[talaniman]

Something else, almost anything, besides chasing guys, yes chasing, or trying to make a relationship happen overnight.

I just went back through all your posts and its pretty obvious yourself esteem is to tied to whether you have someone or not.

Get back to the basics of friendships, and activities, that you can enjoy, because honestly, you are a lousy confused partner for love and romance. Over time, and a bit of effort from you, and some variety, and balance in your life, you can have good clean adult fun to build something for yourself.

Until then... you will be caught in the emotional circle you are trapped in, and never get out.

[coruzzi2]

Thanks tal.

But I like this guy..
Should I just let him go?
Because I'm not steady for a relationship..
?




And don't get me wrong,
My life doesn't revolve around this stuff. I go out with my friends a lotttt (and not just party) and work and go to school. I do have a normal, healthy lifestyle. I don't just sit around and mope about love and guys. Guys to me are always just a plus.. a little something extra to have. Not the center of my life.

[talaniman]

Be real, your not even a good friend, just interested in his interest for you.

Ive been thinking he had a lack of interest in me for a while now, that's what this is all about..

That sounds like someone who wants to be pursued for romance, and there is nothing about being friends in this whole post. Be honest with yourself, Coruzzi, because no one else can, until you are.

[coruzzi2]

I wasn't talking about him..

Are you saying I should just be more of a friend to him?

I'm just so confused by him and I just want to know what's going on in his head

[Newguy2009]

Get back to the basics of friendships, and activities, that you can enjoy, because honestly, you are a lousy confused partner for love and romance. Over time, and a bit of effort from you, and some variety, and balance in your life, you can have good clean adult fun to build something for yourself.

Until then.............................you will be caught in the emotional circle you are trapped in, and never get out.

Look out Tal is on the warpath today, lol! Jokes aside, I agree, great advice Tal man!

Im going to refer to one of your posts on someone else's page. Maybe you should follow this advice...

he's probably wanting to screw around and have fun.
He wants you, probably mostly, and does like you and being around you..
but he doesn't want the bf/gf label because of the committment that goes with it..
so if he gets caught BSing or with another girl its "but you're not even my girlfriend"

.. heres what you should do..
just graduallly become more and more distant. this will show him that if he doesn't make a move, you're gonna fade away.
start to cut him off of going out so much, say you're busy with something else. gonna go out with friends. or something.
give him the impression that maybe your options are open, he wouldn't want to loose you to someone else.

But still talk to him, be nice to him.. K.I.T
guys love girls that are chill.
Act like you'll let him do his own thing.. but make it clear that that means the same rules apply to you. when this hits him, things will be a little different.

Guys love girls that are chill? That's called playing hard to get. The text messages seem to have been misconstrued. Call him up and ask him out for lunch or something. See how it goes... face to face

[coruzzi2]

I feel so dumb though.
Like I'm overthinking everything

And I feel like I chased him away
And he thinks I'm so insecure and like obsessed with him. :/

[CarrotTalker]

Try to learn something from every experience and focus on how it was a good thing that you learned a lesson!

If you don't learn a lesson and keep making the same mistake, you will end up with the same results.

I think you would be a great girlfriend to a deserving guy who is interested in more than just your body.

Trust me, guys make the same mistakes girls make. I used to over think everything as well. Heck, sometimes I still catch myself doing just that.

[coruzzi2]

I know..


But did I ruin everything?

How do I un- do this impression?
Or make it up

[Newguy2009]

You have stated that you are insecure and obsession is not always a good thing. Slow down and let nature run its course. He might show an interest, he might not. Who knows maybe you will find someone else and forget about him altogether. Vegas is a big city, I know I used to live there. There are lots of guys there. You'll find one.

[talaniman]

If your in Vegas, and can't find something else to do besides worry about one guy, your in deep do do. The idea of youth, is to be cool and have fun growing old :)

[coruzzi2]

Like I said before..


and dont get me wrong,
my life doesnt revolve around this stuff. i go out with my friends a lotttt (and not just party) and work and go to school. i do have a normal, healthy lifestyle. i dont just sit around and mope about love and guys. guys to me are always just a plus.. a little somethin extra to have. not the center of my life.



Just cause this is the only part of my life you're aware of, doesn't mean that's all it consists of.

p.s- vegas is overrated,
Epecially if you're under 21,
There's not that much to do.

[Newguy2009]

Im not putting you down and you are right, I'm not aware of your entire life. Im just saying, what's the hurry? You are young and have all the time in the world to find Mr. right. Why force the issue?

