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jonesr19 · Sep 30, 2009, 04:30 AM

Hi,

I was with my partner for 5 years I lived with her, and her two kids. We meet things were brilliant. My relationship with her son was not good but we got on. But I had a gambling problem that I did not tell her about. After 4 years together we decided to get a new house together. Things were going well we saw the house we liked. We put a bid in she had someone to buy her house, but days before we were meant to exchange contracts the buyer of her house pulled out and we lost out dreams home we were going to buy. From then on things went down hill. I was gutted we had lost your new home. We were unable to sell her house so we had to pull out of the deal for our new place. We were gutted.I stated gambling again, we still got on but I was lying on were I was going. In the end she could not take it any more and asked me to leave as she need space from my lies. This was two years ago since then I have stopped gambling. And have but all my efforts into her and the two kids. I think I have spend over £10,000 on stuff for her and the kids and her home, were as I'm living with my dad on a farm with no water or electricity. This is the only way I could show her I love her and the kids so much and to show I'm not gambling she says I have broken her trust. But still she says she is hurting from my lies. We speak everyday. But now she is says she just wants me to leave her alone. What do I do? I love this lady with all my heart.

redhed35 · Sep 30, 2009, 04:42 AM

Let it go before you spend any more money!

You have done enough to make amends financially... after two years if she has not changed her heart,she's not going too.

Put your efforts into getting your life on track,and stop trying to buy her trust back... it won't work.

Well done on overcoming your addiction... now you have another one to overcome... her...

You can do it.

lostinside · Sep 30, 2009, 04:43 AM

It sounds to me that you really do love her. I've been in kind of the same position. End the end you will see she is just using you for the money and won't take you back. She just needs you there to help support her right now and then out the door you go.

jonesr19 · Sep 30, 2009, 04:49 AM

Originally Posted by redhed35

let it go before you spend any more money!

you have done enough to make amends finanially...after two years if she has not changed her heart,she's not going too.

put your efforts into getting your life on track,and stop trying to buy her trust back...it wont work.

well done on overcoming your addiction...now you have another one to overcome...her...

you can do it.

I still pay bills ina house I don't live in. But I don't want to stop as I miss her kids to.

I wish · Sep 30, 2009, 04:55 AM

If she told you to leave her alone, you got to respect her wishes. The trust is broken. No trust = no relationship.

If she doesn't want to give you a chance to repair the trust, then there's nothing to you can do. Learn from this experience and do better next time.

Furthermore, it's time to cut financial support to her because you're just pouring money down the drain. It's no different from your gambling habbits. She doesn't want you anymore and it's starting to sound like she's only talking to you to keep you around enough to help pay the bills.

redhed35 · Sep 30, 2009, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by jonesr19

I still pay bills ina house i don't live in. But i don't want to stop as i miss her kids to.

I'm going to take the hard line here... her children are not your responsibliity,you a fully grown adult man have been reduced to a meal ticket... she's not saying maybe in the future she is saying no.

NO.

You have a responability to yourself and now an elderly parent that needs care... take care of your own house first..

I bet,as soon as you pull away and she needs some money,she'll be back until she gets it... where once there was love now its gone.. you both had your issues in the past,its time to let go and move on,before you find yourself broke and on your own.

Your not santa clause,let their father provide for his kids.

talaniman · Sep 30, 2009, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by jonesr19

I still pay bills ina house i don't live in. But i don't want to stop as i miss her kids to.

You need to stop taking care of someone who can't forgive you after two whole freakin' years.

Now your being used. You screwed up, and she made you pay, you have so do as she says, and get beyond this.