[Caledor]

When I was in high school, I was a very outgoing person and had a lot of friends. Right after high school I started a relationship with a very jealous and emotionally abusive girl. During our 3 year relationship I distanced myself from all my friends because she only wanted me to be with her and her friends. When the relationship ended I no longer had any friends and I became extremely depressed.

I went to a psychiatrist but it never really helped. I got some antidepressants and that worked for a while. I started seeing another girl, but my ex-girlfriend would find out where we were and show up. So that didn't work out.

In the 8 years since then, I made very few friends and basically have been depressed and reclusive.

I was feeling pretty good this last summer, I got a new job and was more of my old happy self. I made some new friends and started dating someone. Everything seemed to be going pretty good.

My job became very draining and I started to become moody and depressed. I kind of dumped my friends and would only do things with my new girlfriend. She had issues connecting to people, and a fear of intimacy. That combined with my neediness, depression and Valentines day ended our relationship.

I quit my job, which has relieved a lot of my stress. I met a few people, but I never know what to say anymore. I pretty much lost all my social skills. My conversations always just kind of come to a halt. I'm still pretty depressed and that also has a lot to do with it.

So how do I talk to people without coming off boring and depressing when I don't really have anything to say.

[KBC]

Yourself esteem is low right now, and probably has been for a while.

The depression is still in you.. that can be scene by your writing.

Are you still on the medications,seeing the psychiatrist?If not,I would go back pronto.

The relationships are seemingly co-dependent in nature,are you familiar with co-dependency?

There are many sites online where you can study this behavior.

Instead of saying that you can't speak to others, imagine what it would be like if you thought you CAN speak to others, a simple change of 1 word.

To constantly downplay yourself(as depression will make you do)you need to find a way to overcome the depression and be the person you want to be,what you expect of yourself,not the downer,depressed person you are right now.

Return here and tell us where you are at,emotionally/mentally,etc, there are many here who can add their perspective into this problem.

Always remember,a problem shared is a problem halved!

[Caledor]

I know I'm very depressed and myself esteem has been tied into these relationships. I don't think my first relationship started co-dependent, but it became that way. I lost my trust in people and became needy because of things she would say and do to me.

I'm still pretty broken up about this last relationship. She seemed to be waiting for this fantasy life to come and closed herself off emotionally. I tried to talk to her about this, but she would always change the subject, or suddenly have to go somewhere. While this hasn't made me as depressed as the end of my first relationship, it has done much more damage to myself esteem.

I haven't had any medications in 8 years, and I stopped seeing the psychiatrist at the same time. I don't have any money to spend on this stuff because I quit my job and I have to save it to pay my bills until I get a new one.

[Hathor]

Speaking as a depressed person with different problems, I know it's hard to break the vicious cycle (as in being too afraid of saying the wrong thing to people and subsequently isolating yourself even further). But you don't have to break it all at once. Steps by steps, no pressure on yourself. Remember one important thing, WHO CARES if you talk weird. If they have problems with you being weird then that's their problems. Start with a really casual small talk. No need to force it, let it come out naturally. If you don't have anything to say, sometimes silence isn't too bad. Little by little, a couple of more convos each day, 1 new convos partner everyday and at least 1 new friend every week. (I can say but I can't do it yet. I don't have problems attracting people, just problems keeping them around.)

I can say that your ex's are real bad influences just as my (ex?) boyfriend is. But I understand also that for a depressed person desperate for someone to listen to and be around for, one tends to use a significant other as a rock/happiness provider. Losing them might feel like losing the only person you have or the only chance of happiness. But that's not true. Being freshly single is like taking a nice walk in the park after 3 days in your room. You leave your comfort zone, you don't want to move your body, you just want to eat and sleep. But after getting the sunshine and seeing all the greeny trees and pretty flowers, you're glad you're out there. And you'd wish you hadn't missed out on these nice things.

I hope it helps.

[KBC]

Money shouldn't be a factor for you as to seeing a therapist, I have found free help for more than 12 people,online,and from 4 different countries, it just takes a search of your location and then it's up to you, if you want this to end or stay in the chaos.

[Clough]

Hi, Caledor!

Okay, I'm new to your thread. You will find people with whom you can communicate with here. KBC is acually a personal friend of mine. His advice is as good as gold!

Please do just keep communicating here!

Thanks!

[mfoster410]

I feel the same way as you bro . The circumstances are a little different but it's the same jist of things. I was also in a long term relationship (5 years) and the guy I was with cheated on me for 4 and half of the 5 years. This through me in a massive depression and to be honest I never bounced back myself. That was 2 years ago.

[mike1985]

Hello I need help as well
I am very worried about myself lately..
I can't keep anyone around me nobody from my friends is picking up the phone when I call them
I feel like my brain is not working as it was a few years back
Me and my girlfriend broke up 2 years ago
Since then I haven't had a serious relationship

The place where I work..
I see the same people every day for 4 years now
I don't talk to nobody because I can't communicate with nobody
I don't know what's wrong with me.