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nbz85 · Feb 28, 2010, 08:01 PM

My boyfriend and I were discussing past relationships when he stopped me and started to yell at me stating that I did NOT tell him about one of the guys. I know for a fact that I did, I remember the conversation clearly but he is so set saying that I never told him about this guy and all I said about the guy was that he liked me (smh).
I feel as if I should be waving my white flag because I have already done enough by continuing to explain to him that we did talk about it and I did mention it to him but it seems as if he doesn't want to hear it and is so set on me being a "liar" (he's saying that I'm lyin about saying I told him about the guy already)

What should I do? Give him space? Wait for him to reach out? I don't want to contact him first because I already stepped out of my character by trying to explain PLENTY of times, I respect myself and I will not admit to something I did not do...

:(

Alty · Feb 28, 2010, 08:08 PM

This is tough because he obviously doesn't believe you and he won't back down about it.

I would talk to him, calmly, tell him that you know that you told him about this but obviously he doesn't remember or doesn't believe you, there's nothing you can do about that. Tell him that you refuse to admit to something that you didn't do and if he cares about you at all then he should give you the benefit of the doubt instead of calling you a liar.

Ask him why he thinks you'd lie about it?

I would also tell him that this is really bothering you and the fact that he's taken it this far is a sure sign that your relationship is not stable. If he doesn't trust you then what hope do the two of you have of staying together?

It's time for him to let it go or leave.

Sorry that you have to go through this. I've been there too and I ended up breaking up the guy. I knew that I didn't do what he said and I wouldn't back down. The fact that he wouldn't accept my word for it told me what kind of guy he was and I wasn't willing to put up with that.

I hope you can work it out. Good luck.

nbz85 · Feb 28, 2010, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

This is tough because he obviously doesn't believe you and he won't back down about it.

I would talk to him, calmly, tell him that you know that you told him about this but obviously he doesn't remember or doesn't believe you, there's nothing you can do about that. Tell him that you refuse to admit to something that you didn't do and if he cares about you at all then he should give you the benefit of the doubt instead of calling you a liar.

Ask him why he thinks you'd lie about it?

I would also tell him that this is really bothering you and the fact that he's taken it this far is a sure sign that your relationship is not stable. If he doesn't trust you then what hope do the two of you have of staying together?

It's time for him to let it go or leave.

Sorry that you have to go through this. I've been there too and I ended up breaking up the guy. I knew that I didn't do what he said and I wouldn't back down. The fact that he wouldn't accept my word for it told me what kind of guy he was and I wasn't willing to put up with that.

I hope you can work it out. Good luck.

:( Thank you so much, do you think I should just wait for him to contact me (if he does) and THEN say what you said because I feel after everything I have done already in this situation I would look needy if I contact him to try to talk about it

ohsohappy · Feb 28, 2010, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by nbz85

:( Thank you so much, do you think i should just wait for him to contact me (if he does) and THEN say what you said because i feel after everything i have done already in this situation i would look needy if i contact him to try to talk about it

I say trust your instincts in this situation.

dynocompe · Feb 28, 2010, 08:28 PM

I think this is ridiculious! Shouldn't matter if you told him before or not, your telling him now, so what's the difference. If you never told him before, obviously the guy never left that big of a impression that you remembered him. Even though you told him. Just explain that to him! Sometimes you have to agree to disagree! He seems to be convinced he never knew, and you are convinced you did tell him. So both of you have got to get over this small issue which is pretty ridiculious to be fighting over in the first place right?
So you could maybe tell him, that you are sure you told him, if you didn't tell him, you just told him now, and you wouldn't of forgot this guy out on purpose to hide it, but that is just how little he has an affect on you. And if he can't get over it, then you two will have much bigger problems in the future that you will obviously not be bale to work through

talaniman · Feb 28, 2010, 09:16 PM

If he wants to have a hissy fit, and be nasty for nothing, that may be something to pay attention to.

Naw, he owes you an apology, but you better keep your eyes open as this may be a warning of his true colors.

I personally wouldn't wait for someone to get over there stupid self, but its your call.

Enigma1999 · Feb 28, 2010, 09:24 PM

See, I don't really understand why people have to talk about their past relationships. Don't get me wrong, there are couples who are OK with it and have anopen mind and except that the past is the past. Then there are others (like me) who don't want to know what he did in his past.

He really should just get over it! You did nothing wrong according to your story. Your past is your past and his past is his past.

dynocompe · Feb 28, 2010, 10:04 PM

If this boothers him this much, he sounds really insecure! He can't make your future better than your past was or what?