 |
|
| Browse | Ask | Answer | Search | Join/Login |
|
|
||||
|
Damn, bruh.. Don't send her ANYTHING. She's playing NC too but in her own f'd up way. She's baiting you then waiting for you to come grab it. Just like fishing, bruh. Most fish bite out of curiosity such as yours. "Looks good, smells good, man I want to find out what this is!". BAM.. You're gaffed. Don't type her name even. That's just self curiosity and she's still winning because she knows you'll look. Are you really going to head into a trap when you know it's there? You're better then this, bruh.. I've got my money down on you being stronger then her. The friends route is an insult and a slap in the face. Get pissed. Use it to get you through a moment of relapse. F that. It's a trap in disguise. It's no different then talking to her about your feelings again because she knows eventually that'll be the topic of discussion and she can get her dose of ego boost out of you. If she says friends laugh at it to her and let her know it's a joke without saying it(assuming of course you're in a conversation with her) then carry on to another subject. All she has is feelings, man. I know they suck, but she has nothing more. You turn away from her and don't look back and she'll be powerless. Just remember that she's counting on you coming back so she can swat you away for an ego boost. She's full of herself/selfish and even if she doesn't know for a fact you're looking at her messages and profile she's still winning when you do. She'll know you didn't look when she hears about you doing things you always wanted to do or bumps into you and you're walking head high full of confidence, man. Smoking? Lol.. I'll have to be quite frank here. Slowing down, having one here and there, pills, patches, dip, all of it DOES NOT WORK FOR ANYTHING. Use your pissed off or hurt emotions and thoughts to stave cravings. I've had maybe 5 cravings in a week and a half and they were so minor that I shrugged them off and just got busy doing something (dishes, laundry, etc). Make sure that if you replace a craving that you do it with something physical. I tried to talk to a friend in person or on the phone when I wanted one and it sucked because your mind is working but your body is bored. Quit straight up.. Smoke without counting how many you have left and when you go for another you'll realize there's no more and you'll just have to find something else to do. I never thought I would be able to walk away from them.. especially through all of this. I smoked 2 packs a day for the first 2 weeks then I just stopped thinking about smoking and eventually I forgot to buy a pack and ran out. Went to the store and thought about how pissed off she made me that day and didn't even remember to pick some up. Still have cravings but they hurt less then the break up so those cravings took a bench. Lol.. Yeah fishing's awesome! Helps drown out some thoughts, but makes you wonder about others. It's a great way to let the thoughts flow and to concentrate on what they really mean and how to handle them.. if at all. Plus you get new pics to post and show off with lol. Who's going to believe yer depressed when holding a 120lb. Tarpon? Lol. Try to rearrange your place too, dude. Like you said, when you wake up you feel depressed when everything appears the same but she's not there. Change the room and give yourself a new morning view. I personally have been on the couch since she left lol. I'm giving her this bed and buying a new one. So tell us about this new chick! Lol |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Its OK to write stuff to get it off your chest. You may want to consider writing an angry one... hehehe! But don't send it. No point. Spend your thoughts & time on positive things. Not her. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
You really do need something better to do, and something more important to think about, beside sitting, and mind stroking (substitute the "F" word) yourself. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
 Originally Posted by FloridaFisher
Now go out there and do something else. You are not going to be cured overnight... But you are far from indifferent yet. So, go to antarctica - at least in your mind - for a while and hang out with the penguins. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Brrrrrr... Cold.. but true. Even don a penguin suit if you have to. Exactly. In your mind. Something else. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
OK, so I broke the NC... but before you all let me feel the wrath so to speak hear me out-i am not a wreck and quite fine with what transpired... even though it's not even close to what I thought. So I sent her a text (this is about a week after any of her communication attempts) just saying "hey hows it goin". She responds by saying: "Good, i have been trying to get ahold of you, where have you been?". So I explain that work has been keeping me busy and just haven't had any time for myself (a lie, but she doesn't need to know that). She than says "Oh ok, well i was wondering if you still had the red vaccuum and the big fan we had?" So at this point I'm thinking to myself... are you serious? The FB message asking how work was, the missed phone call, the text asking if I'm to good to talk, all because you want a stupid vaccuum cleaner and a fan? So I say "Umm yea i still have them, kinda want to keep them lol" and she comes back with "lol k thought id ask lol". So, if all of her attempts to reach me were solely for those things, haha well than she can p*ss right off. And if that isn't the case and she for some reason was just to afraid to say "hey i wanna know how you are doing" than she continues to show me her immaturity which for some reason I turn a blind eye to. After her last text I didn't say anything back... mainly because I have nothing to say. I thought she was interested in at the very least touching base, but I guess not. Waste of time. There has been no contact since than. I feel a lot more relieved than I did the past few days, I think mostly because now I KNOW what she was after, and it turned out to be a big waste of my past week worrying and stressing about it. I don't really feel confused, or heartbroken by this-which I guess is a sign of a bit of progress. I only feel guilt for making contact, but I think I handled it well and it could have gone a lot worse. *gets ready to be heckled* |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Vaccuum's suck. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Originally Posted by vanheart
the_original agrees : as well as fans!
