I understand to be the need for female companionship. Online dating which you have already done can be hit or miss but the thing is I think maybe you get to attached to fast, and have maybe made you gun shy of getting back into the dating scene.

Dating is for fun, as you get to know someone. Not a quick lonely fix. But part of a balanced social life.

Dating should also be a process, not a solution, as you give yourself time to see if this person could be mate material.

I never exclusively date until enough time has gone by and we know each other well. That stops those quick attachments that don't last, and for me 6 months is a good time to start thinking of dating exclusively.

Talaniman Rule-Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall! 18-80, blind, cripple, or crazy.

Not only is it fun, but a great way to learn about yourself, and females. Like I said, part of a balanced social life full of people and activities you enjoy, to have something good to look forward too. Then you won't be looking back crying over yesterdays spilled milk.

Get back on line guy and try the next one have a date or two and keep meeting females. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find one who turns out to be the one for you so you may as well deal with rejection, and disappointment, in a practical way, and keep it moving.

[BWK10]

Thanks. But I think it's time for me just to stay single for awhile. I have taken myself off that website for good, and even blocked it since I know my ex is using it as well. I need to get myself back to who I use to be, happy. I never fixed my broken heart before getting involved with the last one.

My own fault, but I don't regret it. It's time to clean myself up, get back into decent shape before I can even think of committing myself to someone else, it wouldn't be fair.

[Kitkat22]

Thanks. But I think it's time for me just to stay single for awhile. I have taken myself off that website for good, and even blocked it since I know my ex is using it as well. I need to get myself back to who I use to be, happy. I never fixed my broken heart before getting involved with the last one.

My own fault, but I don't regret it. It's time to clean myself up, get back into decent shape before I can even think of committing myself to someone else, it wouldn't be fair.

Hope you do what we have advised!:)

[vanheart]

"I never fixed my broken heart before getting involved with the last one."

See? Just have fun for now...

[talaniman]

My own fault, but I don't regret it. It's time to clean myself up, get back into decent shape before I can even think of committing myself to someone else, it wouldn't be fair.

That's my point, it doesn't take a commitment to someone to be happy and enjoy yourself.

[Kitkat22]

Thats my point, it doesn't take a commitment to someone to be happy and enjoy yourself.

You have to work on liking yourself

[BWK10]

Just thought Id throw you guys an update. I was doing good, until I got some information about her, which caused me to go sniffing around curiously, as to why... I have no idea. However, it has given me quite a sense of "relief". I cannot explain why I feel this way, but I always need some sense of closure to a relationship. I'm not too entirely sure why, but I feel better in talking to her for the ten minutes I did the other night.

I was angry at myself for breaking NC, but forgave myself. We all make that mistake, and I realize it wasn't the best thing for me to do but in essence I really feel better about my situation. I just wanted to let you guys know I am doing good, and working on changing my life for the better, and tomorrow will be a big day in that. Hope everyone is doing good.

[Kitkat22]

Just thought Id throw you guys an update. I was doing good, until I got some information about her, which caused me to go sniffing around curiously, as to why...I have no idea. However, it has given me quite a sense of "relief". I cannot explain why I feel this way, but I always need some sense of closure to a relationship. I'm not too entirely sure why, but I feel better in talking to her for the ten minutes I did the other night.

I was angry at myself for breaking NC, but forgave myself. We all make that mistake, and I realize it wasn't the best thing for me to do but in essence I really feel better about my situation. I just wanted to let you guys know I am doing good, and working on changing my life for the better, and tomorrow will be a big day in that. Hope everyone is doing good.

Hope you're doing well also.

[BWK10]

I have been coming on this website, regularly, perhaps even a daily basis for the past year. I've read some tragic things, emotional things and happy stories on here. It's amazing to see such a minimal percentage of the world going through some of the same situations, and how people here take the time to help one another out. I just wanted to take some time and thank everyone once again for even taking the time to help myself, and others out with everything.

