Check out some similar questions!

gtg231h · Apr 20, 2010, 06:20 PM

My best friend and I had planned to move in together on May 1st. Since we signed the lease, we have had a lot of problems getting along. The biggest problem is that her boyfriend and I don't get along at all. I'm not sure why he doesn't like me, but I know that I have a problem with the way her treats her as well as the way she acts arount him. She's a very smart and strong girl, but when she's interacting with him she becomes a ditzy and clingy chick. We all three work together. This past weekend, I feel like he went out of his way to sabatoge me at my job, and she kind of joined in on it, though I don't know if she knew what he was doing, but she definitely gave me a hard time as well. As a result I got into a lot of trouble at work, and being very fed up with it all, I put in my two-week's notice. I also broke the lease (I'm the only one that signed it). The problem is that now her parents have moved to a house that doesn't have a bedroom for her, so she is "screwed" and she won't speak to me. I hate to lose her as a friend, but I feel like moving in together would be a mistake because her boyfriend would be over all the time and I think that the two of them would be very disrespectful of me and make me miserable (they are both much stronger personalities than I am). But also, I'm in my last year at a very hard college. I feel like the added stress would be a detriment to that, and also that I would have to work a lot more to cover rent and bills, which would also be bad for my grades. I guess what I'm looking for is to know if I did the right thing by backing out of the lease, and also what I should do to try to mend my friendship.

Kitkat22 · Apr 20, 2010, 06:30 PM

It's not up to you to mend the friendship if she and her boyfriend made your life miserable at work. A true friend wouldn't do that. If she makes the the first gesture to be friends again, than give it a chance.

Tell her exactly how you feel about the boyfriend and that's why you broke the lease. In my opinion you did the right thing. With your lessons being so hard and this year being tough, you don't need that stress in your life. Good Luck... Blessings:)

talaniman · Apr 20, 2010, 07:18 PM

You avoided a bad situation, and no need to explain further.

Good luck with your studies, you can always make new and better friends.

Kitkat22 · Apr 20, 2010, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You avoided a bad situation, and no need to explain further.

Good luck with your studies, you can always make new and better friends.

Don't feel guilty about this.. You did the right thing!:)

Devorameira · Apr 21, 2010, 09:00 AM

I think you did the right thing. If they were the cause of you getting in trouble at work, I don't blame you at all for what you did.

Why worry about her? She really isn't a friend at all if she caused or went along with her boyfriend causing the mess.

Kitkat22 · Apr 21, 2010, 12:06 PM

Originally Posted by Devorameira

I think you did the right thing. If they were the cause of you getting in trouble at work, I don't blame you at all for what you did.

Why worry about her? She really isn't a friend at all if she caused or went along with her boyfriend causing the mess.

Right now you may feel a little guilt, Don't... You don't need a friend who is two-faced and that's exactly what she is. Nice when the BF is not around and pain when he is. You're better off. :)

justcurious55 · Apr 21, 2010, 01:21 PM

Karma. That's what your friend gets for being a bad friend towards you. I'd say you were smart for avoiding what was sure to become an awful situation.

Kitkat22 · Apr 21, 2010, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by justcurious55

karma. thats what your friend gets for being a bad friend towards you. i'd say you were smart for avoiding what was sure to become an awful situation.

Long after the boyfriend has moved on to someone else... she'll be sorry she lost a good friend and I believe you are so nice, you would go back to being best friends. I'm glad you stood up for yourself... Shows you've got moxy.:) Blessings

gtg231h · Apr 21, 2010, 11:38 PM

Thanks for all the reassuring commets... it really helps a lot! It was a hard decision to make, but as the days go by, I feel better and better about it. I appreciate the support.

Lucky098 · Apr 21, 2010, 11:54 PM

I was in a very similar situation years ago.

My friend, my soon to be boyfriend and I all worked together. We all hung out.. all were friends.

My friend and I were planning on moving in together.

She, for some reason, took it upon herself to push herself out of our circle of friends once my boyfriend and I made it official. She kept saying that he hated her and didn't want her around.. which, to this day, I don't know if that's true.

You all three work together. You'll never get a break from each other. You'll never get a break from her, her boyfriend and from her and her boyfriend "bringing work home".

I think you made the right choice. Yes, she's going to be mad at you. And maybe for a long time. I just recently came into contact with my friend who bailed out of our friendship because of my boyfriend. We started talking about about 2 years ago. We're still not very good friends, not like we were before. Every once in awhile we'll talk.

Its up to you if you feel like being used. Which is kind of what it seems like. If she can't figure out that her actions hurt you, then she has no business being your friend.

I wish you luck!

Kitkat22 · Apr 22, 2010, 04:30 AM

Originally Posted by Lucky098

I was in a very similar situation years ago.

My friend, my soon to be boyfriend and I all worked together. We all hung out.. all were friends.

My friend and I were planning on moving in together.

She, for some reason, took it upon herself to push herself out of our circle of friends once my boyfriend and I made it official. She kept saying that he hated her and didnt want her around.. which, to this day, I dont know if thats true.

You all three work together. You'll never get a break from each other. You'll never get a break from her, her boyfriend and from her and her boyfriend "bringing work home".

I think you made the right choice. Yes, she's going to be mad at you. And maybe for a long time. I just recently came into contact with my friend who bailed out of our friendship because of my boyfriend. We started talking about about 2 years ago. We're still not very good friends, not like we were before. Every once in awhile we'll talk.

Its up to you if you feel like being used. Which is kind of what it seems like. If she can't figure out that her actions hurt you, then she has no business being your friend.

I wish you luck!

You did exactly the right thing... Be happy and I know you'll do well in your studies. Blessings:)