Sorry couldn't resist. But seriously, you must be making progress, since you handled the contact well! :) Trust me she had another rap waiting to confuse you if you hadn't been so cool :cool: No need for guilt, as I am glad you showed yourself that you could handle YOURSELF! Don't get a big head though.;) |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Originally Posted by talaniman
Yea the guilt is subsiding rather quickly. I don't feel like I have to restart no contact... it can pretty much just continue from here on out. Haha and no I won't get a big head... I know where I stand. Just because I can handle a text doesn't mean I'm fully over anything... but I do see it as progress and I'm somewhat proud of myself that I just ignored her after her "requests" and I feel no need to pursue any further. *starts to see a shimmering white light at the end of the tunnel* |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Go for that light-enjoy your fan and your vacuumcleaner! Don't worry about any future 'rap'-as you won't be responding to any more dumb messages,right? |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Penguins brother. Penguins... :-) I know it's hard not to look back though! But at least take a peek forward and see what's there as much as you can. One day it will be clear... She is as confused as anyone about her future. But it's not your problem. Lucky you. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Originally Posted by Ash123
Things get clearer every day, I am really enjoying my new job and the people I work with, and her future quite frankly sucks. That may sound mean, but as it stands right now, she doesn't have a whole lot going for her. She needs to put in a few years worth of work for that to change at all. So do I, but in 3 months I feel I have done a lot, and who knows-maybe 3 months from now ill be a member of the canadian forces... all while she works in a gas bar :D |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Grats man! Glad to see you're doing well and things are looking up for you still! Don't let me down.. lol.. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Well... been a weird 2 weeks. First one was horrible... I took it upon myself to break NC (this would have been around April 24th) and according to her she's "soooooo happyyyyy"... so cool I guess. I haven't looked back since than though, and have stayed NC. I have also taken some small steps for myself recently. Had the army medical on the 29th which went well... all that's left is an interview which should happen this month, so I'm pretty excited for that. The new job is going well, really like my co workers, and some new girls have shown some interest... which is good for a confidence boost right now, nothing more. I went to check the mail today... and boom the mailbox is still chock full of her stuff: insurance bills, visa bills, phone bills, cards, etc. We split up at the end of January and she has had her new place for over a month now... I went in to the post office and requested that they stopped putting her mail in there... I simply don't need the constant reminders of what "was". I have a feeling this will tick her off, but I cannot stress enough how I did not do it for that reason. Was it the wrong thing to do? I figured exes don't share mailboxes... and she has had ample time between living at her parents and her new place to take care of changing her address. So I think I did the right thing but I have a feeling it will come back on me... Another thing, about 2 hours ago there's a knock on my door. Its her mom bringing me a philly cheesesteak sandwich from her work. (she knows its my favorite) Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the thought, but innapropriate no? Its nice to know she cares about me, but no matter how hard I try and fight it it stirs up so many emotions when I see her OR anyone from her family because we were so close. Is it still normal to think about her everyday this late in the game? |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
That "soo happyyy" bs is very much a front, but I know it still stings a bit.. Women can be pretty damn cold.. Glad to see you sticking to NC though, dude! You have the space now to run with it which is what you wanted when you first posted.. That's good man! Nah, I would have done it too.. Yours is yours. Her mail belongs in HER box.. No real difference between that and going to the p.o. to tell them you get your neighbors mail. If she reads into it then it's her issue. If brought up in an unavoidable situation just tell her you were getting important bills and documents that may be time urgent so you put the change in for her.. Simple. If you hadn't handled it now it'd of become a reason for her to break your NC. Lol @ the ego boost girls.. Yeah.. they help! I would continue with the being polite and brief, but if she keeps this up I would say something. Tell any of her friends or family that you appreciate the thought, but right now you need a little space to handle your business and make sure you let them know it's nothing personal. Most parents and family will understand.. specially if they liked you! Everyone's different, man.. I've read/heard that it usually takes 2 months for every year to get all this out of yer head for the most part, but you'll always have a memory of her. She was a huge part of your life and heart for 3 years, so of course you're going to think of her. The only thing that you shouldn't do it think of the what-ifs and wondering about things. A thought is a thought, but wondering is digging around for something. No one who truly cared or loved could walk away cleanly without hurt or thoughts(which is how I know her "happy" front crap is just that. Crap.). It's normal. It shows you're human. Just keep in your head that it's past. It's done. That memories are OK, but anything else is false hope and will cause pain. You're doing great so far from what I've read. Keep it up, dude.. Keep everyone posted on the services thing! And, like you said to me, if you hit up one of those chicks for a date.. lol.. Well, never mind.. We've already learned from dating in the workplace lol.. Go get them, tiger.. