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    Tree_Hugger's Avatar
    Tree_Hugger Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 31, 2010, 06:03 PM
    Annoying things my boyfriend and I fight about...
    My boyfriend always wants to go bowling or play pool. I don't like these activities. And I think it would be really boring. Since I'm not good at pool or bowling while he is very good at them both. And it would only be me and him. I have no interest in learning to play pool or bowling (guess that makes me boring).

    Anyway, do you think that I should just suffer through it and play pool with him? Or even bowling?

    He seems to think that we only do things that I want to do. Though I only ever suggest going to a restaurant, movie theater or shopping for groceries. In my opinion these are neutral things to go do. But according to him going to the movie theater is "my choice" and we never do what he wants. So he makes it out to be that I'm a controlling girlfriend. But it's not like he complains about going to the movie theaters. We never go see girly movies just popular movies he likes. I like them too. People eat out, see movies and go shopping. These are common things to do. "My choices" would be attending a yoga, kitting or art class.

    Anyway don't you think it's silly that he insists that going to the movie theater or eating out is "my activity"?
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #2

    Jan 31, 2010, 06:34 PM

    Relationships are about compromise. Maybe he wants to take you to show off his skills. I think that you both should take turns deciding on what to do, where to go. I am sure that he isn't crazy about ALL the places that you want to go to. So, here lies the compromising.

    Good luck, and just be patient.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 31, 2010, 07:04 PM
    Compromise.

    Take turns deciding what activity you want to do together.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jan 31, 2010, 07:10 PM

    Yep, if you can't enjoy doing things he likes, or at least want to do things with him, you have the wrong boyfriend.

    You go with him, he goes with you to things you life. Or he will just end up going without you
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Jan 31, 2010, 08:51 PM

    Communication and compromise. It sounds like there is a lot 'your' and 'my' activities that are getting pushed aside and the 'our' activities are getting old and boring.

    Yes, people go to movies and eat, but they also go to watch their mate bowl or play pool; have fun attempting to fly a kite; play softball; go dancing; to see a play at the community theater; or a thousand other things.

    Have you tried bowling or pool? Has he tried Yoga or an art class? You don't really know how much fun something can be until actually give it a chance and let yourself get involved.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Feb 2, 2010, 11:37 AM

    I think it helps to have some idea of what YOU like to do when he asks. Hard to compromise when you don't tell him what YOU WANT to do.

    From what you wrote,
    Though I only ever suggest going to a restaurant, movie theater or shopping for groceries. In my opinion these are neutral things to go do.
    Have a specific thing so there can be no misunderstanding about what YOU like, and not just neutral stuff.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #7

    Feb 2, 2010, 12:22 PM

    For most people, going shopping is not something fun to do. Perhaps pick a day you do what you want, and then he picks something he wants.

    Compromise, it's a key to any relationship
    Tree_Hugger's Avatar
    Tree_Hugger Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Feb 2, 2010, 04:53 PM

    Thanks so much to everyone who gave me advice!

    It seems that all of you believe I should compromise. And it does make sense to do so.

    So we worked it out. We are going bowling this weekend. And hiking the next weekend. So thanks for your help!

    Guess I get so emotional when we fight that I don't see the common sense solutions so clearly. ^.^ Hope you have a great day!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #9

    Feb 2, 2010, 05:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Tree_Hugger View Post
    Thanks so much to everyone who gave me advice!

    It seems that all of you believe I should compromise. And it does make sense to do so.

    So we worked it out. We are going bowling this weekend. And hiking the next weekend. So thanks for your help!

    Guess I get so emotional when we fight that I don't see the common sense solutions so clearly. ^.^ Hope you have a great day!
    I hope you both have fun. :)

    Sometimes, it takes a fresh set of eyes.

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