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    LJDK's Avatar
    LJDK Posts: 281, Reputation: 25
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    #1

    Jan 14, 2010, 07:45 AM
    To early for sex toys?
    Hi.

    Me and my fiancé have a great sex life. All is well on the relationship front.
    I showed her this cool sex toy. It's a ring you place over the base of your penis, and this rod coming out, so if she rides on top it vibrates and will stimulate her .

    I am just scared of one thing. That its too early for such things, and she might like it so much that we never get to have sex without toys ever again. Can this happen?

    I don't want to open pandoras box, but this thing looks like it could be a ton of fun for both of us.

    Hmmm... this thread answered my question. It happened to this poor dude discussed in this thread.
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ys-330503.html

    Sigh.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Jan 14, 2010, 08:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by LJDK View Post
    I am just scared of one thing. That its too early for such things, and she might like it so much that we never get to have sex without toys ever again. Can this happen?
    Hello L:

    Yeah, it's too early.. If she falls in love with a toy, you don't want it to happen now - you want it to happen when she's 60. I'd hold off.

    excon
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #3

    Jan 14, 2010, 09:11 AM

    Frankly, I sometimes NEED a toy to get off.

    It has NOTHING to do with liking or not liking "vanilla" sex.

    Why not ask HER what she thinks?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Jan 14, 2010, 09:38 AM

    As long as there's discussion then bringing toys into the bedroom isn't a problem. It's like anything else, use in moderation. ;)

    I love toys. Sometimes it's fun to add a little something to spice things up. Do we use them every time? No.

    So talk to her, ask her how she feels about it. Remember, communication is key in a relationship. If you have that, then you're one step ahead of most. :)
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #5

    Jan 14, 2010, 11:36 AM

    Remember that your relationship is unique to you and her. It is not the same as that other guy's relationship. So, think about what you read and let it show you what discussion points you want to bring up in a conversation with girlfriend, but do not project his problems into your relationship.

    Personal experience: some toys are great to play with every now and then. Some look interesting, but turn out to be uncomfortable to use. So, you could end up with a toy that doesn't live up to the expectations or you both could really enjoy it.

    I agree that you should talk to her. If nothing else, the conversation can be turned into ideas and fantasies.
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #6

    Jan 14, 2010, 11:53 AM

    My wife and I use toys some are cool some are stupid some are uncomfortable as Cat said. I travel quite a bit so she bought this make your own toy kit. It comes with everything you need to make a toy from your little buddy. She loves it and it was fun to make. If you go that route may I suggest buying two of the kits (they are 20 bucks each) the first time it came out all wrong.
    LJDK's Avatar
    LJDK Posts: 281, Reputation: 25
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    #7

    Jan 14, 2010, 11:29 PM

    We had a discussion and I raised the point where I am scared she likes it so much we can't have vanilla sex after that. She told me she does not want to try it as she prefers our sex life to be intimate and not just about getting off. And she feels that it might make our sex life dirty and she would prefer it normal rather than kinky.

    So I guess I will postpone the notion of getting toys.

    Cat1864 : what you mentioned is one of biggest flaws, that is to project others problems into my own relationship. But that's another story all together.

    Thank you all for the input. Guess these things are better discussed with our partners.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #8

    Jan 15, 2010, 10:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by LJDK View Post
    Thank you all for the input. Guess these things are better discussed with our partners.
    You're welcome.

    It really is better to discuss things. I am glad you are learning that. :)

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