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Originally Posted by the_original
2) cheese steak is a nice meal. I doubt it will become a habit 3) it is NORMAL to still be thinking about her. Your emotions will go up and down. Good days and bad. But it WILL get easier... you are still getting your space. 4) I still am putting my money on you finding a girl you like even MORE than her in the coming year. A |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Original seems like a pretty killer dude.. I know he'll find someone WAY better.. Don't even worry, bruh.. Just get out there and talk and flirt with them.. You'll come across that one girl that makes the ex seem like a distant memory.. She exists somewhere in this world.. I did it dude!. I don't even believe my ex and I were right anymore! You can do it too, man! Those thoughts will soon be gone. It's such a great feeling when you rid yourself of crap feelings and figure out that there's another girl out there that's everything she was and more.. The space in your brain it frees is incredible. I really do hope your career ambitions work out for you, buddy.. I want to hear you come back with good news.. Nothing less lol.. Offer always stands on the women and beer here in Florida, bruh.. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Hey guys, Your support is very encouraging... thanks a lot guys feels good to know people out there think your at least a decent human being lol. You know what ash, I bet your right. There a tons of great women just in this town alone who have tons going for them and are cute as well. I have realized we weren't right for each other, and I give her credit, because I really do think she tried to change herself the past few years, but she can't help who she is. Oh well, better now than later. Still have some bad days,. but a lot more good ones. Sometimes she is not even the first thing on my mind when I wake up anymore-definetly improving! Fisher I'm glad to hear your getting a lot better... go back and reread some of your old posts and see how far you have come man... its quite something. Good for you! Haha I'm still waiting on that army interview, hope to find out this week what date that will be. Man if I ever make it to Florida most definitely... if you end up getting in to canada with your boys though might have to grab you a nice cold canadian beer... you know, the real stuff, haha. How's your son doing these days? Still grabbin the chicks? |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
If you go 100% NC I will GUARANTEE by this time next year you will have already fallen for another. I hope she's got the goods... better know what you are looking for. |
||||
|
|
|
||||
|
Originally Posted by Ash123
May 9'th, 2011 haha your on! I hope your right though :D |
||||
|
|
Not your question?
Ask your question
View similar questions
| Question Tools | Search this Question |
Check out some similar questions!
My girlfreind 0f 5 years has dumped me yet again for 5th time what to do ?
[ 11 Answers ]
Threads merged and edited for spelling and grammar I met my girlfriend of 5yrs in school. For 1 year we stayed apart,then she came to study in the same city where I was studying. We had decided that we would continue although we were miles apart. In the last 5 years she has dumped me 5 times,...
Pretty good horror movie, trying to find the title
[ 1 Answers ]
In this move, a teacher holds a gun to a student's head and the student pees his pants and in the same scene the teacher blows his own brains out, but gets back up. This is in the beginning of this movie which tells about three different stories.
Is five years a good time to renew our vows
[ 3 Answers ]
My husband and I have been together for 9 years and married for four. We were thinking about havinga renewel ceramony on our fifth wedding anniversary. When we got married it was in a courthouse and I was 5 months pregnant. I really want to have a wedding and over the past five years we have gone...
Girlfriend dumped me after 4 years and called me for the 1st time since.
[ 6 Answers ]
Ok I wrote a thing a while back when this 1st happened. Today she called me and we were talking. It was going normal until she said this. She said that she still loves and cares for me but doesn't know if she is still in love with me and she said she wants to think about it. I then asked...
Dumped after 5 years.
[ 8 Answers ]
We were together 5 years and engaged. We lived together 4 of the years and then as she was about to graduate Law School she dumped me. I am heart broken and feel as if my life has ended. I have finally stopped calling, texting or emailing her. I hope she will notice. Yet it seems like she is so...
View more questions Search
|
