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Klaipeda · Sep 1, 2009, 01:09 PM

Hi ( I am sorry to all pregnant women but it's written in order to help myself, not in any means to hurt your feelings!)
I don't know why I feel this way since I was 8 years old (I am much more older now :)): I hate pregnant women. I feel hatred and anger seeing them and I call them sluts ( silently) because they like to f... k ( sorry for that, I just describing my inner feelings), so they are all sluts. First I started feeling the hatred when my eldest sister became pregnant with her first child. Since then I just cannot stand pregnant women, I just hate hate them!. etc.
Can someone please explain to me why I have been feeling this way all my life? I know ther's something wrong:confused:

J_9 · Sep 1, 2009, 01:20 PM

You need help, plain and simple. If it were not for the miracle of childbirth and pregnancy you would not be alive.

Golden_Girl · Sep 1, 2009, 09:52 PM

So, your sister became pregnant when you were 8 years old? Then how old was she at the time? I would suggest that you seek a therapist to help figure out why you have such inner hatred with pregnant women. It definitely stemmed from your youth and possibly is rooted during the time when your sister became pregnant, that is if she was underaged or quite young at the time? At least you are observant to the fact that this is a problem and you should seek help for it, that is the first step.

simoneaugie · Sep 1, 2009, 10:39 PM

I used to think pregnant women should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, they'd been doing the nasty and now the whole world could witness their guilt.

Then I got pregnant myself. Married, baby was planned... It was incredibly embarrassing. Everyone "knew!" The problem was that my family had done so much harping on how you should never be stupid enough to get pregnant that all I could think about, was that it was wrong.

It isn't wrong, bad or sinful. It looks different. It's supposed to look different. Being pregnant is one of the stages of a woman's life, like being a child, like being old.

Klaipeda · Sep 3, 2009, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by simoneaugie

I used to think pregnant women should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, they'd been doing the nasty and now the whole world could witness their guilt.

Then I got pregnant myself. Married, baby was planned...It was incredibly embarrassing. Everyone "knew!" The problem was that my family had done so much harping on how you should never be stupid enough to get pregnant that all I could think about, was that it was wrong.

It isn't wrong, bad or sinful. It looks different. It's supposed to look different. Being pregnant is one of the stages of a woman's life, like being a child, like being old.

I like your answer, I came through similar experience, I recalled it when you said that. It's become clearer to me. And it helped me when u said that you have to look at it differently. Stages of woman's life..
Big Thanks:)

Golden_Girl · Sep 3, 2009, 07:56 PM

:confused: well? Can you explain to me how old your sister was when she became pregnant?

Klaipeda · Sep 5, 2009, 02:01 AM

Originally Posted by Golden_Girl

:confused: well? can you explain to me how old your sister was when she became pregnant?

She was 23- normal age. She was married( Still is). I then realised how her behavior was dishonest towards me... I was angry at her, started hating her and her tummy... :confused:

artlady · Sep 5, 2009, 02:11 AM

Did you have sexual feelings toward your sister?
Did you feel like she cheated on you?

Fr_Chuck · Sep 5, 2009, 05:39 AM

It sounds like you had a unhealthy or improper ID or teaching about what sex is. Do you come from a extremely over religious home

Klaipeda · Sep 5, 2009, 08:00 AM

Originally Posted by artlady

Did you have sexual feelings toward your sister?
Did you feel like she cheated on you?

No. I never had any sexual feelings towards her. I am straight.

Klaipeda · Sep 5, 2009, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

It sounds like you had a unhealthy or improper ID or teaching about what sex is. Do you come from a extremely over religious home

Some kind of- my grandmother was very religiuos and she was always teaching us to believe and love GOd.But at 8 I just was not as much interested in religion.The sister was never very religious. When I was 7 and she was 22, we were in usual sister/ sister relationship until she met her future husband which was and still is not the best personality type person... When they were in the relationship , he never brough my mum any presents as her ex boyfreind did, also he did not treated me sensitively as her ex did he etc... And then in few years she got married and became pregnant by this beast , and became indifferent to me...
So maybe that's the answer

cal823 · Sep 5, 2009, 08:38 AM

I just hope that oneday you realise that sex and pregnancy can be wonderful, beautiful and natural things, when done right.
It is good that you understand that what you are feeling isn't right. That is the first step towards healing.
Try speaking to a counsellor or psychologist. They can help you (its their job).
How old are you know? You should be able to find help from a counsellor or group in your school/job/local community/etc
Good luck.

Golden_Girl · Sep 5, 2009, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

Some kind of- my grandmother was very religiuos and she was allwyas teaching us to believe and love GOd.But at 8 I just was not as much interested in religion.The sister was never very religious. When I was 7 and she was 22, we were in usual sister/ sister relationship until she met her future husband which was and still is not the best personality type person.....When they were in the relationship , he never brough my mum any presents as her ex boyfreind did, also he did not treated me sensitively as her ex did he etc........And then in few years she got married and became pregnant by this beast , and became indifferent to me....
So maybe that's the answer

Yeah, I agree with some of the others here that you understand that your negative feelings towards pregnancy and anything related to it is not right. And that you are possibly beginning to match some of the pieces to how and where these feelings are rooted from your past and negative experiences. So, the next step is to seek help from a therapist and maybe even group therapy so they can help you to move on and to understand the positives of childbirth.

