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Enigma1999 · Dec 11, 2009, 06:01 PM

Hello again Kdogg,

Do you guys ever try role playing? Maybe you should pretend to be another man, and vice versa. There are other ways to spice up your bedroom life, then to go into the arms of another..

Maybe you need to take the role playing to another level, a deeper level... That is if you role play to begin with?

ohsohappy · Dec 11, 2009, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

Hello again Kdogg,

Do you guys ever try role playing?? Maybe you should pretend to be another man, and vice versa. There are other ways to spice up your bedroom life, then to go into the arms of another..

Maybe you need to take the role playing to another level, a deeper level...That is if you role play to begin with??

That's a much more reasonable alternative.

kdogg804 · Dec 11, 2009, 06:05 PM

HA HA OK... Thank you... I think... I am just asking about the guy... He has been a good friend and has not been rude or inappropriate to either of us... EVER! We have been to a local party place on the river before and have seen each other semi- nude several times... My wife finds him appealing and she trusts him as much as I do... Do you think it will work out or not?

kdogg804 · Dec 11, 2009, 06:07 PM

We tried role playing... Neither of us could stop laughing enough to take it seriously... Thanks anyway! :-D

Enigma1999 · Dec 11, 2009, 06:11 PM

Hello again Kdogg,

I don't know! I don't know any of the three of you.

All I do know, is that YOUR wife finds this guy "appealing" and that right there doesn't sit right with me...

I find other men sexy, BUT, if I am in a relationship, I don't push for threesomes.

To each is own though. Good luck.

Enigma1999 · Dec 11, 2009, 06:13 PM

Well, whatkind of role playing did you do? I mean, you guys didn't dress up as clowns, did you? Why the laughing?

J_9 · Dec 11, 2009, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by kdogg804

actually.... we work in EMS... We have tests done MONTHLY due to the high concern of swine flu and all... we get the full work up... thanks anyways for your concern...

That doesn't fly for me. I'm an RN and I get tested monthly also due to H1N1 (Swine Flu). That test has NOTHING to do with STDs. We, as medical professionals, do NOT get tested monthly for STDs.

friend4u178 · Dec 11, 2009, 06:59 PM

If all your trying to do is spice up your sex life I can think far better options than crossing swords with a FRIEND that your wife finds appealing.
But hey that's just me.

ohsohappy · Dec 11, 2009, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

If all your trying to do is spice up your sex life I can think far better options than crossing swords with a FRIEND that your wife finds appealing.
But hey that's just me.

You never let them touch!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWupe...rom=PL&index=7

Synnen · Dec 12, 2009, 11:07 AM

/sigh

Such a controversial subject.

Rather than judging the OP, though, I'll tell him how to do it--which is what he asked.

First--sit down with your wife and have SEVERAL very open and honest conversations about sex with other people. Discuss what IS and is NOT okay in your marriage. Define the rules for any kind of intimacy outside of your marriage. Please keep in mind things like "what if things go wrong, or one of us feels weird?" and "what happens if you get YOUR threesome, but then freak out at MY threesome?" If you can't talk about EVERY aspect of this, it WILL fail, and your marriage will be torn apart.

Next, invite the guy to join you both in a private setting--have him over for dinner and a movie or something. This is NOT something you discuss in a public place.

There's no really good way to approach the subject if he has no clue it's coming. I suggest that the THREE of you become good friends outside of work, and work on having a good FRIENDSHIP with this person before you even THINK about approaching him for sex. Of course, I'd say this about ANYONE asking another person for sex, not just a married couple asking a single guy.

Then... sit down with him and discuss EVERY aspect of what you are proposing. Let him know the rules that you've defined in your marriage, and let him define for you what HIS rules are. Hash out rules that work for all three of you.

Look--I've done both kinds of threesomes, with my husband. It's created some very wonderful memories--but also some very hurtful ones, and some situations where our marriage has nearly crumbled--rules or no rules, you can't change or predict how people will FEEL.

If you and your wife have perfect trust and perfect communication, this could work. I do suggest someone NOT at work, though--that could backfire in way too many ways.

excon · Dec 12, 2009, 11:21 AM

Hello k:

Doing a threesome with a guy from work is asking for trouble... Oh, it COULD work out, and it COULD be very cool.. But, if it DOESN'T, you work with the guy for crying out loud... In addition to your boring sex life, you don't need to be unemployed too...

So, if you want a threesome, go to a club or a party where hooking up ANONYMOUSLY happens. I'm sure she could find somebody attractive there...