For anyone that has read my stories, and saw the heart break in my words and those who understand the pain of losing someone you care about, it can be absolutely devastating. But anybody going through something like what I went through, look for me for inspiration in your quest to get better. I have always hoped someone would read my story, and get inspired with how I copped with the situation, how I dealt with it, and hopefully people would learn from my mistakes.

It's a long and difficult process to overcome. I was raised by my mother, by herself since the age of 12. My parents split when I was young and have come accustomed to people who I care about leaving me. That's something I still struggle with today, that's why letting people get close to you is hard. If you read my previous posts, I let two individuals get really close to me... and the situation occurred, they both left me. I know it's hard to get back up from those things... I've lost countless people in my life who I feel were important cornerstones in my life. My father (Whom I haven't spoken too in almost 8 years), friends, and ex girlfriends. The feeling becomes all too regular, but I pick myself back up every time. Just remember, anyone who has left your life has made you who you are today.

I learned things about myself, who I am as a person through all the disappointments in my life. You need to take lessons from EVERYTHING that happens in your life. I believe you meet everybody for a reason, no matter their influence on your life whether it be for a few minutes, a few years, or the rest of your life. I never learned anything specific from my parents divorce, it wasn't my fault, I never contributed to it's demise. I think that's why my mother and I are so close. Everyone we both get close to, ends up leaving us... but we have each other. I came to accept my parents splitting up, it made me have a "rock" inside... something that couldn't be broken easily.

I met my first love (first post on here) last year. It's the first real serious relationship I have ever had, it was fantastic but good things always come to an end. I finally accepted it a few months later that it was over, until I met my next girlfriend. I learned after my first relationship when I met her, that there are other fish in the sea... good ones at that. Although things haven't worked with her either and she resents me for god knows why. I learned a lot about myself in the past year.

I guess the message I am trying to convey to everyone on here, is that never give up on happiness. I'm not sure why I had the urge to write everything that I just wrote but I want people to understand life is a journey, and for every journey there is a lesson to be learned. Some lessons, bigger than others... the important thing is to learn from not only your mistakes, but mistakes of others. Take into consideration, everything you read on here... positive and negative and learn from it. I urge you, read my story if you haven't. Look at the mistakes I made, dumb things Ive done. If only they could help one person I'd feel like I have made a difference in someone's life.

[BWK10]

It just hit me, WHY DO I CARE? I Don't ANYMORE!!

[Kitkat22]

It just hit me, WHY DO I CARE? I DONT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good for you! I'm applauding! Proud of you.:D

[BWK10]

I just, I don't know what the hell happened. I was just sitting here, and it just really hit me flat in the face. I just had a huge smile on my face... and just, I don't care anymore. I'm not sure what came over me

[Kitkat22]

I just, I don't know what the hell happened. I was just sitting here, and it just really hit me flat in the face. I just had a huge smile on my face...and just, I don't care anymore. I'm not sure what came over me

You're free that's what it is. No more blues! :D

[BWK10]

I've been keeping a "digital" journal for the past week, and wanted to share some logs with you guys. Its really helpful and hopefully inspire others to do so as well. Names have been changed.

July 1st, 2010

I thought writing a journal, to express how I feel and my attitude and being able to look back in months and maybe even years to see what I was going through, how I copped with it and fixed my emotional roller coaster I am on. It's hard to believe two people can affect and influence your life so much that it still breaks your heart to think about it. It's not only Katherine, but Samantha as well. Although I no longer love Samantha, I still care about her and she slips into my mind from time to time. I wonder how she is, how she's feelings, how Ryder is and how her family is doing. I felt very close to everyone, it was almost like a second family. Finding and meeting Katherine eased that pain, I never really thought all too much about Samantha after I met Katherine. It was like she was there to help me, she didn't care about what happened between Samantha and I. I fell in love with Katherine pretty quickly too. She was amazing, so caring and wanting to spend time with me. Things changed, and that's what we are at now. There is nothing I can do to change how either or them feel. I wouldn't take Samantha back, especially with her second child on the way with a different father. That would be too much responsibility to bare on someone else. I wish her all the best, and I will never forget her. She was the first person I had ever fell in love with and had sex with.