J_9 · Sep 6, 2009, 05:56 AM

As a labor and delivery nurse, I have experienced people who have the same feelings you have.

I don't claim to know your religion, nor am I going to preach, I believe the right to celebrate religion is a personal choice.

However, I will say that the birth of a child is a beautiful thing. It is truly a miracle. When the egg and the sperm come together and you can see the multiplication of the cells go from a tiny little lump to slowly take form and move and replicate into something that, in the beginning, resembles a shrimp, literally, to then have a heartbeat, eyes, ears, arms, legs. It's truly remarkable and breathtaking (to me at least) to watch the transformation.

I don't know your culture and I don't know if you were raised to think sex is dirty or a way to show true love for another person. I do have a video that I can provide a link if you are interested in watching, that shows the transformation of one cell to the birth (not graphic, does not show anything) of a human child.

firmbeliever · Sep 6, 2009, 06:14 AM

I agree with J_9 that it is indeed a beautiful thing, the whole process of pregnancy. Especially knowing that we have been through the same journey within our mothers wombs.

Klaipeda, from what you have said, it seems you have some resentment towards the whole relationship your sister has with her husband, and the pregnancy is just secondary to that resentment.
Has your sister had her baby yet? Maybe spending time with your sister preparing for the arrival of the new baby also might help. Have you seen a scan of the baby? Ask your sister if she has one, it might make the pregnancy more personal if you are able to see the way your nephew or niece is developing.

You must remember that your sister having a baby also means that you will become an aunt,which is wonderful because most babies take a liking to their aunts/uncles, sometimes even come to depend on them for advice and guidance when their own parents don't understand their problems.

A baby brings a whole new perspective to everyone who's lives they touch; I hope you are able to become part of that wonderful world by dealing with your problems and resentment, also be able to make peace with the new baby and your sister.

s_cianci · Sep 6, 2009, 07:06 AM

Klaipeda, from what you have said, it seems you have some resentment towards the whole relationship your sister has with her husband, and the pregnancy is just secondary to that resentment.

I agree with this. I think that you feel like your brother-in-law robbed you of your sister when he married her. Her pregnancy of course signifies that they consummated their marriage so I feel that, for you, her pregnancy became a tangible object to project your resentment on to.

J_9 · Sep 6, 2009, 07:08 AM

I wonder if it's possible that you are resentful that your sister married and got pregnant before you did?

Klaipeda · Sep 7, 2009, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

As a labor and delivery nurse, I have experienced people who have the same feelings you have.

I don't claim to know your religion, nor am I going to preach, I believe the right to celebrate religion is a personal choice.

However, I will say that the birth of a child is a beautiful thing. It is truly a miracle. When the egg and the sperm come together and you can see the multiplication of the cells go from a tiny little lump to slowly take form and move and replicate into something that, in the beginning, resembles a shrimp, literally, to then have a heartbeat, eyes, ears, arms, legs. It's truly remarkable and breathtaking (to me at least) to watch the transformation.

I don't know your culture and I don't know if you were raised to think sex is dirty or a way to show true love for another person. I do have a video that I can provide a link if you are interested in watching, that shows the transformation of one cell to the birth (not graphic, does not show anything) of a human child.

You can give me the link, I would appreciate tha! Made sense your sayng that I was raised to hink that sex is dirty...

Klaipeda · Sep 7, 2009, 01:12 PM

Originally Posted by firmbeliever

I agree with J_9 that it is indeed a beautiful thing, the whole process of pregnancy. Especially knowing that we have been through the same journey within our mothers wombs.

Klaipeda, from what you have said, it seems you have some resentment towards the whole relationship your sister has with her husband, and the pregnancy is just secondary to that resentment.
Has your sister had her baby yet? Maybe spending time with your sister preparing for the arrival of the new baby also might help. Have you seen a scan of the baby? Ask your sister if she has one, it might make the pregnancy more personal if you are able to see the way your nephew or niece is developing.

You must remember that your sister having a baby also means that you will become an aunt,which is wonderful because most babies take a liking to their aunts/uncles, sometimes even come to depend on them for advice and guidance when their own parents dont understand their problems.

A baby brings a whole new perspective to everyone who;s lives they touch; I hope you are able to become part of that wonderful world by dealing with your problems and resentment, also be able to make peace with the new baby and your sister.

I wouldn't be able to see anyone giving birht ( even though I myself work in early prgnancy unit and sometmes do work on the birth unit... ) -to me they all love just one thing, and they all are f... rs! I hope that one day my feelings will change..

My sister's 'baby' is 31 now. And to may surprise I love him mostly from all my sister's family. While in the womb, I hated him, but when he was born, I adored him.It's because his father was rude to him when he was tot- spanking him when he was walking at night while dreaming. Spanking was awfull. I fell big sorrow for the chid and since then he became my faworite,- we were good friends as an aunty and nephew.