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CFZD · Aug 5, 2009, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

You're a good example of why a good man will shy away from a woman who plays head games.

Don't get emotional, let it go, you are a MAN!;)

N0help4u · Aug 5, 2009, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by CFZD

OP,

I talk to one once that some jokes are not nice, he said " sometimes, we talk sh*t, we don't even know what we are talking about..."

LOL

oh well

It is totally different for a bunch of guys to get together and joke about things
Than belittling your girlfriend. So you are comparing apples to avacodos here.

She is being verbally abused and I think there is an underlying cause here.
Like he may have very little respect for her or women in general.
I think the problem is him and this is only one aspect of his general over all attitude.

She needs to dump him because he isn't going to wake up and start treating her with the respect she deserves.

N0help4u · Aug 5, 2009, 06:55 AM

Originally Posted by CFZD

Don't get emotional, let it go, you are a MAN!;)

There is no emotional about it.
Your comment comes off like you are playing word games to tie NK's hands
But I know that ain't going to happen.

And I am woman

dolly210 · Aug 5, 2009, 06:59 AM

Hmm interesting conversation

Well yesterday I had a serious talk to him about it, and I didn't sugarcoat anything.

Because not only did heinsult my race, but he told me things aboutother girls and him that I really didn't want to know about.

He pretty much shut up when I just let loose about everything... and he felt genuinly sorry. Aparently he really didn't mean any of it and promises to be more careful about running his mouth.

But this was a very long conversation I had with him. It turned into talking about his past aches and pains and confusion about himself.

I guess I will just have to see what will come from all this

I wish · Aug 5, 2009, 07:06 AM

As long as he makes progress in his behavior you will have something to look forward to.

As long as he doesn't let it go in one ear and out the other.

As long as he didn't say things just to brush you off this time, just so he can do it again in the future.

Don't put up with his insensitivity. He should definitely show you more respect. I'm glad that you confronted him about your feelings. It's better that you stand up for yourself and get what you want.

CFZD · Aug 5, 2009, 07:08 AM

Originally Posted by dolly210

Hmm interesting convo

well yesterday I had a serious talk to him about it, and i didn't sugarcoat anything.

Because not only did heinsult my race, but he told me things aboutother girls and him that i really didn't wanna know about.

He pretty much shut up when I just let loose about everything....and he felt genuinly sorry. Aparently he really didn't mean any of it and promises to be more careful about running his mouth.

But this was a very long conversation I had with him. It turned into talking about his past aches and pains and confusion about himself.

I guess I will just have to see what will come from all this

OP,

That's very good. Some people don't think before they talk ( we all do sometimes, not intentionally). I am glad he is even more opened up.
:)

N0help4u · Aug 5, 2009, 07:10 AM

Him talking about other girls is REALLY low, disrespectful, has a low self image and immature. IF you wanted the conversation too then that is another thing but for some reason he is treating you like $H!T sorry but that is the ONLY appropriate word I can come up with.

SO he claims he is genuinely sorry.
SO if he is then he will NOT do it again.
IF he continues I would take it that he really doesn't know what love is and dump him.

IF he loves you then it will be simple for him to break the 'habit'

N0help4u · Aug 5, 2009, 07:23 AM

CFZD agrees: I was joking. Don't worry.

I am not worried
But filling the thread with joking is, to say the very least, distracting.

Also, '' I was joking'' in cases like this often comes off as a lame attempt to just change up the meaning of how you meant what you said.

holyangel17 · Sep 29, 2009, 02:42 PM

Well, from what I see among interracial dating. It's always the guys who are the non-white. Sometimes, it is due to insecurities, they insult the White race. Appearently, he is dating you so, that means he likes you and find you attractive including your race. Otherwise, he could have stuck to his own race and date a Mexican girl. And you have apache Indian in your blood? But, I bet you look White though right? Also, true Mexican culture and Native American culture share many traits and values. I think you should just ask him why he is making jokes rather than keeping it in you and letting it effect you persoanlly!

JudyKayTee · Sep 29, 2009, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by holyangel17

Well, from what I see among interracial dating. It's always the guys who are the non-white. Sometimes, it is due to insecurities, they insult the White race. Appearently, he is dating you so, that means he likes you and find you attractive including your race. Otherwise, he could have stuck to his own race and date a Mexican girl. And you have apache Indian in your blood? But, I bet you look White though right? Also, true Mexican culture and Native American culture share many traits and values. I think you should just ask him why he is making jokes rather than keeping it in you and letting it effect you persoanlly!

WHAT? I would find this no less racist if any other race were included here.

It's "always the guys who arenon-white ... they insult the White race."

I find this very offensive.

As far as the racist jokes, yes, the boyfriend is out of line. Any "joke" that hurts or upsets anyone is out of line.

holyangel17 · Sep 29, 2009, 03:34 PM

How is that being racist towards White race? Maybe, I should not have stated it exactly like that. Let me rephrase it then: In an interracial relationship, the higher percentage of men are non-white. The females tend to be White. It does not mean anything racist! It's because from a psychological perspective, women are more understanding, accepting, and mature to understand different cultures and point of views. I learned this in my undergraduate Psychology class. It was called Multicultural Family Psychology.Please do not get offended; I know how one can take it as a stereotype or racist comment. I should have written in a differnt way and I apoligze for that!

holyangel17 · Sep 29, 2009, 03:39 PM

And I wrote it is due to insecurities, they insult the White race. I did not write non-white guys insult the white race. I wrote, "Sometimes, it is due to insecurities, they insult the White race." I am talking about insecurities here ok? NOT BEING NON WHITE!! His insecurity makes him make fun of white race relating to your issue. I am not talking about anybody else. I feel like I am justifying myself but please don't turn this into me being prejudiced.
I totally see how talk about race is such a sore subject.

desertcoral · Oct 1, 2009, 01:55 PM

I see that you have two options one get over it or two just tell that he should stop

JudyKayTee · Oct 1, 2009, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by holyangel17

and I wrote it is due to insecurities, they insult the White race. I did not write non-white guys insult the white race. I wrote, "Sometimes, it is due to insecurities, they insult the White race." I am talking about insecurities here ok? NOT BEING NON WHITE!!!! His insecurity makes him make fun of white race relating to your issue. I am not talking about anybody else. I feel like I am justifying myself but please don't turn this into me being prejudiced.
I totally see how talk about race is such a sore subject.

And - again - you don't have anything important enough to say to justify bold and caps.

dolly210 · Oct 2, 2009, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by holyangel17

Well, from what I see among interracial dating. It's always the guys who are the non-white. Sometimes, it is due to insecurities, they insult the White race. Appearently, he is dating you so, that means he likes you and find you attractive including your race. Otherwise, he could have stuck to his own race and date a Mexican girl. And you have apache Indian in your blood? But, I bet you look White though right? Also, true Mexican culture and Native American culture share many traits and values. I think you should just ask him why he is making jokes rather than keeping it in you and letting it effect you persoanlly!

Actually I don't look white. Many people can't really tell what I am because I'm darker and my facial features are questionable. I've had people who think I'm middle eastern, south american, and eastern european (ie Hungarian). So I get stared at a lot because people can't figure out if I'm even white! Haha

dolly210 · Oct 2, 2009, 05:46 AM

Oh and as I've said earlier, he stopped