[emopunk7]

Wow... that could be right... I barely cried in the last 2 months... maybe twice... maybe this was meant to happen after all. I hold no hate towards her but I feel like if I don't keep her in memory then I am giving up on her. And the love I have makes it hard to give up... But as long as I know that its not out of hate but just to know that it is time, maybe its time for me to give up. That's hard because I never give up. I really tried so hard. I get so upset why she betrayed me and did that... and although I get upset for not having enough patience, she shouldn't have betrayed me over 3 times. And I shouldn't feel at fault because had she not done that we would still be fine. Maybe its time for me to give up altogether.

[rockie100]

You are coming along just fine...

What made you change your mind on painting the room?

[2ndTime]

Good luck emopunk7! You just started a healing process.

[Something_Here]

It's up and down emopunk. And maybe it would help not to think of it as giving up? Maybe you could think of it as changing your goals? Your goal now could be to build a new life without her. I don't know, just my 2 cents. Hope you feel better :)

[emopunk7]

I'm feeling a little down... too many memories.

[Something_Here]

When I'm like that, I usually listen to sad music, cry to get it out, and then try to distract myself; listen to music, watch a movie, talk to a friend (about something unrelated), whatever that helps take your mind off it.

[emopunk7]

I took a shower and I feel a little better. I'm going to register for college now.

[emopunk7]

To hell with these feelings! My ex lied to me about sleeping and ignored me while I was working and worried. That's not being insecure... If anybodies significant other said they were going to sleep and you found out they were partying, YOU would be pissed especially after talking about not doing that several times! I shouldn't feel pity. She hurt me all those hours and many times... She just didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. So to hell with these feelings, right?

[Young_Cardinal]

Hey man hang in there, I'm going through a breakup now too
We got to realize these girls just don't care so screw it, just got to grind through the days somehow
p.s. nice job for applying for college

[Cat1864]

I took a shower and I feel a little better. I'm going to register for college now.

What are you thinking about majoring in?

[emopunk7]

I just declared my major in Accounting.

[Young_Cardinal]

Jesus your going to make a lot of money lol

[Cat1864]

I just declared my major in Accounting.

I am almost surprised that you didn't go for design of some type. However, I think accounting will a good choice. :)

[emopunk7]

I always wanted to be an architect but the school is like $40,000 year... too much money times 4. Not many jobs that pay much either and not many jobs period. I love numbers so accounting is my back up.

[emopunk7]

To hell with these feelings! My ex lied to me about sleeping and ignored me while I was working and worried. That's not being insecure... If anybodies significant other said they were going to sleep and you found out they were partying, YOU would be pissed especially after talking about not doing that several times! I shouldn't feel pity. She hurt me all those hours and many times... She just didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. So to hell with these feelings, right?
Is this how I should be thinking? And is it correct?

[Something_Here]

Well, it's hard to rid yourself of feelings, but don't run yourself down. God knows I've had moments were I've done just that though, but don't dwell on it for too long. "Into the woods and out of the woods and home before dark!"

Good luck with the accountant thing, you'll have no problem finding a well paid job, and if you also like it, well then good on you :)

[emopunk7]

Thank you something hire... anybody else?

[SamLovesBrian14]

Both of you are pretty childish, that's what it sounds like to me. 4 years is a long time, give it a rest if she's been with you being jelous and everything else, for that long, why question her. You both sound as if you are way too much alike. And oh by the way since when did hurting the person you love become acceptable for payback?

[emopunk7]

I'm going insane!! I feel so hurt like I ruined everything. Did I ruin everything?
Hell with these feelings! My ex lied to me about sleeping and ignored me while I was working and worried. That's not being insecure... If anybodies significant other said they were going to sleep and you found out they were partying, YOU would be pissed especially after talking about not doing that several times! I shouldn't feel pity. She hurt me all those hours and many times... She just didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. So to hell with these feelings, right?

Keep in mind that I was hurt that she lied and I spoke to her about it at 12AM and she didn't want to hear it... then she curses me out and hangs up. Then ignored me till 5AM and just did what she wanted. Isn't that wrong? Then she calls me at 5 and I try talking calm as pissed as I was and she curses me out again and says "f you, I been doing this!" and then she hung up and ignored me again. Like I don't deserve that treatment just for going to work and doing nothing wrong. And the next day she didn't even give me time but she gave me about 5 minutes of her break and told me she is stressed out and doesn't want to hear it so then that's when I couldn't take it... I tried. Isn't she in the wrong? Plus I apologized for what I did back unlike her little I'm sorry I love you text. I sent multiple texts and went to her job to show I'm really sorry. Why is everyone blaming me. I was very hurt.

Nonetheless I miss her... What do I do? Was she just looking for a way to end it anyway? Was this her easy way of getting out?

[Cat1864]

You're on the treadmill again, emo.

Instead of running in place and exhausting yourself while getting nowhere, tell us about how the redecorating is going.

How's your band doing?