Katherine is another story, although I am not too sure what happened or what went wrong. There is nothing I can change with that either. I reached out to her not once, but twice and got rejected. I know it's time to move on, but the thought of her with someone other than myself isn't the worst thing in the world, rather an “inconvenience” to me. I wish her all the best, just like I wanted Samantha to be happy whether it was with or without me. I hope Katherine regrets her decision in due time, cause I would have given her the world and would have done everything to make things work with her. I'm still deeply hurt, distraught, angry, upset, disappointed and broken hearted. I'm hoping, once I re-read this entry... in a few months or whenever it may be I'll be able to say I am happy with my life. I won't ever forget Katherine, great person just doesn't know what she wants. Maybe I need to find someone without strings attached, no children and not overwhelmed extra curricular things.

July 6th, 2010

I ing hate you, for all the grief you have caused me in 5 weeks. My heart still aches, I think about you everyday when I wake up, and when I go to sleep. I wonder what your doing, who your seeing, how you are. I still shed no tears for you, as you are not worth it. Albeit, I have stopped myself from crying many times, I don't think I can shed anymore tears for you, I haven't cried since the day you left me. I'm quite proud of myself for that. I hope you couldn't eat, or sleep, and you still think about how you potentially could have ruined something that could have been so special, for years to come. I hope your mother doesn't still control you, or tell you where you can go, who you can see. For all I know, she told you to break it off with me. What a shame. It was a relief to go down and throw away everything you had ever give to me. I threw it all out, it's gone... I've tried to erase you from my entire life, although the memories will always be there. I still sometimes wonder what you have done with the card you gave me for my birthday on which I gave back to you that night. It's amazing, something as small as a card I cared about so deeply. I don't think I could have thrown that out, so it was better off with you. Someday, you will realize whether it be months of years from now how we could have had something so meaningful, deep, a connection. I would never have cheated on you, hit you, beat you, abused you like others have. Hard as it is to say, I hope someday you feel as pathetic, useless, angry and feel as much pain as I do right now.

July 8th, 2010

I don't know what had come over me the other day, but I finally just let go and I feel so much better. I no longer care for you Katherine, you're either your own or somebody else's problem now, I could careless honestly! It was an amazing feeling, I was sitting here the other night and it just hit me, why should I care about someone who was more of a burden on my life. In essence, we had our good times together but more bad then good. Your constant lies, it was ing pathetic. I no longer care. The day was great, work was fantastic had loads of laughs with my best friend and I just had a smile on my face all day and barely gave you a thought it my brain. Although their will be a special part in my heart for you, you no longer have it all... and that's your loss, not mine. Tomorrow I start my new job, and I'm excited for a busy day!

[Kitkat22]

I've been keeping a "digital" journal for the past week, and wanted to share some logs with you guys. Its really helpful and hopefully inspire others to do so as well. Names have been changed.

July 1st, 2010

I thought writing a journal, to express how I feel and my attitude and being able to look back in months and maybe even years to see what I was going through, how I copped with it and fixed my emotional roller coaster I am on. It's hard to believe two people can affect and influence your life so much that it still breaks your heart to think about it. It's not only Katherine, but Samantha as well. Although I no longer love Samantha, I still care about her and she slips into my mind from time to time. I wonder how she is, how shes feelings, how Ryder is and how her family is doing. I felt very close to everyone, it was almost like a second family. Finding and meeting Katherine eased that pain, I never really thought all too much about Samantha after I met Katherine. It was like she was there to help me, she didn't care about what happened between Samantha and I. I fell in love with Katherine pretty quickly too. She was amazing, so caring and wanting to spend time with me. Things changed, and that's what we are at now. There is nothing I can do to change how either or them feel. I wouldn't take Samantha back, especially with her second child on the way with a different father. That would be too much responsibility to bare on someone else. I wish her all the best, and I will never forget her. She was the first person I had ever fell in love with and had sex with.