STD's? Well, if you venture out no matter with WHOM, you take that risk. Would I do it? Yup.

excon

sandalwood7 · Dec 12, 2009, 06:35 PM

One thing that I have learnt form my past through some very harsh/hard experiences is to KEEP MY SOCIAL LIFE Separate FROM WORK. Repercussions from gping ahead with this could be far beyond anything that you comprehend right now... (so many outcomes are possible you can't even consider them all but many are bad). Even the outcome of merely enquiring about it could be detrimental for you.

Don't SCREW THE CREW!

Also, I know that many straight men are happy to have a threesome with 2 women, but would be closed to the idea of involving a man. Although many people have threesomes and are open to the idea, you really never know what people think in their private minds... he might be really really conservative who knows?

Regarding some other posts mentioning morality (everyones morality is their own. It is hard to argue that any consensual exchange between parties is morally wrong). So I wouldn't be worried about people saying that this is immoral, if it is within your realms of acceptability and you treat others with respect. The only context that would make this potentially pleasurable experience immoral is a religious one (blaaaah!) or if someone is forced against their will to partake in this!

Soulbeliever666 · Dec 13, 2009, 02:24 AM

You need to think about what it could do to your marrage/relationship and you have to ask yourself why your fantasizing about someone else or your other half is then maybe the relationship is going a bit stale?

Just remember there is a differents between real life and fantasy and sometimes when they cross each other they can cause complications and sometimes ends in disaster.

Sometimes things are left as fantasy.

But on a personal note I'd be outraged if my partner wanted a threesome in fact I'd leave because I know I'm not fulling them.

Synnen · Dec 13, 2009, 09:01 PM

I always find it amusing that people think that threesomes mean that their partner isn't enough.

Those same people better never be using TOYS--because their partner isn't enough if they are.

That's not the POINT of a threesome--that your partner isn't enough, I mean. The problem is that most people can't turn off their possessiveness and jealousy--and if that works in THEIR relationship, GREAT! Don't have a threesome then!

If, however, you have an open and honest relationship, with absolute trust--and I say absolute because you HAVE to trust that they will tell you the truth about their feelings before, during, and after the experience--then it CAN work. It's not NECESSARY to have a threesome to have a good sex life or relationship--but it CAN be fun.

This is one aspect of sexuality that it truly bothers me that people judge. Yeah, it might not work for you---but anal sex might not work for you, and you wouldn't condemn people or call them immoral for trying it. Warning people about the possible problems involved with a threesome is GREAT--I do it myself most of the time, because MOST people asking about it aren't in the right frame of mind about it to even risk it. This is, however, one of those few times where the OP seems to have the right kind of relationship with his partner to begin with. It works for the right couples, and only THEY can decide what's right for THEIR relationship.

Right and wrong have no place in this conversation, nor do morals. If you want to discuss the morals of threesomes, go do it on the religious boards.

The ONLY thing wrong in their thinking, to me, is that they're considering someone from work, and that's just a bad idea because it could ruin careers.

smoothy · Dec 14, 2009, 06:40 AM

IF you have a threesome... NEVER EVER do it with a coworker. YOu never have relationships with coworkers unless you want trouble... because trouble WILL come eventually. That's 30 years of seeing that happen speaking.

Now as has been said you might be opening a can of worms actually having it even with someone you don't see everyday. Not a lot of couples are really strong enough for that. But I have to leave that up to you to determine. Just be aware of it before you make that step past fantasy.

I've done it a few times... but that was with girlfriends and that was before I got married. (no the wife wasn't one of THOSE girlfriends), totally different dynamic at play when you are married.

Cat1864 · Dec 14, 2009, 06:50 AM

I don't think I have seen this question asked, yet. Is he in a relationship?

Single does not necessarily mean that he isn't dating or seeing someone exclusively. It means he isn't married.

IF he is in a relationship, then HER/HIS feelings have to taken into consideration also.

friend4u178 · Dec 14, 2009, 03:20 PM

I understand exactly where Synn is coming from and agree that we all have different tastes , whatever floats your boat etc.

However the 2 BIG Red Flags in all this to me is like many have said he is a co-worker and that can be avoided and should be , the other real BIG Red Flag to me and I've mentioned this before is the fact that she finds him appealing , I mean seriously why would you risk it??

slapshot_oi · Dec 14, 2009, 03:44 PM

Your wife is suggesting you bring home another man--which is weird all by itself--that you work with indicates to me she doesn't care about your job status, and that's pretty important.

Whether that guy is cool with it, if someone overhears you or if things don't go as planned and he refuses and tells another co-worker, don't be surprised if you're taking vacation time earlier than expected.

And really, this could fall under sexual harassment in the work-place. Ya this guy might trust you and not press charges, but other co-workers may not and if they feel uncomfortable working around you, guess who's leaving. They're pretty strict these days, don't risk it.