[miken545]

How am I going to deal and handle a teenage son who doesn't listen and fights with me and disrespect me ?

[Clough]

Hi, miken545!

What are some of the things that he says and does that causes you to think the way that you do about the situation, please?

More specifics from you, as to what is going on would be helpful here, in order for us to be able to help you the best.

Thanks!

[justcurious55]

And also, what do you do now when he says and does things? What have you already tried?

[artlady]

You sit down and discuss what him what the rules are.Get his feedback.Try to find a compromise that you can both agree on when it comes to the house rules.

Together,you make a list of the rules and you also decide what the consequences of breaking those rules are.

Try to make the punishment fit the crime.

His grades are poor than he has an earlier curfew until he brings them up.
He screams and shouts at you ,he gets a privilege taken away.

Let him know that his out of control behavior is going to bite him in the butt because your not going to take it.

The ball is in his court.If he decides to mess up,there will be consequences and you must have a firm resolve and not give in to threats or bullying.


Explain that your rules come from a place of love and concern for his well being and that if he wants to be treated like an adult and be respected,he has to earn that privilege.

If he become too much to handle you can use the legal juvenile system for help and or school counselors.

If there is a male in his life,encourage that person to have a chat with him.

Try to talk to him as an adult.
Help him to understand you expect him to be respectful as that is the way adults treat one another.

Help him to understand there are many things we do not want to do in this life and its not all fun and games.He is growing up and that is an important lesson.

Try not to sweat the small stuff and choose your battles wisely.

Give him encouragement when you see he is doing well.He is still a kid,and he still needs a pat on the back for his efforts.

Now is not the time when you want to have a communication breakdown.Try to spend some quality time together and just keep the conversation light but ask his opinions about things and make him feel like his knowledge is valuable.

Remember that we all go through this and as difficult as is it ,it can be easier if you look at it from his point of view as well.

Remember what it was like for you as a teen.Too often as parents we tend to forget.

And good luck!

[Blushingbride]

I don't know what problems have occurred or the punishments you've given but I believe all children are to obey their parents. Take control you tell him what to do and don't let his, "mom I hate you" type attitude get to you. I look at it this way. If he acts like he hates you you're doing something right and one day he's going to look back and see he was wrong. At the same time let him make his own choices on certain things because the best lessons learned are from experience. Best example I have of this was my older sister when we were teens and she turned out to be a responsible woman and her and mom are close now.

[jmjoseph]

I don't know what problems have occured or the punishments you've given but I believe all children are to obey their parents. Take control you tell him what to do and don't let his, "mom I hate you" type attitude get to you. I look at it this way. If he acts like he hates you you're doing something right and one day he's gonna look back and see he was wrong. At the same time let him make his own choices on certain things because the best lessons learned are from experience. Best example I have of this was my older sister when we were teens and she turned out to be a responsible woman and her and mom are close now.

Blushingbride, Do you have children? If so, do they tell you that they hate you? If they don't, then you're doing something wrong in your book? I have two sons, and they tell me that they love me all the time. Why? Because I treat them with respect. And love. They are disciplined, and they follow rules, like children should do. The day they tell me that they hate me, is the day we sit down and talk it out. It will absolutely break my heart, but we'll work through it. THAT is not a healthy environment to bring up kids in. What you are saying makes no sense what-so-ever.

If you can't help it, don't hurt it even more.

Miken545, I know the frustration involved in raising kids. I never thought that I would turn to books for parental advice, but I did, and it has changed our lives, for the good.

There's an author named Dr Kevin Leman, that several books out, but the one I recommend is "Have A New Kid by Friday". You should get it, as it teaches you how to deal with specific problems that may come up, especially with teens.

I wish for you peace and strength.

[Dougan123]

Hi,
I am going to be a teenager in November! I think that the emotion swings of your son are in place. I think that you might need to show him that you don't want to fight him, but make it clear that you are right about what you are fighting about.
Hope that helped.