[talaniman]

So what are you trying to do with this guy?

[coruzzi2]

I know

I agree with you as well..

Thanks guys.

So what are you trying to do with this guy??

What do you mean?


I like him, and I want him to feel the same way

[talaniman]

Your trying to hard, relax, and slow your roll. People like each other, because they know each other.

You can't make someone like you, especially if you see your interest is greater than their's, but that's half the fun, if you relax, and enjoy the process of getting to know him.

What's the hurry any way? I know, a lot of questions, just want you to see for yourself you could be forcing things when you really don't have to.

[coruzzi2]

There is no hurry, I'm just impatient.. I'm going to work on that..
And ill keep you updated. :)
Thank you!
For the reality check :P

[kp2171]

i know..


but did i ruin everything?

how do i un- do this impression?
or make it up

First... stop owning that if he isn't interested, or at least if he isn't chasing you the way you'd like to be chased, that it must come down to you... you not being "right" or you "ruining everything"...

This is where your being off balance here is evident... I know this because I've done the same thing myself. What do I need to do to fix this, change this... what am I not doing right...

First... you really need to self talk yourself into firmer ground. And you can do this. It just takes time and practice and patience.

You first need to accept that its very possible to like a person who isn't going to feel the same way about you. I know we all know this is a possibility, but we often don't feel it... we intellectualize it, but our gut tells us its not OK.

Well, it is. There is some peace in knowing that its OK to like someone who may not return the favor in kind... or who just might be on a different page.

So... try to practice accepting that things might go as you want, and they might not, and that usually YOU don't have complete control over either situation.

I've been flat out head over heels for a girl when it was just really, really bad timing. It happens. She wasn't ready for me. I was too ready for her. If we'd have met a few years later, I think we'd have burned the city down, starting in the bedroom. k. maybe that's a little dramatic... but the vibe was really there... life was just in the way and she wasn't ready for me yet. Poo.

Uh... whatthehellwasisaying... ah yeah... once you accept that this isn't something to be spending so much energy on, then decide what you are going to do about it... decide... do it... and walk away from it...

Constantly asking should I call, shouldn't I, is this normal, is it OK, what's the next move, was that the wrong move... keeps you, again, off balance.

So... make a decision about how hard you are willing to work and stick to it. Stop worrying about whether one moment or event screws everything up... my position is if the wheels come off that easily... id rather have it happen sooner than later.

So... I know its hard to be at peace with "maybe im going to not be with someone for a while"... but try to be.

I went through one maddening stretch after a Big Love breakup where I didn't date for damn near a year and a half. Sure... I tried a couple of times, but nothing stuck. I probably wasn't ready anyway... then, of course, when I finally was ready and there was someone I was really interested in... well, there were suddenly three great women all interested in me. Life is just wacked like that. Why couldn't one of them have been around when I was wanting someone to chase a bit?

Oh well. Like I said, life is just wacked like that.

Is there any anxiousness on your side about break coming up and what might happen with this relationship? Summer isn't but less than a dozen weeks away...

[coruzzi2]

i tried a couple of times, but nothing stuck. i probably wasnt ready anyway... then, of course, when i finally was ready and there was someone i was really interested in... well, there were suddenly three great women all interested in me. life is just wacked like that. why couldnt one of them have been around when i was wanting someone to chase a bit?

Yep.. I feel you on that one.. its always feast or famine.. I hate it!

But yeah, thanks. Good advice. I really do feel like I'm starting to get over him.. not over him over him but you know, like not so... uptight and got to have him right now. So it wouldn't be hard for me to wean off him right now.. and I'm going to just go with the flow.. and stop trying to beat fate and nature to the punch. This way, I'll be happy no matter what becasuse either a.) Ill get him in the end, and be happy. Or b.) I won't, and be happy.. cause I will be completely over him by then. That's what it comes down to.. and of course I have my options open..


But the question is.. should I distance myself, and let him put some effort in? Or kind of show that I'm interested.. or something between..

is there any anxiousness on your side about break coming up and what might happen with this relationship? summer isnt but less than a dozen weeks away...

Answer: NOPE

[CarrotTalker]

You should simply distance yourself.

[talaniman]

I would be doing my thing, and see what happens with that, and not even worry what he is doing, because if he were that interested, he would let you know.

That's what most guys would do, except the ones that think their game is too tight to work for a ladies attention, and company.