[wildgrl]

Ok Question
Ive Been Married Twice
I Finally Met A Guy That Meets All My Criteria. Well He Tells Me He Loves Me. He Has A Problem At Work And Tries To Find Another Job Out Of State So I Try To Stick With Him Even Though I Don't See Him But Once A Week And Don't Talk To Him Much. So Hes Out Of State One Night And I Tell Him How Hard It Is To Get To Know Him If Hes Out Of State And I Don't Talk To Him Much. I Suggested That We Talk More On The Phone. He Gets Frustrated And Tells Me That He Can't Deal With This Anymore But He Likes Me A Lot And Thinks Im A Great Person. Just The Night Before Hes Asking Me To Meet His Parents And Tells Me Hes Ready To Get Married And Have Kids.
So All The Stresses Of Him Finding A Job Could That Be The Problem And Do You Think I Will Ever Here From Him Again? Wehad A Good Thing Going.

[Wildcat21]

Sounds like you put pressure on on him - if he is looking for work, he probably doesn't need added pressure. Give him some time. You might be way too available to him. Putting pressure on people is the worst you can do - there is a time and place for everything - you need to be with him face to face to discuss serious questions - and make sure it's after you do something FUN and you both are relaxed. I wouldn't call him and see if he calls back - if he doesn't - might be best to move on - out of a job and LD??

How long have you dated?? If it's more than 4 months I could see staying... but not even then.

Make sure you are doing the love tactic responsibilities: Being not too available, not being needy/clingy, not making him your life, NOT always telling how you feel about him - don't say you care - show it! don't be so agreeable with him. Make something else your life - work, hobbies, working out/exercise, friends, family.

People end up miserable because they make their lives their BF/partner... when all they are there for is to add to your life - compliment you.

LD relationships are really tough. You need patience, BUT, if he isn't willing to communicate regularly (every day might be too much until you are really close)

I advise that you go to Google and punch in: 'Long Distance realtionships' - tons of info out there.

Check out this web site www.lovetactics.com - there are a bunch of woman/love sites out there.

[wildgrl]

Thank you for replying
I didn't make my life around him
I am very active with exercising and with my friends family and dogs
I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Thanks again

[Wildcat21]

Long Distamce relationships are HARD! Both sides need to want to make it work. Rules - suck, but you need to discuss them - when to call, how often, when to see etc.

I am going through one and it's difficult at times, but when we are together it's amazing.

Give it some time.

[wildgrl]

Well just to let you know he did call back. But he called to leave a message on my voice mail while I was at work to say he was sorry he didn't call me back that night because he was so upset. He said that he had so much going on in his life right now that he just didn't have time for a relationship and that I deserved someone that could spend time with me and he wished it could be him. WOW isn't that the let down easy. Ive been basically trained to be married and I believe in working as hard as I can in relationships. Meanwhile my ex husband is wanting to get back with me. So life for me is crazy. But for him to call me and leave me a message is almost like turning the knife harder and I just wanted to say bite me pharmacy boy but I do still care about him. So I'm taking friends advise and not calling him back and retiring from dating for a while because Im just to young to go through all I have been through. Thanks again

[Wildcat21]

Voice-mail? After a serious relationship? That sucks.

Do not call him! We always want something we can't have! Especially early in a relationship. If you want him back, you could get him back, but it would be hard. I've done it - BUT, you MUST really love him - not really like. There are ways.

Maybe you just need time away from each other.

[wildgrl]

What are the ways to get him back? Just curious because before I got (dumped) he asked me if I wanted to just wait and see if he got the job in Florida or NC and then the ball would be in my court and I replied no because I wanted to continue seeing him during the transition time to get to know him.

[justjamestx]

In a post you sent to someone else you mentioned that you met a guy that was living with his girlfriend at the time, but then that everything worked out great not perfect but great. So is this the same guy that you are referring to now, or a previous relationship. Just curious is all.

[wildgrl]

No not the same guy someone else is under my name writing about a different person than I am

[justjamestx]

It almost appears to be the typical cat and mouse chase, or wanting what we can't have. Just sit down and evaluate the things that you really want in life,, not a person, rather personal changes and personal goals for yourself. People in general seek another, when they are not healed themselves from past relationships. Take the time for personal growth and learning about who you really are prior to moving on. Life is but choices, so you should choose them well. Every situation is a little different with its own twists, but there are always some patterns that can be recognized. The stress from work,, are very difficult for it could make him not feel worthy to have someone such as yourself. Perhaps he feels, that he cannot take care of himself let alone semeone else. These are only guesses, for I do know this person or his situation. Some people like to have excuses to move on and break out of the relationship. So perhaps he is just using this as the easy way out. But you probably have a good idea of his thoughts really are. Do you feel that he is seeking to move on, or that he is feeling low and unworthy. Well, I wish you the very best. I have a post titled "Forbidden Love" that if you wouln't mind I would like your input. Well, the very best of luck.

[Wildcat21]

Here is a website for you - some great advice.

www.lovetactics.com

You haven't lost him yet. Read the articles. They are great. Be his friend.