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Jamers · Sep 9, 2009, 02:37 PM

I am a mother whom never sees or talks with the biological fathers on my sons. My husband has been there since my boys were very young. We got married a couple of years ago, and were wondering what the process was or how to start the process of him adopting the children. The biological fathers have not seen these children in almost 10 and 8 years, which considering the age of my kids 10, 8 is amazing and shows that they have never been involved in these kids lives! I am wondering what steps to take and what to expect in family court? Such as how much time it could take. How much can I expect to pay? Would my kids have to be apart of the process? They are young and have known no other as a father. They have absent parents who don't ever bother. We have never spoken of their fathers to them. They have always thought of my husband as dad. At such a young age I would hate to have to explain that to them now. So any help with my situation would be greatly appreciated. My husband really wants to go forth with this process.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 9, 2009, 02:41 PM

1. Are either of the fathers paying child support.

2. are there child custody agreements in place

3. are the fathers listed on the birth certificate or have they been proven the fathers in court

Basically you are going to have to file for an adoption though the court, the parent who is losing the child will be served and asked to sign over their rights, Since all current child support would stop when they sign, having them sin is not as hard as if they were not having to pay now.

Jamers · Sep 9, 2009, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

1. Are either of the fathers paying child support.

2. are there child custody agreements in place

3. are the fathers listed on the birth certificate or have they been proven the fathers in court

Basicly you are going to have to file for an adoption though the court, the parent who is losing the child will be served and asked to sign over thier rights, Since all current child support would stop when they sign, having them sin is not as hard as if they were not having to pay now.

1. Yes they pay. A couple of months here a couple of years there.

2. Yes, but neither father has ever contacted me or shown up for any mediation.

3. Yes to both of number 3s questions.

Thank you

Synnen · Sep 9, 2009, 03:01 PM

You'll need to either get the consent of the biological fathers, or somehow prove that they are a danger to their children to get an involuntary termination of parental rights.

If you are not able to locate them, the courts have specific processes in place to attempt to contact them---and these processes vary from state to state, and in some cases from local area to local area.

My advice is to get a lawyer, one specializing in adoption.

As a side note---talk to your kids NOW about their stepfather, adoption, and the fact that they have biological parents different from what they thought.

If you wait, you're teaching your kids that it's okay to lie about something important, and you're risking lasting resentment from your children from withholding this information from them. Really, they SHOULD have the right to know it.

ScottGem · Sep 9, 2009, 03:09 PM

First, please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky at the top of the Adoption forum (where this was moved from) that refers legal questions to this forum.

Before a step parent adoption can be finalized the court will need to be satisfied that the legal parent agrees to the adoption or that it is in the best interests of the child to sever ties with the parent.

Terminating parental rights is all part of the adoption process. Get yourself an attorney to prepare the adoption petition (as we have said in dozens of threads). The attorney will prepare the proper paperwork to get the father's to relinquish their rights or get them terminated.