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amicon · Nov 1, 2009, 04:27 AM

You re doing well-keep it up. And don't spend time even thinking about him.
Cyberhug.

louiseismyname · Nov 1, 2009, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by amicon

You re doing well-keep it up. And dont spend time even thinking about him.
Cyberhug.

Thanks amicon, I'm going to try and put him out of my head I promise, its just so hard. Its not that I think nice things when I do think of him, I just think of all the horrible things he has put me through :( :( and he don't seem to care that he has hurt me so so much.

Im trying to keep strong as I've more important things to consider at the moment like my nan and my mum, thanks again :D:D

louiseismyname · Nov 2, 2009, 02:34 PM

Just another quick update (hope you don't all mind) , I've got too over the 1 week mark today of NC!! Its day 8 ad I'm feeling fine, I'm so surprised as I thought by now I would be pining for him or even wondering about them together. But I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that I really don't care if there together or not. Ive been at college tonight so that is keeping me mega busy at the moment.

It really is true when all you all say NC is the key to moving on, thank you so so much for all your help and advice xxx

amicon · Nov 2, 2009, 03:10 PM

Well done you!:-)

louiseismyname · Nov 3, 2009, 07:46 AM

Thanks amicon, for some stupid reason I'm having a bit of a moment where I started to think of the ex so I thought id better come on here rather than sit and dwell on the plonker. Don't worry I'm not going to contact him, I just had a bit of a weak moment there for a bit. I really don't want anything to do with him ever again :-)

Im just annoyed that I let him lie and trick me for so long, but I've learnt my lesson at last xxx

amicon · Nov 3, 2009, 08:00 AM

Weak moments are allowed!
Do something you enjoy instead.:-) x

asking · Nov 3, 2009, 08:03 AM

Hi Louise,
It's understandable that you would remember some of the good things and to miss some of that. But this guy only makes women miserable. Get your mind on something else. :)

Take care.

louiseismyname · Nov 3, 2009, 09:38 AM

Thanks asking and amicon. Im trying to keep myself busy busy busy. I get mad at myself for having these weak moments. Yes it is true that we did have some good times but he tarnised all of those with the amount of bad times he put on me :-(

The thing that still hurts me is how he could lie about something so sick (sel harming and cutting my name into his arm so we will be together forever), I was going to give up going to Australia for him due to these actions. He is just so so selfish its untrue. Never once has he apologised to me for the hurt and the worry that he has caused me (not that I want to hear from him btw) but it would have just been nice to know he felt some shame. But to be honest I don't think he even realises that he has done something wrong.

I do think that someone who could lie about self harming and being taken into hospital plus cutting my name in there arm so we can be together forever does need some mental health don't you think??

amicon · Nov 3, 2009, 10:02 AM

Don't worry about the weak moments-they'll pass. Just accept he's a sick person and no longer in your life.

asking · Nov 3, 2009, 10:20 AM

I have been wondering about his saying he cut your name into his arm. Do you think he was trolling you?

louiseismyname · Nov 3, 2009, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by asking

I have been wondering about his saying he cut your name into his arm. Do you think he was trolling you?

Sorry asking, I don't know what you mean ?

louiseismyname · Nov 4, 2009, 02:33 PM

I'm on day 10 and I'm doing OK, just thought id post again as I know that if I can do this NC thing then ANYONE can do it. Yes its hard but I feel so free and much happier as I'm not worrying about someone carving my name in there arm!! Yes it hurts that they would make all those lies up but I'm just glad that I'm out of there and away from his poisonous mind games xxxx

asking · Nov 4, 2009, 02:51 PM

I should not have brought it up. You have been doing great.
I say, don't think about him!

Have you been seeing friends lately? Plans for Thanksgiving or a trip in the next month or so?

Cheers,
asking

louiseismyname · Nov 4, 2009, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by asking

I should not have brought it up. You have been doing great.
I say, don't think about him!

Have you been seeing friends lately? Plans for Thanksgiving or a trip in the next month or so?

