[4answers]

Having someone who you perceive to be of value either because of looks or personality emotionaly interested in you makes you feel good, attractive, deisrable and wanted. All the positive feelings of being in a relationship. These feelings naturally increase yourself esteem and self perceived value.

This shows outwardly and makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Hense the reason why it is always easier to find another whilst in a relationship than being single.

At the end of the relationship it is the emotional interest of the person that goes and therefore the loss of the previous mentioned positive emotional effects... (Heartbreak)

When single it is these positive feelings that are craved... Lonliness.

In Dating the better looking physically a person then the greater the emotional interest of the opposite sex. Especially true for women who receive greater attention from men than they show in men. (Generally it's the man who has to initiate).

Just as in the loss of the relationship and the loss of the positive emotional benefits of being wanted, rejection during dating has an effect of producing negative emotional feelings. If the rejection is continues, i.e. unatractive men going for good looking women, or unatractive woman going for good looking men, then this continious negative emotional effects has the result of lowering our self esteem, our self perception of our value to others and this shows in how others perceive us.

So how's does an unatractive person who wants / needs / craves the positive emotional interest in them of an attractive person, but who faces rejection from attractive people get over this.

(confidence in the dating game comes from success and high perceived value, If rejection is a constant then how can their be confidence).

[phlanx]

Evening, Before you can receive respect you need to respect yourself, before you can be loved, you need to love yourself.

Isn't life a pain in the neck :) As you say you are looking for assurances from other people, when the best assurance you can ever receive is from yourself.

Have a think about yourself and find out what points you like about yourself, and then concentrate on that.

For myself, I hate dancing, I am way to self conscious being 6'5" and 18stone, so I would never take a lady dancing - simple choice for me :)

So find the good points in yourself.

Every woman on this entire planet share a desire from men - to make them feel special - make the lady you are with feel like they stand above the rest, add a joke (bad ones are perfectly good) make her laugh a little and any woman warms to you

[Cat1864]

In Dating the better looking physically a person then the greater the emotional interest of the opposite sex. Especially true for women who recieve greater attention from men than they show in men. (Generally its the man who has to initiate).

I think this is where the fallacy lies. Emotional response is different from sexual attraction.

I quite frankly never responded to males who couldn't look me in the face when they said hello. Feeling like a prize horse in a show or like the next conquest was a huge turn off.

The man I married treated me like a human being and showed that he had interests in my mind as well as my body. He also had confidence in himself because he knew who he was as a person. To me, he is the sexiest, most attractive male on Earth.

It seems to me that the person who doesn't try to be the next Brad Pitt or Tyra Banks is actually more attractive as a person because he or she is being him/herself. Personality shows even before a person opens his/her mouth to speak. Eye contact and physical bearing can be great assets.

Confidence is not something that a person can gain from other people. It comes from inside as you do things that help you feel positive about yourself. For some that is music, painting, writing, playing sports, rebuilding a car, helping others on a message board, etc.

Where you try to meet someone also limits the types of people and what they are looking for. If you go to bars to meet people, then you will find more of those who pay more attention to sexual attraction and are looking for hook-ups rather than relationships. If you develop an interest in something that has group gatherings, then you will find more people who are looking at shared interests and personality for the more settled longer-term relationship.

[talaniman]

So how's does an unattractive person who wants / needs / craves the positive emotional interest in them of an attractive person, but who faces rejection from attractive people get over this.

Stop seeing yourself as unattractive. I know a simple answer, but all together something to think about. This goes to your own confidence, and self esteem, which is felt by others on an emotional level, as opposed to something they can actually see.

confidence in the dating game comes from success and high perceived value,

Naw, I don't agree. Confidence comes from self worth, and that's what you feel about yourself, and you are the one who places a value on yourself, and never place another at a higher value for any reason.

If rejection is a constant then how can their be confidence).

Just me, I never take rejection personally, its always for whatever reason another has that they reject you. (except for bad breathe, stinking deodorant, or maybe they just don't like you... so what?) Rejection is their problem, not yours. Most times its for the best, as who wants time with a self indulgent, selfish flake any way??

Don't crave attention, that puts you in a bad perspective of yourself. You end up being dissapointed or hurt when others don't give you what you need.

SOLUTION-Love yourself and you wont depend on others to make you happy, and you wont fall for the personal BS of others either.