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    bjohnrupp's Avatar
    bjohnrupp Posts: 293, Reputation: 32
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    #1

    Oct 20, 2009, 07:17 PM
    General break up questions
    In general... What does it mean when someone breaks up with you and they say that they "emotionally let themselves down" before they did the break up? Also when someone breaks up with you is there always somebody else in the picture? I've heard the experts say "a girl does not break up to be alone".
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #2

    Oct 20, 2009, 07:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bjohnrupp View Post
    I've heard the experts say "a girl does not break up to be alone".
    I'm not sure where you heard that, but there are many different possibilities.

    When someone breaks up with the other person, it could mean that their feelings for the other person isn't strong enough to continue a romantic relationship anymore. In other words, their feelings for that person have changed or that they lost trust/faith in that person and don't want to forcefully continue/try a relationship. It's like giving up hope that the relationship would work.

    Romantic feelings can naturally go away as well. It's not that someone did something wrong, it's a natural occurrence.
    bjohnrupp's Avatar
    bjohnrupp Posts: 293, Reputation: 32
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    #3

    Oct 20, 2009, 07:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    I'm not sure where you heard that, but there are many different possibilities.

    When someone breaks up with the other person, it could mean that their feelings for the other person isn't strong enough to continue a romantic relationship anymore. In other words, their feelings for that person have changed or that they lost trust/faith in that person and don't want to forcefully continue/try a relationship. It's like giving up hope that the relationship would work.

    Romantic feelings can naturally go away as well. It's not that someone did something wrong, it's a natural occurence.
    Thanks I wish... so you're saying not all cases there's somenody else? Also, what does it mean "let themselves down emotionally" before they dump you?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Oct 20, 2009, 07:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bjohnrupp View Post
    In general....What does it mean when someone breaks up with you and they say that they "emotionally let themselves down" before they did the break up? Also when someone breaks up with you is there always somebody else in the picture? I've heard the experts say "a girl does not break up to be alone".
    The one who breaks it off has already had time to chew around on and swallow and digest all the emotions, both good and bad. He or she has already worked through the possible words and feelings that will occur during the breakup. The one who breaks it off is miles ahead in resolution and recovery of the one who gets dumped. And no, there doesn't have to be someone else in the picture. A girl can break up to be alone (without a new boyfriend). After all, she has all her girlfriends as a support group.
    bjohnrupp's Avatar
    bjohnrupp Posts: 293, Reputation: 32
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    #5

    Oct 20, 2009, 07:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    The one who breaks it off has already had time to chew around on and swallow and digest all the emotions, both good and bad. He or she has already worked through the possible words and feelings that will occur during the breakup. The one who breaks it off is miles ahead in resolution and recovery of the one who gets dumped. And no, there doesn't have to be someone else in the picture. A girl can break up to be alone (without a new boyfriend). After all, she has all her girlfriends as a support group.
    It just seems like a lot of people when they give advice say if she/he wants to go on break that means she wants to cheat without feeling guilty before officially dumping the person.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Oct 20, 2009, 07:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bjohnrupp View Post
    It just seems like a lot of people when they give advice say if she/he wants to go on break that means she wants to cheat without feeling guilty before officially dumping the person.
    Well, "a lot of people" are WRONG!!

    When I was a teacher, "a lot of people" gave me wrong advice. When I was pregnant, "a lot of people" gave me wrong advice. When I was a young mother with two kids in tow, "a lot of people" gave me wrong advice. When I went to grad school, "a lot of people" gave me wrong advice. Finally, when I turned 50, I stopped listening to "a lot of people" and their crummy advice.
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
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    #7

    Oct 20, 2009, 07:52 PM
    Yes, most girls either breaks up for someone else, or hooks up soon after.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Oct 20, 2009, 08:44 PM

    When you get dumped, its usually from out of the blue for you, and of course when your in your shocked state it seems your ex has moved on rather fast. But as was said, usually the partners feelings have changed, and they are more ready to move on while your in shock.

    Seldom are break ups sudden, and without a lot of thought.

    If your feelings ever change for a partner, then you will experience the other side of the coin, and then you'll know its not always a piece of cake to dump someone, when you know they will be hurt by it for a while.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #9

    Oct 20, 2009, 10:44 PM
    The reasons for each breakup are unique. Personally I ve never broken up with anyone to jump into a relationship with someone else.
    Ive left because the communication broke down and the lack of the same was hurting me too much to stay.

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