Cheers,
asking

Hi asking, I'm glad you brought it up, what did you mean hun?

asking · Nov 4, 2009, 03:30 PM

I just meant maybe he was deliberately trying to upset you for the fun of it because he knew he could. It was just a thought because it seemed so weird to threaten you like that, especially when it turns out he's seeing someone else anyway. So if he wasn't even distraught, I guess I'm thinking it was a joke and he's an even worse jerk. I'm really angry with him and I don't even know him!

louiseismyname · Nov 4, 2009, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by asking

I just meant maybe he was deliberately trying to upset you for the fun of it because he knew he could. It was just a thought because it seemed so weird to threaten you like that, especially when it turns out he's seeing someone else anyway. So if he wasn't even distraught, I guess I'm thinking it was a joke and he's an even worse jerk. I'm really angry with him and I don't even know him!

I think he was trying to upset me, the more I think about him and the what he did to me mentally the more angry I used to get hence why it don't bother me anymore as I know I'm better than 10 of him.
As for him seeing someone, he broke it off with her but they were still friends with benefits shall we say!! I think he partly did it because he knew that I cared and he loved the attention that I gave him when he told me what he had done. On the other hand his ex told my friend that my ex was telling her that he thought I was a bunny boiler because I was texting him all the time?? (I only text him as he said he was cutting himself because of me), he was playing us both for fools. He told the woman that he would "come down and sort me out" as I was making her cry!! :confused::confused:

That he was playing us off against each other, he was telling me he loved me and he didn't want me to go to australia and that he cut himself due to his love for me, on the other hand he was telling the other woman the he thought that I was a bunny boiler and that he would sort me out if I was making his other woman's life hell.

asking · Nov 4, 2009, 05:57 PM

Hmm. Classic two-timer and similar to what people describe as borderline personality disorder, too. Always stirring the pot and playing people off against each other.

You are well rid of him.
Congratulations!
asking

louiseismyname · Nov 5, 2009, 03:09 AM

Originally Posted by asking

Hmm. Classic two-timer and similar to what people describe as borderline personality disorder, too. Always stirring the pot and playing people off against each other.

You are well rid of him.
Congratulations!
asking

I think you are right Asking, the main thing that he liked doing was playing mond games with people. He once turned round and said to my friend that he enjoyed playing mind games with people and that was good at it because he had 30 years experience of it? :confused::confused: now how sick in the head is that statement eh!!

All the guy does is just flick from one girl to the next, he told his ex he called it off with her because he was scared of getting hurt lol!! That made me laugh as for one he told me they were never in a relationship and secondly and more laughable me thinks is that he is OK hurting everyone else but don't want to get hurt himself.

On a serious note, I really do think that the guy has some very serious mental health issues to be lying about cutting himself and being addmitted into hospital, he just made a big joke of it (pretending to cut himself) when my friend confronted him. It is just a vicious circle for him that I feel will never ever end, lies... cheats... lies... cheats etc

louiseismyname · Dec 18, 2009, 04:38 AM

Hi all, I don't know if you remember me and my situation. Well I was doing very well with the ex and then last week he came back into my life as he had heard I was in a car crash, he asked how I was and I thought I'm over him so il respond and say I'm OK and that it wasn't serious and I had just hurt my back.

Anyway we got chatting as mates and he asked me to marry him, I was shocked, I told my mate and my mate went and told his ex girlfriend. As soon as she knew she was texting me asking me if it was true saying that they had broken up in Oct but where still sleeping together until 5 weeks ago when she had enough of his mind games and decided just to be mates with him. She did say that a couple of days previuos he had asked her and her daughter to spend new yr with him. Once the ex found out he asked me to marry him she rung him and he denied everything calling me a loony and a lair and that I was stalking him?? I just couldn't believe it, then my ex turned on me and all of a sudden wouldn't reply to my texts after just asking me to marry him? Whilst ignoring me he was telling his ex nasty thing about me.

Fastforward a day later and his ex girlfriend has gone from saying us girls should stick together etc etc to texting me abuse calling me a stalker and that I should leave him alone and that I'm desperate, so god knows what he has been telling her. The ex has told one of my friends he thinks I'm a nasty skank etc etc I won't go into the words as they are not very nice.

He is now trying to sweet talk his ex, I just understand why he does this? Why ask me to marry him and then tell his ex that he hasn't?

amicon · Dec 18, 2009, 05:01 AM

Louise-please don't do this again-let it sink in -once and for all-ANY contact,ANY involvement with your ex allows you to step right back to where you were-in misery,pain and confusion.
Is that what you want? If NOT just ignore him.
I hope your back's better.