[lolob]

My boyfriend is forty and I am forty-three, is it odd that he doesn't want to have sex more than once or twice a week? I think about it often and he makes me feel unattractive by putting me off until where and when he wants it.

[mawtom]

How long have you been dating? Some people have more drive than others. What's wrong with twice a week?

[talaniman]

How long have you been dating, and why are you dating??

[Wondergirl]

Unattractive?

Your boyfriend was at his sexual peak 20 years ago. You are at your peak now. This is the fun of getting together when a couple is mature and the individuals have experienced life: communicate and compromise and find ways to enjoy each other sexually even without "having sex." Passion can be loaded into a touch or a look or a way of talking.

is it odd we don't have sex frequently enough?

Frequently enough for what? This isn't "America's Lotsa Sex Contest." Are the two of you emotionally connected?

[Devorameira]

Wondergril is right - he's passed his peak.

I don't think once or twice a week is unusual for a man his age, but if you really think he has a problem, why not suggest that he see his doctor?

There are some medications that negatively affect sex drive. Some illnesses or a low testosterone level might affect it too.

[Cat1864]

Communication. Compromise. Two words with a lot power.

How long have you been dating? How often do you see each other? Do you live together? Does he have children? Does he work long hours? Does he have a stressful job? Does he show affection/attraction in other ways than intercourse? Do you equate wanting sex with showing how much he cares?

Depending on what stresses are in his life (including a girlfriend who wants more sex) once or twice a week may be all he can manage.

Wanting sex and being able to do something about it are two different things.