Katherine is another story, although I am not too sure what happened or what went wrong. There is nothing I can change with that either. I reached out to her not once, but twice and got rejected. I know it's time to move on, but the thought of her with someone other than myself isn't the worst thing in the world, rather an “inconvenience” to me. I wish her all the best, just like I wanted Samantha to be happy whether it was with or without me. I hope Katherine regrets her decision in due time, cause I would have given her the world and would have done everything to make things work with her. I'm still deeply hurt, distraught, angry, upset, disappointed and broken hearted. I'm hoping, once I re-read this entry...in a few months or whenever it may be I'll be able to say I am happy with my life. I won't ever forget Katherine, great person just doesn't know what she wants. Maybe I need to find someone without strings attached, no children and not overwhelmed extra curricular things.

July 6th, 2010

I ing hate you, for all the grief you have caused me in 5 weeks. My heart still aches, I think about you everyday when I wake up, and when I go to sleep. I wonder what your doing, who your seeing, how you are. I still shed no tears for you, as you are not worth it. Albeit, I have stopped myself from crying many times, I don't think I can shed anymore tears for you, I haven't cried since the day you left me. I'm quite proud of myself for that. I hope you couldn't eat, or sleep, and you still think about how you potentially could have ruined something that could have been so special, for years to come. I hope your mother doesn't still control you, or tell you where you can go, who you can see. For all I know, she told you to break it off with me. What a shame. It was a relief to go down and throw away everything you had ever give to me. I threw it all out, it's gone...I've tried to erase you from my entire life, although the memories will always be there. I still sometimes wonder what you have done with the card you gave me for my birthday on which I gave back to you that night. It's amazing, something as small as a card I cared about so deeply. I don't think I could have thrown that out, so it was better off with you. Someday, you will realize whether it be months of years from now how we could have had something so meaningful, deep, a connection. I would never have cheated on you, hit you, beat you, abused you like others have. Hard as it is to say, I hope someday you feel as pathetic, useless, angry and feel as much pain as I do right now.

July 8th, 2010

I don't know what had come over me the other day, but I finally just let go and I feel so much better. I no longer care for you Katherine, you're either your own or somebody else's problem now, I could careless honestly! It was an amazing feeling, I was sitting here the other night and it just hit me, why should I care about someone who was more of a burden on my life. In essence, we had our good times together but more bad then good. Your constant lies, it was ing pathetic. I no longer care. The day was great, work was fantastic had loads of laughs with my best friend and I just had a smile on my face all day and barely gave you a thought it my brain. Although their will be a special part in my heart for you, you no longer have it all....and that's your loss, not mine. Tomorrow I start my new job, and I'm excited for a busy day!

Good Luck and have a good day. You did good.:)

[vanheart]

Good luck with your new job.

[Kitkat22]

Keep us posted. I hope we've helped. Hugs

[BWK10]

July 12th, 2010

It's been quite a hectic weekend, working the new job and my other one accounted for a lot of busy time. Not that I didn't mind. It kept my mind pretty busy and off other things. The new job is pretty good, everyone is very easy going and it's been quite a good experience to finally try something else in the work field. It's been quite tiring, working seven days a week is a lot to handle but something I need to do in order to earn that extra money I really need. Today was a good day until I saw a new picture of Katherine on POF. She's still beautiful, but she still looks heart broken and unhappy. Her fake smile looked petty at most, I can tell she isn't happy still. It was kind of a downer, seeing how beautiful she still is, and how I wish I could still hold her and call her mine. I'm not holding out hope, but I think a piece of me will always miss her. Keeping busy has been nice though, it's kept my mind elsewhere mostly. I do hope she is okay and not suffering anymore, I'm not suffering as bad anymore, I'm really happy with how things are going. I'm excited to finally finish my tattoo on Friday... and no, I won't be coloring in that single cherry blossom for you Katherine that I promised I would, just for you.