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crissarie123 · Nov 30, 2009, 12:55 AM

I understand all your points of view, guys, but what if it's not about her? I know this might be a kinda-out-there theory, but hear me out: what if she really didn't feel anything for you, whatislove? Look at both sides. What if--by some microscopic chance-- she broke up with you because she didn't love you, and she didn't want to end up hurting you more if you got deeper into the relationship? Maybe there's a possibility that she still really cares for you (which is extremely different than love).
I'm not trying to lead you in any direction, but if you want to try and keep your connection to her, even if it's just as friends, go for it. If you thinnk it's better to cut the cord, do that. You seem like you really like her, and I understand what you're going through. Don't let anyone else's opinions change your heart's.
(sorry for sounding so much like a girl)-crissa

paxe · Nov 30, 2009, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by crissarie123

i understand all your points of view, guys, but what if it's not about her? i know this might be a kinda-out-there theory, but hear me out: what if she really didn't feel anything for you, whatislove? look at both sides. what if--by some microscopic chance-- she broke up with you because she didn't love you, and she didn't want to end up hurting you more if you got deeper into the relationship? maybe there's a possibility that she still really cares for you (which is extremely different than love).
i'm not trying to lead you in any direction, but if you want to try and keep your connection to her, even if it's just as friends, go for it. if you thinnk it's better to cut the cord, do that. you seem like you really like her, and i understand what you're going through. don't let anyone else's opinions change your heart's.
(sorry for sounding so much like a girl)-crissa

Bad advice. I don't know what your age is but you don't seem to have too much experience (no pun intended). If she actually stay friends with her, it will delay the time to heal and to eventually find someone he really like. I mean it hurts now, but it will hurt more every time you speak to her. What happens when she will have a new boyfriend? Will you still stay as friend?

I say be a man, grow some and apply NC right now. There is a whole world out there, and plenty of fish to chose from so get your a$$ moving.

whatislove · Nov 30, 2009, 03:24 PM

I guess its like I'm holding on when there's nothing to be held onto...
Though I still miss her and want to talk to her everyday...

paxe · Nov 30, 2009, 04:19 PM

Yea but you shouldn't do it and you should learn to let go. Look, the more time you take contacting her the more in pain you will be. Also the more you will take time to heal.

DON'T BREAK NC AT ANY COSTS!

Devorameira · Nov 30, 2009, 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by whatislove

i guess its like im holding on when theres nothing to be held onto...
though i still miss her and want to talk to her everyday...

You are right - it is like holding on when there's nothing to hold on to - It's time to move on and make a new life. There's another lady out there for you, but you're not going to find her if you don't get off your backside and look for her! :)

whatislove · Dec 1, 2009, 04:55 PM

I need help. I can't think of dozen of reasons to hold on...
But I could not think of any that I should let go?
I love her...
But deep down there I know I got to let go, but I just cant..

bjohnrupp · Dec 1, 2009, 07:10 PM

Hey man like I said- my fiancé said the same thing as your girl- "she said she has no feelings for me anymore"... just think about what are girls said- they feel nothing.

That right there should help you to move on. I mean they just don't care at all anymore. Do you deserve better than that? Your damn right you do.

Trust me I miss my girl like crazy but the sad thing is they don't care about us. Maybe a small part of them does just because of the history we shared.

What you need to do is break away from her- otherwise you will be stuck in a rut. Maybe down the road you can answer her text( year from now) but would you really be OK with talking to her if she's doing some other guy or in love with someone else at that time?

paxe · Dec 1, 2009, 07:31 PM

Reasons to letting go:
1. She broke up with you
2. She doesn't want to be with you
3. There is other fish in the sea
4. Her loss, your gain
5. You need to be selfish and take care of yourself
And the most important
6. You deserve better

whatislove · Dec 1, 2009, 10:39 PM

I realize my stubbornness won't lead me anywhere, as much as I'm already lost in the wilds right now =/
I don't even know, maybe in time, the fog will clear up, then ill find my way...

bjohnrupp · Dec 2, 2009, 06:03 AM

Are you going to keep being in contact with your ex? Don't help her relieve her guilt anymore- she doesn't deserve your attention.

whatislove · Dec 5, 2009, 02:30 AM

I haven't initiated in the past 2 days. I guess that's a good start...

amicon · Dec 5, 2009, 02:40 AM

Yes that is good. I hope you're starting to feel a bit better.

bjohnrupp · Dec 5, 2009, 11:51 AM

OK so 2 days is a start - now go for 2 weeks. I mean contacting someone that has no feelings for you anymore is the equivalent of torturing yourself. Its like you're grasping at straws. You're going to have to let go and put it in your head that its over and ACCEPT that its over. That's the key- accepting that its done. I know how hard it is but you have to do it or its going to hurt every time you two text each other.