[SOSplease]

Hello, I am hoping anyone has some words of wisdom for me. My professional career includes over 20 years office/customer service experience. I have been at my current job for almost 10 months. I have never had an issue with a co-worker in my life that compares to this 61 yr old extremely unprofessional woman (fake name, Beth). When I first started, I caught this women in a few lies in the first week I met her. She was also very rude and nasty, but only when we were alone. If she wasn't being rude, she was bragging to me how wonderful the bosses think she is and how much the customers love her. Being new, I wasn't about to rock any boats so I just took my time to get to know everyone and began to feel I could trust a few to ask questions. They told me that Beth was rude to everyone, not to take it personally and don't believe anything she says. As time went on, I felt comfortable enough to tell my boss I was having problems with Beth. She too said everyone has had problems with her, but since they got bought out by a new corporation (they were formally a small family run business) that corporate told my manager that everyone starts new in their eyes and this woman got to start with a clean record. Long story short, this woman is very threatened by me. I get along with all of my co-workers and always have in all the years that I have worked. Problem is that whenever my mgr brings any HR issues up involving Beth, they seem to defend her (even though they were warned that they were about to fire her before they were bought).
She was caught editing 2 customer accounts in the past 2 months that terminated business with us before of her lack of professionalism. She edited these accounts after they canceled and after she knows they complained about her. Her edits were changed to slandering the customers, saying how difficult the customers were and complained they haggled too much about pricing, etc. She has been really harassing me since I had to bring these accounts to my manager's attention. I had no choice as I was the one who got both phone calls from the 2 different customers complaining to me as to why they were canceling.

This was brought to the attention of HR today, and they said that this was OK! As long as she edited her own logs and not one of another employee than no disciplinary action was necessary. She caused us to lose 2 customers due directly to her attitude and they state it's not an issue.

They did go on to say that if Beth and I can't get along then some disciplinary action may be taken against the both of us! How can this be? I know it's hard for anyone to comment as this is one side of the story, but I have very truthfully told you the facts as I am desperate for some real advice. I can not afford to quit, but I'll be damned if I let this women lie about me and slander my reputation. My manager said for me not to worry about it and just take the high road and ignore her, but this what I have been told for months and it's getting more difficult to do this. She sits behind me and whispers comments and will not get confrontational about anything if there is a witness.

I am guessing that HR is concerned over firing her because of her age (and that she sued 2 former employers for sexual harassment and they settled out of court). I am really up against a wall here. I guess they feel it's easier if she makes me quit than if they have to deal with her. She has 4 yrs to retirement.

Any advice on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated.

[twinkiedooter]

Having been in offices for 40 years I've seen it all, trust me. She sounds very familiar and I am sure I have met this particular individual in many different offices that I have worked at.

Being 61 is a little tricky. You might want to inform her that she can start collecting her SSR money at age 62 and still work. This would give her a chance to work part time and still make as much money as she would working full time (or probably more). Trust me when I tell you that she has no intentions of retiring period from work. Those types never do retire, they just stick around driving the other folks nuts. Been there, done that. But I did have some success with one old geezer who did turn 62 and she actually took my advice and worked only part time and stayed home the rest of the time driving her husband up the wall.

You need to tell her when she starts the whispering stuff that it is extremely detrimental to your concentration and would she kindly stop it.

Complaining about her will get you nowhere fast. They already know she is a lulu and can hardly wait to show her the door. I know this bothers you right now, but just remember this. She'll be gone soon and you'll still be there. Folks like her generally are hypochondriacs as well and she probably goes to the doctors a lot. (educated guess here). She just may want to take it easy having worked hard(?) all her life.

These type of individuals think they are the boss, hence she wants to edit the accounts of the former customers so she shines. I've seen that activity as well. Don't worry. It will come back to bite her.

Just keep your nose clean and do like the one manager says to take the high road. This way you will get the reputation of being a wonderful person regardless of what Ms. Lulu has to say as your actions will speak for themselves.

Just forget her and her behavior. Yes, it's hard to do, but you must remember she's been there longer than you have and sometimes folks like that are harder to get rid of for some strange reason. Be cheerful and actually nice to her (within limits that is). Don't fall into her trap of nastyness as it will not work for you like it does for her.

Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

If bosses and HR are not willing to do anything, it is obvoius they don't want to, sorry the buy out is merely bull, they could do something if they had wanted.

[SOSplease]

Thanks to you both for responding. I figured that I didn't have any choices outside of finding another job, but I was hoping perhaps there was something I was overlooking that could be done.

Thanks again.

[Wondergirl]

Thanks to you both for responding. I figured that I didn't have any choices outside of finding another job, but I was hoping perhaps there was something I was overlooking that could be done.

Thanks again.

Been there, done that -- so you have my best wishes.

What about "making friends" with her -- make her feel special somehow, take her out for coffee and ask her opinions about things or ask questions about growing up. I suspect she has a huge emotional hole in her life, a hole that was maybe created when she was a kid, or perhaps she underwent some trauma along the way. My mom always says you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Maybe no one has ever given her "honey" so she has become a very needy person who solves that problem in her own way. Maybe someone being honestly interested in her as a person will derail her a bit.

[SOSplease]

Wondergirl, thanks for your response as well. When I was first hired I felt there was going to problems with this woman right away because of her attitude. And my plan of defense was "kill her with kindness". This was actually starting to work in the beginning too, except that she kept getting caught in lies. As she considered my kindness to her as me becoming a "friend" so started really back stabbing all the other co-workers until one day I told her enough was enough. I wasn't going to entertain her lies or anymore of her "pity parties". She was bashing some great people all in trying to make herself look better. It's just not fair that the rest of us have to be subject to this because mgr thinks her comments are petty. Well, they are not petty to the rest of us. It creates a very stressful workplace.

I have been asked by co-workers even after all the harassment she has ensued upon me, why I still talk to her or am nice to her. My response is, I want my job. I have taken the high road more time than I care to count.

I truly do appreciate your advice. But to use your words.. "been there, done that".

[s_cianci]

I am guessing that HR is concerned over firing her because of her age

You probably answered your own question right here. They figure it's easier to tolerate her than to go through all kinds of potential legal hassles by firing her. They're probably just trying to tough it out another 4 years until she retires.